Turn Off Ads?
Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 16 to 30 of 42

Thread: In search of some uplifting words.

  1. #16
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Posts
    3,736

    Re: In search of some uplifting words.

    If anything, take a few days off and go visit your girl. It will rejuvenate you a little to keep you going.

  2. Turn Off Ads?
  3. #17
    Rally Onion! Chip R's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2000
    Location
    Cincinnati, OH
    Posts
    34,346

    Re: In search of some uplifting words.

    What everybody else said.

    You sound like you may be going through a mild case of depression too. You may want to nip that in the bud. Just coming back to your GF may not cure that. Good luck!
    The Rally Onion wants 150 fans before Opening Day.

    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Rally-...24872650873160

  4. #18
    Moderator Tommyjohn25's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Fairborn, OH
    Posts
    1,848

    Re: In search of some uplifting words.

    Quote Originally Posted by TeamSelig View Post
    If anything, take a few days off and go visit your girl. It will rejuvenate you a little to keep you going.
    Yeah, I actually have that scheduled. I leave next week and I get to come home for six days! Should do me a world of good, and as you said, recharge my batteries a bit. Thanks bud!

    Quote Originally Posted by Chip R View Post
    What everybody else said.

    You sound like you may be going through a mild case of depression too. You may want to nip that in the bud. Just coming back to your GF may not cure that. Good luck!
    Yeah that thought has crossed my mind, I don't doubt I'm depressed. However i feel that is directly related to my situation and not the "medical" kind of depressed. I don't really know of any way to know for sure though, unfortunately. I guess I'll see how I feel after I come home next week. Thanks for the well wishes, Chip.
    Benzinger backing and calling! And the 1990 world championship series belongs to the Cincinnati Reds!

  5. #19
    The Future GoReds33's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Cincinnati, Ohio
    Posts
    2,463

    Re: In search of some uplifting words.

    Quote Originally Posted by TeamSelig View Post
    If anything, take a few days off and go visit your girl. It will rejuvenate you a little to keep you going.
    That's a very good idea. Go have some fun, and share with her what you have shared with us. I'm sure you have probably told her that it is sad going away, but in your writing it seemed like this was the first time you have gone this deep. Visit her, tell her, and discuss it. I'd be very intrested to see how you feel then.

    Good luck.

  6. #20
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Posts
    3,736

    Re: In search of some uplifting words.

    Yep. Not to mention, she will probably have great advice for you too. Maybe part of your problem is that you feel like you are betraying her by doing this? If she encourages you to keep going, that might be all you need to continue. Then again, maybe she will help you come home.

  7. #21
    Moderator Tommyjohn25's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Fairborn, OH
    Posts
    1,848

    Re: In search of some uplifting words.

    Quote Originally Posted by GoReds33 View Post
    That's a very good idea. Go have some fun, and share with her what you have shared with us. I'm sure you have probably told her that it is sad going away, but in your writing it seemed like this was the first time you have gone this deep. Visit her, tell her, and discuss it. I'd be very intrested to see how you feel then.

    Good luck.
    Thanks for the response. She has received a couple phone calls from me in the last few months when I was having one of my "bad days". I'm pretty sure she isn't aware that those "bad days" are quickly becoming the norm, however. At first I didn't want to sound weak by telling her, but I don't think I have much choice anymore.

    Quote Originally Posted by TeamSelig View Post
    Yep. Not to mention, she will probably have great advice for you too. Maybe part of your problem is that you feel like you are betraying her by doing this? If she encourages you to keep going, that might be all you need to continue. Then again, maybe she will help you come home.
    Yeah. I don't really feel a sense of "betrayal" per se...she has been nothing but supportive throughout this entire process. However, I'm not sure how she feels about me coming home. I'm sure she would love to have me back, but on the other side of the coin I know she wants our business to work. I'm gonna get a lot off my chest when I go next week. Stay tuned...
    Benzinger backing and calling! And the 1990 world championship series belongs to the Cincinnati Reds!

  8. #22
    Mon chou Choo vaticanplum's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Pittsburgh
    Posts
    7,182

    Re: In search of some uplifting words.

    TJ, I can't tell you what to do long-term, but as long as you're down there, get out of your little room. You can meet people. They won't be your friends from home, but it's important for you to get out and keep yourself busy/distracted. Things will not get better by staring at the TV.

    You'd be surprised how many free things there are to do out there to entertain you if you look for them. Get a book from the library and go to the park to read it. Find a bar that sells cheap domestic beer (or soda) and go when there's a baseball game on TV. I don't think I've ever in my life gone to a bar to watch a game and not talked to somebody at some point. And it doesn't mean that will be a close friendship or anything like that -- but social interaction even for an hour is important when you're in this state. And most places have a lot of cheap/free stuff to do in the summer -- check your local paper.

    Chin up, TJ. Bad times suck but they make you appreciate the good times when they come around again (and they will, in six weeks or six months or six years). Be honest with yourself and to the people who love you, be good to yourself and to the people who love you, and best of luck with your decisions.
    There is no such thing as a pitching prospect.

  9. #23
    Stat Wanker Hodiernus RedsManRick's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Chicago, IL
    Posts
    15,922

    Re: In search of some uplifting words.

