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Thread: We Demand Recompense by Joey Votto and Jay Bruce

  1. #1
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    We Demand Recompense by Joey Votto and Jay Bruce

    From Flotsam Media:

    To Whom It May Concern:

    We, the undersigned, are writing to file a complaint regarding our supervisor. This is not a matter of unprofessional behavior or sexual harassment, the weird peeping incident in the shower notwithstanding.

    We are lodging a complaint because our immediate supervisor is -- in technical terms -- a dip****.

    Johnnie "Dusty" Baker was hired to manage our local baseball team. We were open to the idea at the time. We were, apparently, also high on mescaline.

    Let's get this straight right away: We're immensely talented individuals. We're very good at baseball. Jay was recently named the No. 1 prospect in all of baseball, and is coming off a season where he recorded a .925 OPS at Triple-A, at the age of 20. That's, like, outstanding. Joey put up a .908 OPS at the Major League level last season, at age 23. Admirable, at the very worst.

    However, Dusty has recently said the following things, as documented by various media publications:

    When Baker was asked who would hit leadoff when Ryan Freel and Norris Hopper aren’t playing, he said: "I hope one or the other is in the game."

    “Yeah,” Baker said, “but what if you say, ‘Go play, kid,’ and he’s not ready to play winning baseball? Is it OK to overlook that? I don’t know."

    "It's no secret that [Bruce] is a star of the future," Baker said. "He could be a star of the present, who knows? I'm very impressed talking with him, but there's more to baseball than just hitting, too."


    He keeps talking in practice about how much he likes Norris Hopper in center field. That's Jay's position. But Dusty seems to prefer Norris, who is this lanky guy who has one home run in 342 career at-bats. Basically, he slugs like Elton John. And Dusty wants to start him over uber-phenom-studmuffin, Jay Bruce. Baker keeps saying that Jay chose the "earning business," so he has to earn what he gets. He says that about playing time, the Gatorade jug and the bathroom. Seriously. The other day he made Jay do 60 pushups before he could use a urinal. Mike Stanton got to walk right in and pee. It's not fair.

    Furthermore, he keeps calling Joey "Jessie" and only lets him take batting practice off a tee, with a Nerf ball.

    Everyone on the team under age 30 is terrified. Johnny Cueto says he doesn't sleep at night. Homer Bailey has already scheduled an appointment with Dr. James Andrews for August. Once, Brandon Phillips went into Dusty's office and Dusty had 15 candles lit and John Lee Hooker playing on the stereo. Dusty started asking Brandon if he liked large-mouth bass fishing, and Brandon's pretty sure that Dusty was trying to seduce him.

    The man even stands on top of a scaffolding during practice, and he wears creepy sunglasses, even when it's cloudy. Also, why the **** does he have wristbands on?

    Yesterday, Jay was taking some simulated at-bats off Gary Majewski and drew a walk. Dusty spit out his toothpick, stormed over and told Jay that "Walking is for dogs, not baseball players." Then he made Jay sit out in left field with a dog collar around his neck and told him that Hank Aaron never took a walk.

    We checked, and Hank Aaron walked 1,402 times in his career. But Dusty said numbers are like trout: everyone has a few lying around somewhere, and it doesn't mean you're special. We don't know what that means.

    Monday, Homer was throwing on the side for a workout, and Dusty watched for about six pitches, and then told Homer he'd come back and tell him when to stop. Dusty never came back, and Homer ended up throwing 483 pitches. Dusty later said that Juan Marichal would throw that many pitches in the morning, then go out later in the day and throw another 200, and still have enough energy to hit Johnny Roseboro in the head with his bat. Who is Johnny Roseboro?

    So, please. We beg you. For the sake of our careers, our lives, the City of Cincinnati, the career of Wayne Krivsky, the sanity of Adam Dunn. Please. Do something to get this man out of power. If he is not removed from his managerial position by March 1, we will be forced to move to Japan and resume our professional careers there. We hear Fukuoka is lovely this time of year.

    You have 24 hours.


    Best regards,

    Jay Bruce and Joey Votto

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  3. #2
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    Re: We Demand Recompense by Joey Votto and Jay Bruce

    Is anybody else worried that the Hamilton deal wasnt a good idea now? If Dusty wont play Bruce, whats the point of moving the Natural? Hamilton is already 3-6 with 3 RBI a 2B a 3b and a R.

