Twas the week before Christmas
and all through the land
No one was restin', not a single Reds fan.
The Red Stockings were hung by the dugout with care
In hopes that new "presents" would soon arrive there.
The fans were all nestled right snug in their Bed-
ards while visions of lefties danced through their head.
And Wayne in his office and Bob in his den
Had just made a call to RedRoser their friend.
When out o'er the cellular rose such a clatter
That Bob yelled to the Roser, "What the heck is the matter?"
Away to the Roser's Wayne flew like a felon
And arrived just in time to hear Roser a yellin:
"You promised us changes! Where ARE they?" asked 'Roser.
"So far all you've brought is one overpriced closer!
Our starting rotation lies somewhat a' barren,
No Tomko, no Leiber, go out and get Haren!
Trade Bailey, Trade Edwin, Trade Griffey or Hammy!
Or Votto, Cueto, or even your Mammy!
Offer Gonzalez or Valentin or Keppinger or Freel---
Whoever, Whatever it takes for a deal!"
His eyes all astonished, his shame unabated
Special K had no answer which the 'Roser awaited.
Yet I heard him exclaim as he walked past the lawn,
"Merry Christmas to all---you'll be gettin' Johan!"