Things That Drive You Crazy Redux

[paintmered]

My employer changed password policy some time ago, forcing us to change them more often and make them more complex. I passed this criteria around to others in my department:

1. You must change your network password every 90 days.
2. New passwords must be different from the last four passwords used.
3. Passwords cannot be changed more than once per day.
4. Passwords must have a minimum of seven characters.
5. Passwords must meet at least 14 of the following requirements:
-- Contain English uppercase letters
-- Contain English lowercase letters
-- Contain numerals
-- Contain non-alphabetic characters such as !, #, $ and %
-- Contain a character from a language yet to be invented
-- Include NO references to a member of the insect family
-- Reflect the Classical Prose Movement of the late Tang Dynasty, advocating clarity and precision rather than the florid parallel prose style that had been popular in the Han dynasty.
-- Include a cover letter
-- Must be entered truthfully, completely, and accurately.
-- Mention a member from one of the following: The Three Stooges, Little Rascals, or a briefcase model from "Deal or No Deal."
-- Be double-spaced
-- When read backwards, must rhyme with "peppermint"
-- Must not be resistent to traditional antibiotics
-- Cannot cool a system all the way to absolute zero, thereby violating the third law of thermodynamics
-- Must NEVER include "4,8,15,16,23,42" in sequence
-- Contain no anagrams
-- Avoid any letters used in the name: "Johann Gambolputty de vonAusfern-schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dingle-dangle-dongle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kurstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-ein-nurnburger-bratwustle-gernspurten-mitz-weimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shonedanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm
-- Contain jaunty banter
-- Contain no spaces unless followed directly by a character that meets the above requirement; unless the space is preceeded by a hieroglyph or an image of a moose head.

By any chance, do you have the same employer as I do? This all looks eerily familiar.

[KOBasinger]

CAPTCHAS!!!! I CANT STAND THEM

and yes, I know they are necessary on some websites.

[Caveat Emperor]

CAPTCHAS!!!! I CANT STAND THEM

and yes, I know they are necessary on some websites.

There was a thread on SomethingAwful.com's forums (which I can't link, since I'm still at the office) where people photoshopped / MS Painted images to reflect the literal meaning of the two words contained in captchas found around the web.

It was quite hillarious.

[Dom Heffner]

Bumping this thread because I found a new one:

Websites that require you to have a password that meets some stupid, arbitrary criteria. I had to register for some employee payroll website through work, and the website REQUIRES a password that is:

- Longer than 8 letters
- Uses at least 1 lowercase letter
- Uses at least 1 uppercase letter
- Uses at least 1 symbol
- Uses at least 1 number

I'm never gonig to remember this thing -- which means I'm going to need to write it down somewhere...DEFEATING THE POINT OF A PASSWORD ENTIRELY!

Here, here.

We have 15 passwords in the office that 3 different people use.

It's tough enough coming up with easy to remember passwords without adding a capital letter, pound sign, etc.

To add to this: accounts that suspend after only 3 failed tries.

They block out what I'm typing, so it's pretty easy to mess up. And then you have to call, where they have people sitting there collecting a check just for the 99.99999999999999999% of the time that a password needs to be reset for an authorized user.

Seriously, the password crap affects me everyday.

[westofyou]

Seriously, the password crap affects me everyday.

I was counting up all the numbers/passwords I use daily and came up with this

My bike locker at work
My Bike Lock in the locker
My Lock for my locker at work
My PW to login at work
My Cell Phone #
My Work Phone #
My Wifes Phone #
My Gmail PW
My Yahoo PW
My Blog PW
My Login for the bank

Then there is online accounts like:

My login for my home mortgage
My Login for DTV
My Login for Comcast
My Login for Sprint

and so on and so on.... it's a wonder I can still remember who played in every World Series.... which I can.

[durl]

By any chance, do you have the same employer as I do? This all looks eerily familiar.

It would be weird if we work in the same area (maybe 20 people) and didn't know that the other is on Redszone.

I've seen an absurd criteria list somewhere online before but I came up with one in my own inimitable fashion.

[paintmered]

It would be weird if we work in the same area (maybe 20 people) and didn't know that the other is on Redszone.

I've seen an absurd criteria list somewhere online before but I came up with one in my own inimitable fashion.

I'm in the Dayton area so I know we don't work together. But I do have to remember upwards of 20 super passwords that reset every 30-90 days. So I definitely relate.

I have some strategies I use to remember them all. But I know people who simply write theirs down to have any hope of remembering. Passwords stop being effective at that point.

[Roy Tucker]

http://www.cnn.com/2010/TECH/innovat...ex.html?hpt=T2

[Caveat Emperor]

http://www.cnn.com/2010/TECH/innovat...ex.html?hpt=T2

What I took from that story: There will be a substantial amount of money out there for the person who invents the next breakthrough in computer security that's simple for the end user.

[westofyou]

Friend at work says this:


Passwords are so old school. You should really be using passphrases so you eliminate dictionary attacks.

Take a lyric from your favorite Bon Jovi song:

Shot through the heart and you’re to blame

Take the first letter from each and start all lowercased:

stthaytb

Mix uppercase/lowercase/numbers:

$tthay2B

Throw in the current year at the end:

$tthay2B2010

Optionally prefix the year with a special character:

$tthay2b!2010

Every Jan 1, at a minimum, update the year and year prefix:

$tthay2b*2011

[WMR]

Blizzard has something that is on the cutting edge of account security... it's called an authenticator. You can even download it to your smart phone (or buy the little key fob sized ones they sell). After you type in your password it generates a random 8 digit number that you then type in to gain access to your account.

Something like that could probably do a better job than most traditional passwords, although Blizzard requires a PW as well for extra security.

I have the free version installed to my android phone and it works very, very well.

[marcshoe]

Friend at work says this:


Passwords are so old school. You should really be using passphrases so you eliminate dictionary attacks.

Take a lyric from your favorite Bon Jovi song:

Shot through the heart and you’re to blame

Take the first letter from each and start all lowercased:

stthaytb

Mix uppercase/lowercase/numbers:

$tthay2B

Throw in the current year at the end:

$tthay2B2010

Optionally prefix the year with a special character:

$tthay2b!2010

Every Jan 1, at a minimum, update the year and year prefix:

$tthay2b*2011

But that's not my favorite Bon Jovi Song. :

[SunDeck]

Something like that could probably do a better job than most traditional passwords, although Blizzard requires a PW as well for extra security.

The password generator requires a password? That's like looking at yourself in one of those fun house mirrors where you are reflected into infinity.

[Rojo]

I just wish that they'd remind you of the requirements on the login page. If they'd say "one cap, three letters required", I'd instanly know which password variation to use.

[westofyou]

I just wish that they'd let remind you of the requirements on the login page. If they'd say "one cap, three letters required", I'd instanly know which password variation to use.

We tend to not do that on our healthcare sites to diffuse possible phishing. generic error message at login, once past login personalized snippets.