    I dont know, maybe my heart is torn between my favorite NL and Al teams trading with each other...

    God i hope Eddy V is light out in the NL...

  4. #3
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    Re: We Demand Recompense by Joey Votto and Jay Bruce

    that was pretty funny!

    i think the trade will work out, and hopefully for both teams. remember, hamilton hit over .400 last spring too. he's a great player, but we had a surplus of outfielders, and we added a very nice arm to the rotation. i think EV will have a breakout year this year!.. and i hope josh plays well too
    "I hate SF."

    -Mat Latos

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    Re: We Demand Recompense by Joey Votto and Jay Bruce

    wish it would have been for dunn not hamilton.. dunn and maloney for volquez woulda been a better trade..

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    Re: We Demand Recompense by Joey Votto and Jay Bruce

    trading dunn would have been just plain stupid for EV

  7. #6
    I'm gettin paper Homer Bailey's Avatar
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    Re: We Demand Recompense by Joey Votto and Jay Bruce

    Please tell me this is a joke.... Did this stuff really happen? Did Baker really say this stuff?

  8. #7
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    Re: We Demand Recompense by Joey Votto and Jay Bruce

    I cant believe I wasted my time reading this, or that someone wasted their time writing it. I am also worried now again about the Hammy trade, hated it at first, warmed up to it and kept an open mind, knowing I dont know anything about Volquez. However, now I am concerend again, esp reading possibilities that he may end up in the pen-only speculation of course from a few, as everyone is speculating at this point with all but the top 2, but would hate to give a talent such as Josh's for a BP guy, no matter how good he may be, I dont like trading pure everyday talent for BP help. Guess its a wait and see what happens deal though, hope it works out for us.

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    Member wlf WV's Avatar
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    Re: We Demand Recompense by Joey Votto and Jay Bruce

    Hamilton has 3 of Rangers 9 RBIs,batting .500. He drove in winning runs in first exibition game, working on regaining base running instincts.

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    Re: We Demand Recompense by Joey Votto and Jay Bruce

    I think he just pulled a finger nail also

  11. #10
    Member wlf WV's Avatar
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    Re: We Demand Recompense by Joey Votto and Jay Bruce

    Just in ,only a hangnail.

  12. #11
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    Re: We Demand Recompense by Joey Votto and Jay Bruce

    Quote Originally Posted by wlf WV View Post
    Just in ,only a hangnail.
    So hes out for how many weeks? Sounds more like a lingering day to day thing though.

  13. #12
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    Re: We Demand Recompense by Joey Votto and Jay Bruce

    Quote Originally Posted by Bip Roberts View Post
    So hes out for how many weeks? Sounds more like a lingering day to day thing though.
    Only time will tell.

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    Re: We Demand Recompense by Joey Votto and Jay Bruce

    Quote Originally Posted by wlf WV View Post
    Only time will tell.

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    Re: We Demand Recompense by Joey Votto and Jay Bruce

    If both Votto and Bruce aren't ready to take MLB by storm, they should both be in AAA.

    It has nothing to do with whether they're the best player at the position in camp or not. It has everything to do with contracts. We have them for 6 years. Why waste one of those years if we don't have a good shot at the postseason?

    In 2009 you can have Votto, Bruce, Bailey, Cueto, Valquez, and Maloney all ready to play. Wait until then, and you can have that group together until 2015.

    A year of Jay Bruce at 26 years old is worth more than a year of Jay Bruce at 20 years old, no matter how you slice it.

  16. #15
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    Re: We Demand Recompense by Joey Votto and Jay Bruce

    Yeah, but the Reds have a chance to win in 2008, and Bruce and Votto help the team the most. We won't have Harang/Arroyo/Cordero/BP/EE/Dunn/etc in 2015, and the team could suck, we just don't know.

    We do know that the Reds have a reasonable chance in 2008, and in the near future. If your one of those people who think rookies will struggle and need to adjust, why not get it out of the way instead of prolonging it.

    Teams should always field the best possible team when in contention like the Reds are right now.


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