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Thread: In search of some uplifting words.

  1. #31
    Moderator Tommyjohn25's Avatar
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    Re: In search of some uplifting words.

    Quote Originally Posted by bucksfan2 View Post
    TJ I hope everything works out with you. I know how hard it can be to work in a family business and feel the responsibility towards you father. Just be frank with your dad. I am sure he would understand. Also get out of that room. Enjoy the outdoors, hit up a gym, find a group you can hang out with. It is kind of reiterating what everyone else has said but good luck.

    Thanks Bucksfan. Yeah, at this point the gym is really my only escape. I do go there 5 days a week, so that does get me out which is nice. I may try to hit up a softball league. I'm so used to playing on like three teams every year, so i really miss it. Also that would be a good way to meet some good people.
    Benzinger backing and calling! And the 1990 world championship series belongs to the Cincinnati Reds!

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  3. #32
    Moderator Tommyjohn25's Avatar
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    Re: In search of some uplifting words.

    Well...it felt GREAT to be home for a week. I got to spend some time with my lady, got to see most of my friends, and got to "talk" a lot of things out, which was fantastic. I also saw my old boss who offered me a very enticing package to come back...so that was awesome. Now on my first day back my Dad sits me down in his office and drops the bomb...."Can you continue to give 100% to being here? Or are you really unhappy?" I knew it was only a matter of time before he could see right through my "happy" front that I've been putting on for a couple months. I gave him my honest answer, which took about 7 hours. In short, I told him that I am indeed unhappy and that I want to go home, however, I refuse to bail out leave him twisting in the wind. I think when I told him that, he realized that this franchise just isn't going to work. He admitted to not having his heart completely in it as well, as my brother did a few minutes later. Sadly this revelation, while necessary, is heartbreaking since my Dad had such high hopes and the spirit of it was so well-intentioned.

    So now I guess I feel better personally, since it's all out on the table now. However, my heart breaks for my Dad. I'm not sure he'll ever really recover from the disasterous last year and a half.
    Benzinger backing and calling! And the 1990 world championship series belongs to the Cincinnati Reds!

  4. #33
    The Future GoReds33's Avatar
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    Re: In search of some uplifting words.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tommyjohn25 View Post
    Well...it felt GREAT to be home for a week. I got to spend some time with my lady, got to see most of my friends, and got to "talk" a lot of things out, which was fantastic. I also saw my old boss who offered me a very enticing package to come back...so that was awesome. Now on my first day back my Dad sits me down in his office and drops the bomb...."Can you continue to give 100% to being here? Or are you really unhappy?" I knew it was only a matter of time before he could see right through my "happy" front that I've been putting on for a couple months. I gave him my honest answer, which took about 7 hours. In short, I told him that I am indeed unhappy and that I want to go home, however, I refuse to bail out leave him twisting in the wind. I think when I told him that, he realized that this franchise just isn't going to work. He admitted to not having his heart completely in it as well, as my brother did a few minutes later. Sadly this revelation, while necessary, is heartbreaking since my Dad had such high hopes and the spirit of it was so well-intentioned.

    So now I guess I feel better personally, since it's all out on the table now. However, my heart breaks for my Dad. I'm not sure he'll ever really recover from the disasterous last year and a half.
    It's great that you got this off your chest. I hope that you feel better. As for your father, if he admitted not being fully invested emotionally in it, you shouldn't feel guilty. From what you wrote, it seems that none of you were happy. I hope that you can find something to do that would help your father, such as starting a business close to home.

  5. #34
    Moderator Tommyjohn25's Avatar
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    Re: In search of some uplifting words.

    Quote Originally Posted by GoReds33 View Post
    It's great that you got this off your chest. I hope that you feel better. As for your father, if he admitted not being fully invested emotionally in it, you shouldn't feel guilty. From what you wrote, it seems that none of you were happy. I hope that you can find something to do that would help your father, such as starting a business close to home.
    Thanks for the response. You are 100% correct that it wasn't going to work out if our hearts aren't in it, and they aren't. My Dad said today that this whole thing was just a horrible mistake, I gave him the old cliche about hindsight, but he's kinda right. I don't see anything positive that came from this, sadly.
    Benzinger backing and calling! And the 1990 world championship series belongs to the Cincinnati Reds!

  6. #35
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    Re: In search of some uplifting words.

    Another update:

    I just got off the phone with my old boss (the one who gave me an offer last week) and after talking it over with my Dad, and sleeping on it for a few nights, I took it. I am going to stick it out with my Dad for three more months while he tries to sell this thing, if it sells sooner then great. I can't help but feel some sense of guilt by doing this, although I know in my heart that this is what will make me happy. This will also give me the chance to have a safe, well-paying job that I can support myself and my future family on. Was the potential here in Carolina better? Yes. But it just doesn't seem like it is meant to be. At some point, I suppose, you have to take care of YOU.
    Benzinger backing and calling! And the 1990 world championship series belongs to the Cincinnati Reds!

