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Thread: I Can't Stand Them Clogged Bases (song parody)

  1. #1
    Recovering Cubs Fan
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    I Can't Stand Them Clogged Bases (song parody)

    I Can't Stand Them Clogged Bases

    (to the tune of "Friends In Low Places" by Garth Brooks

    I’ll blame it on Adam Dunn
    Cause that big boy can’t run
    But he sure likes to take him a walk
    Well I came into town
    And I sat him right down
    And I said, “Buddy, we need to talk”
    “Now I know you been
    Usin’ ‘plate discipline’
    When you don’t get good pitches to hit
    Well listen here dude
    I’m in a free-swingin’ mood
    So hack if you don’t want to sit…”

    Cause I can’t stand them clogged bases
    Where the big guys walk at such slow paces
    Just swing and pray
    Then get out the way
    Now I’m not big on them fancy phrases
    Such as “work the count” and, like, “plate patience”
    Dude, I can’t stand
    Them clogged bases

    Well Dunn looked at me
    And he said, “Oh I see”
    Went over and picked up a bat
    My jaw hit the floor
    As he looked at ball four
    And walked down to first, and just sat
    So I said to Wayne
    “Dude, this guy’s a pain
    What you get for him I don’t care”
    Well the Dodgers are nuts
    Cause they took his fat butt
    For the man of my dreams, Juan Pierre…..

    Cause I can’t stand them clogged bases
    I like pitchers knowing when they face us
    We’ll swing away
    All freaking day
    Now you won’t see no more fourth places
    Long as all my players are Willie Mayses
    Dude, I can’t stand
    Them cloooooggggged baaasessssss……
    FIRE DUSTY Never mind. The man is clearly a genius.

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  3. #2
    throws 106. NBD.
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    Re: I Can't Stand Them Clogged Bases (song parody)

    Haha, nice.

  4. #3
    The Future GoReds33's Avatar
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    Re: I Can't Stand Them Clogged Bases (song parody)

    I like it. You have a few really good ones on here so far, but this is near the top.
    If you can't build a winning team with that core a fire-sale isn't the solution. Selling the franchise, moving them to Nashville and converting GABP into a used car lot is.
    -LTlabner

  5. #4
    Member
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    Re: I Can't Stand Them Clogged Bases (song parody)

    This is excellent.
    FIRE DUSTY BAKER

    ADOPT THIS SIGNATURE IN SOLIDARITY!!!

  6. #5
    I Hate Cleveland fugowitribe's Avatar
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    Re: I Can't Stand Them Clogged Bases (song parody)

    Nice.
    WE DON'T, WE DON'T, WE DON'T MESS AROUND HEY!

  7. #6
    Member SMcGavin's Avatar
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    Re: I Can't Stand Them Clogged Bases (song parody)

    Quote Originally Posted by Natty Redlocks View Post
    Now I’m not big on them fancy phrases
    Such as “work the count” and, like, “plate patience”
    My favorite part. Very well done.

  8. #7
    Member Moosie52's Avatar
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    Re: I Can't Stand Them Clogged Bases (song parody)

    See if you can work in that "beer chases" line in.


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