Ethel was a bit of a demon in a wheelchair, and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed in the long corridors.
Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerated her, and some actually joined in.
One day Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. 'STOP' he shouted in a firm voice. 'Have you got a driver's license?'
Ethel fished around in her handbag, pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up. 'OK' he said, and Ethel sped down the hall.
As she took the corner to the TV lounge on one wheel, weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted 'STOP'. Have you got proof of insurance?
Again Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster and held it up. Harold nodded and said 'On your way Ma'am'.
As Ethel neared the final corridor, crazy Craig stepped out on front of her butt naked, holding his you-know-what in his hand.
"Oh good grief yelled Ethel, Not that damn breathalyzer again!"
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