What I've Learned

[Caveat Emperor]

Have one friend with no mental filter, that way you always have at least one honest opinion and find out when you're doing something stupid or annoying.

[sonny]

Be quick to listen and slow to speak.

[GAC]

"My kids aren't as smart as they think I am."

"If I'm suppose to be an example for my kids, then they're getting screwed."

"It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others."

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

"Without trials, life would be a bore."

"Our pain defines us."

"If it smells bad don't eat it."

"You're killing independent George!"

[GAC]

What you share will multiply.

That's how I got this stomach flu!

[camisadelgolf]

I'd rather regret something I did than something I didn't do.
It's better to live for a cause than to die for one.
Go ahead and eat the yellow snow--urine is sterile, and people will be impressed by how wild you are.
On your first day in prison, beat the crap out of someone so everyone will think you're tough and not make you their *****.
If you never want to see someone again, loan her/him money.
If you want to get laid, just lie. If that doesn't work, use alcohol. If that doesn't work, do something illegal. The first two usually work, though.
If you're caught stealing while walking out the door, just remember that it's technically not stealing until you exit the parking lot and give the goods back to the store.
The key to getting everything you want is to put yourself in debt. Make all your payments with various credit cards. When you die, your kids can pick up the tab.

[Dom Heffner]

Morality is what we do when no one's watching.

[Dom Heffner]

From Life's Little Instruction Book:

When describing a break-up to friends, simply say, "It was all my fault."

[RollyInRaleigh]

What you share will multiply.

What you hoard will diminish.

Very true in so many ways. Love and wisdom. Hate and gossip.

[RollyInRaleigh]

A few from John Wooden:

If you do not have the time to do it right, when will you find the time to do it over?

The man who is afraid to risk failure seldom has to face success.

If we magnified blessings as much as we magnify dissapointments, we would all be much happier.

The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.

Be more concerned with your character than your reputation. Character is what you really are; reputation is merely what you are perceived to be.

The smallest good deed is better than the best intention.

And one last one that my grandfather always told me that has always stuck with me:

Excuses are the nails that build a house of failure.

[Razor Shines]

The book is better than the movie.

[Mario-Rijo]

I'd rather regret something I did than something I didn't do.
It's better to live for a cause than to die for one.
Go ahead and eat the yellow snow--urine is sterile, and people will be impressed by how wild you are.
On your first day in prison, beat the crap out of someone so everyone will think you're tough and not make you their *****.
If you never want to see someone again, loan her/him money.
If you want to get laid, just lie. If that doesn't work, use alcohol. If that doesn't work, do something illegal. The first two usually work, though.
If you're caught stealing while walking out the door, just remember that it's technically not stealing until you exit the parking lot and give the goods back to the store.
The key to getting everything you want is to put yourself in debt. Make all your payments with various credit cards. When you die, your kids can pick up the tab.

All very good, as are everyone's but these just crack me up. I bolded the ones that really hit home.

A few of mine also:
Ignorance truly is blissful
Don't put your nose in the boss's but, but put yourself in his shoes
I am a sucker for tears and a pretty face
Convenience is code for lazy
I'm also a sucker for convenient foods

Be yourself it takes less effort and it's more respectable than being a fraud

I love women more than money, but it takes a passion for the latter to get passion from the former (Ok that may be a bit harsh)

If you want something badly enough you'll get it, but be careful that what you want isn't something you don't need

Love doesn't put food on the table, and it won't necc. get it cooked if you do put it there

Limburgher, Sauer Kraut and Braunschweiger are poor contributions to the world's market from germany

Treat a woman like a queen and you'll get to play the peasant, treat a woman with respect and you'll get to play the king

Be mindful if you are a young Jedi

Oh I could go on and on (and apparently I have) but i'll just do one more.


The Golden Rule:
Treat others as you would have them treat you

[Raisor]

Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat.
-Gorilla Moonsoon quoting either Bobby the Brain Heenan or Jesse the Body Ventura, depending on whom was co-hosting.

[RichRed]

Warning: sentimental stuff ahead. The following is what my dad wrote to me on my 21st birthday card while I was away at college. I've thought a lot about this since my dad's passing in November. Some good advice in here, I think, and it seemed appropriate for this thread.

Rich - I wish we could give you more, but things are still tight. I'm certain that they will improve.

One thing I can give to you on this special birthday is my undying love and a few important things I have learned by living over 59 years.

One of the main things is to develop good friends; accept them as they are, and be honest and faithful to them. They will return that faith many times over, especially when times are tough. When times are good, they are great to share your joy with.

Stay unselfish and do things for others; maintain at all times a reputation as a faithful trustworthy man, because this will provide you with much personal satisfaction through the years, pull you through tough times and always be something you can rightly be proud of, all your life!

Love always, your very proud
Dad

[Mario-Rijo]

Warning: sentimental stuff ahead. The following is what my dad wrote to me on my 21st birthday card while I was away at college. I've thought a lot about this since my dad's passing in November. Some good advice in here, I think, and it seemed appropriate for this thread.

Rich - I wish we could give you more, but things are still tight. I'm certain that they will improve.

One thing I can give to you on this special birthday is my undying love and a few important things I have learned by living over 59 years.

One of the main things is to develop good friends; accept them as they are, and be honest and faithful to them. They will return that faith many times over, especially when times are tough. When times are good, they are great to share your joy with.

Stay unselfish and do things for others; maintain at all times a reputation as a faithful trustworthy man, because this will provide you with much personal satisfaction through the years, pull you through tough times and always be something you can rightly be proud of, all your life!

Love always, your very proud
Dad

That's really good stuff RR! A man like that as a father is what we all dream to be deep down. You must be a very proud son to have had him.

Sorry for your loss!

[RichRed]

Thanks, Mario. I am very proud to be my dad's son. I feel like I have big shoes to fill.