  7. #36
    Score Early, Score Often gonelong's Avatar
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    Re: In search of some uplifting words.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tommyjohn25 View Post
    Thanks for the response. You are 100% correct that it wasn't going to work out if our hearts aren't in it, and they aren't. My Dad said today that this whole thing was just a horrible mistake, I gave him the old cliche about hindsight, but he's kinda right. I don't see anything positive that came from this, sadly.
    You took your shot. You won't have to look back and wonder what might have been.

    It don't always work out and most people are too damn scared to even try. You had the courage to try and probably found out a few things about yourself.

    GL

  8. #37
    He has the Evil Eye! flyer85's Avatar
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    Re: In search of some uplifting words.

    Quote Originally Posted by gonelong View Post
    You took your shot. You won't have to look back and wonder what might have been.

    It don't always work out and most people are too damn scared to even try. You had the courage to try and probably found out a few things about yourself.

    GL
    also seemed to clarify things in your life ... while it may not have been an enjoyable experience.
    What are you, people? On dope? - Mr Hand

  9. #38
    Moderator Tommyjohn25's Avatar
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    Re: In search of some uplifting words.

    Quote Originally Posted by gonelong View Post
    You took your shot. You won't have to look back and wonder what might have been.

    It don't always work out and most people are too damn scared to even try. You had the courage to try and probably found out a few things about yourself.

    GL
    Quote Originally Posted by flyer85 View Post
    also seemed to clarify things in your life ... while it may not have been an enjoyable experience.
    You know what? You two are absolutely right. As this continues to sink in with me, I am realizing these things. Thank you both.

    This is why this site is my homepage.
    Benzinger backing and calling! And the 1990 world championship series belongs to the Cincinnati Reds!

  10. #39
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    Re: In search of some uplifting words.

    Sir:

    Since you have made the decision to return, I guess my advice is more directed to your father.

    There is a bit of freedom on having your back against the wall financially... creditors, while not sympathetic, are forced to be realists concerning your plight. This gives you more than a nominal amount of leverage in negotiations. I know it sounds like throwing good money after bad, but I would get to a pro in this field and see what they can offer. For example, I assume one of the major bills is the financing for the franchise purchase itself? Is the seller also your creditor? Franchises are flighty things... dropping to no value at all overnight. Perhaps a creditor would rather receive significantly reduced payments then receive a valueless franchise through bankruptcy proceedings.

    This is not my field, so please take what I am saying with a grain of salt... but after 15 years as an attorney, I can tell you that the most common mistake is folks in your father's situation wait too long to get help... It's so much easier to pull folks out of a hole when they have not spent too long continually digging it deeper.

    Good luck on your return, and if this experience helps you make the right decision on your future life with your girlfriend... then i believe it will turn out to be tears, pain and time well spent.

    Rich

  11. #40
    Member Sea Ray's Avatar
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    Re: In search of some uplifting words.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tommyjohn25 View Post
    Another update:

    I just got off the phone with my old boss (the one who gave me an offer last week) and after talking it over with my Dad, and sleeping on it for a few nights, I took it. I am going to stick it out with my Dad for three more months while he tries to sell this thing, if it sells sooner then great.
    That sounds like a very fair solution. This puts a timetable on the whole thing and gives your Dad time to "do what he's gotta do." Nice that your employer back home is willing to wait 3 months. This way you're not abandoning your Dad and you have an end-game in sight. Glad to see it worked out, one way or another, in the end.

    There's no telling that a better buyer will come along after 3 months. I think 3 mos should be enough time to fish or cut bait with this business

  12. #41
    Moderator Tommyjohn25's Avatar
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    Re: In search of some uplifting words.

    Update: I moved home today...what an incredible weight lifted off my shoulders, unbelievable feeling really. The business still hasn't sold so I felt terrible for my Dad this morning when I left, he wants to come home so badly and by me leaving, he lost his "buddy". I really had no choice though, the three month timetable set by my boss here is up, and I had to take the job. I guess now I ask you all who kept me in your thoughts (a huge thank you again to all of you) to now direct your thoughts to my Father, and that the business will sell in a timely manner so he too can return home and feel the sense of relief I am feeling right now.

    Thank you all again.
    Benzinger backing and calling! And the 1990 world championship series belongs to the Cincinnati Reds!

  13. #42
    Member Jpup's Avatar
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    Re: In search of some uplifting words.

    Read Joel Osteen's "Your Best Life Now". It changed my life.
    "My mission is to be the ray of hope, the guy who stands out there on that beautiful field and owns up to his mistakes and lets people know it's never completely hopeless, no matter how bad it seems at the time. I have a platform and a message, and now I go to bed at night, sober and happy, praying I can be a good messenger." -Josh Hamilton


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