Fatherhood...

[WMR]

That's already taken care of.

Good deal. Congrats.

[TeamSelig]

That is pretty wild. Glad its yours and not some random guy who won't be there for him. I'm not sure that I could last on something like that... I need 9 months to prepare

[dfs]

congrats.

Enjoy every moment. I know that sounds crazy, but enjoy every moment.

[Sea Ray]

In what seems to be a string of never-ending new occurrences in my life, I found out this past week that I have a 2 month old son. I got to see him last night for the first time. I never knew it was possible to love someone you just met so much. I'm excited, and looking forward to the lifelong adventure that is fatherhood. We don't have the most conventional situation, but I'm sure it will work out. My fiancee and my ex seemed to hit it off pretty well. They were like two old friends, which was a bit creepy for me, but also kinda nice. I also really like her new boyfriend, and he's great with my son. We've decided to do everything jointly, a little functioning dysfunctional family with four parents who all love little CJ very much. He's the most beautiful baby I've ever seen...

Seeing your baby for the first time is the greatest feeling! I think it's great you've got such a positive outlook on the whole thing. Try to keep that spirit going as long as possible because as you know, you've got enormous challenges and responsibilities ahead. I take it this new boyfriend knew all along CJ wasn't his?

Right now he has 4 loving parents, none of whom are married. Hopefully you and your fiancee will live happily ever after but you've got no idea what CJ's mother will do in the next 18 yrs. Will you like boyfriend #11 or 12 as well as you like this one? What if she wants to move to a place 1000 miles away? You get the idea. You're completely out of control. Keep this all in mind as you try to do what's best as CJ's father and try to draw on this positive energy you're feeling now.

[rotnoid]

Congrats man. Enjoy the happy times, learn from the sad ones. Being a dad is the best thing you'll ever do.

[savafan]

Right now he has 4 loving parents, none of whom are married. Hopefully you and your fiancee will live happily ever after but you've got no idea what CJ's mother will do in the next 18 yrs. Will you like boyfriend #11 or 12 as well as you like this one? What if she wants to move to a place 1000 miles away? You get the idea. You're completely out of control. Keep this all in mind as you try to do what's best as CJ's father and try to draw on this positive energy you're feeling now.

This is true, but her boyfriend did propose to her this past weekend, and now they're engaged as well, so hopefully this will turn out to have one of those rare fairy tale endings.

[SunDeck]

Sava,
It's complicated, but I'm sure you folks will work this all out. The kid is lucky to have a bunch of caring and unselfish parents around. And although this is probably not the way you envisioned #1 coming along, I am sure you will be a great dad.

Best wishes to you and, well...everyone.

[sonny]

Wow, what a story! Quick question, why did she wait 2 months to tell you?

[George Foster]

Everything is great now but you need to go to court and get visitation rights. YOU NEED JOINT CUSTODY. It needs to be in writing. I know you don't want to rock the boat but you really need to do this. You all could have a disagreement and POW......you don't get to see the baby anymore.

Child support is very fluid with most judges. The amount can be based upon weather the mother moves away. The judge can also state that the mother cannot move away IF THERE IS JOINT CUSTODY.

I cannot think of anything worse than having a child that I can see any time I wanted then have them move away and I get to see it twice a year. It would devastate you and the relationship with your child.

You need to protect this relationship with your child. I know this sounds harsh, but the mother has already betrade your trust once. I could not trust her again. Get joint custody. If you are a responsible person, with no history of crime, most courts will give you joint custody. This may rock the boat, but your child is depending on you to do the right thing and protect your relationship.

My father-in-law was married and had a son before he married his current wife, the mother of my wife. They divorced when his son was a baby. After he re-married, the visitation grew less frequent. They have no relationship today. It haunts my father-in-law. I know he thinks about it all the time. You don't get "do -overs" in life. Do it right the first time. Go to court, get it in writing. Your son deserves this, and you do too.

[savafan]

Wow, what a story! Quick question, why did she wait 2 months to tell you?

I had moved, and she didn't know how to get a hold of me. She had tried to find me, but I didn't make it easy. I used to live close to two hours away, but now it's more like 15 minutes.