    Quote Originally Posted by George Foster View Post
    I would sit down with your dad and tell him how you feel. He must feel horrible guilt for talking you into moving. It might be a huge relief to him if you actually moved back. Communication with your dad and brothers is critical. This is your family, it's all you got. Tell them how you feel, and that you love each and everyone of them, but you got to move back. They will understand. Pull the trigger. You are in my prayers, good luck.
    I agree with this 100%. I often battle similar issues with depression/despair. I've grown to recognize that the key sign something is wrong is that I pull away from everybody -- I forget that the people around me want to help and want me to be happy.

    I'm sure that as much as your dad loves having you around, loves having your help, the last thing he wants is to feel that both is business and his son's happiness are going down the tubes.

    Do what you can to help, but don't put it on your shoulders. Get the support you need from family and friends. You can't help them if you don't let them help you.

    --edit--
    After reading your 2nd post, you've made it clear that the reality is you can't leave without the business going under. I think you have 3 options:
    1.) Find a way to make the business successful. Maybe you can find a local MBA student to adopt your business and provide guidance.
    2.) Try and tread water until you sell it.
    3.) Give up and close shop.

    I wonder how you the franchise works? Do you (your dad) have personal liability? What happens if you walk away? (who do you owe money to?) Can you declare bankruptcy?

    Above all, bottom line advice, realize that beyond a roof and food, no material possessions can make up for despair. It's simply not worth it. Can you work enough back home to help offset the losses your dad would take if you closed up shop? Explore all of your options, but don't be content to go down with the ship. Find a way out together.
    Last edited by RedsManRick; 06-12-2008 at 06:31 PM.
    Games are won on run differential -- scoring more than your opponent. Runs are runs, scored or prevented they all count the same. Worry about scoring more and allowing fewer, not which positions contribute to which side of the equation or how "consistent" you are at your current level of performance.

  10. #24
    Moderator Tommyjohn25's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Fairborn, OH
    Posts
    1,848

    Re: In search of some uplifting words.

    Quote Originally Posted by vaticanplum View Post
    TJ, I can't tell you what to do long-term, but as long as you're down there, get out of your little room. You can meet people. They won't be your friends from home, but it's important for you to get out and keep yourself busy/distracted. Things will not get better by staring at the TV.

    You'd be surprised how many free things there are to do out there to entertain you if you look for them. Get a book from the library and go to the park to read it. Find a bar that sells cheap domestic beer (or soda) and go when there's a baseball game on TV. I don't think I've ever in my life gone to a bar to watch a game and not talked to somebody at some point. And it doesn't mean that will be a close friendship or anything like that -- but social interaction even for an hour is important when you're in this state. And most places have a lot of cheap/free stuff to do in the summer -- check your local paper.

    Chin up, TJ. Bad times suck but they make you appreciate the good times when they come around again (and they will, in six weeks or six months or six years). Be honest with yourself and to the people who love you, be good to yourself and to the people who love you, and best of luck with your decisions.
    Thank you for the encouraging words Vatican. That is very sound advice. I do realize at some point I need to just get out of my room and make an effort. If for no other reason, for my own sanity. I think in my own mind, at least the way my mind is working right now, doing that is accepting this hell I've found myself in. Believe me, I know how ridiculous that sounds, and I need to get over that. I'm not making things any easier on myself with whatever time I am forced to stay here, that's for sure.


    Quote Originally Posted by RedsManRick View Post
    I agree with this 100%. I often battle similar issues with depression/despair. I've grown to recognize that the key sign something is wrong is that I pull away from everybody -- I forget that the people around me want to help and want me to be happy.

    I'm sure that as much as your dad loves having you around, loves having your help, the last thing he wants is to feel that both is business and his son's happiness are going down the tubes.

    Do what you can to help, but don't put it on your shoulders. Get the support you need from family and friends. You can't help them if you don't let them help you.

    --edit--
    After reading your 2nd post, you've made it clear that the reality is you can't leave without the business going under. I think you have 3 options:
    1.) Find a way to make the business successful. Maybe you can find a local MBA student to adopt your business and provide guidance.
    2.) Try and tread water until you sell it.
    3.) Give up and close shop.

    I wonder how you the franchise works? Do you (your dad) have personal liability? What happens if you walk away? (who do you owe money to?) Can you declare bankruptcy?

    Above all, bottom line advice, realize that beyond a roof and food, no material possessions can make up for despair. It's simply not worth it. Can you work enough back home to help offset the losses your dad would take if you closed up shop? Explore all of your options, but don't be content to go down with the ship. Find a way out together.
    Thanks for the response RMR. To be honest with you, I'm not sure what level of liability we are held to, or who we would owe money to if we just gave up. I will have to ask my Dad that question when he gets back in town.

    I would say that option 1 you listed is pretty much out of the question at this point. We have been provided with help and guidance from corporate trainers (that get a bonus if we do well) and have followed their advice verbatim, with minimal to no success. I think the harsh reality is we just got a dud of a territory, and we have become victims of circumstance. That leaves us with options 2 and 3. 2 is what we've been doing for the last few months, just treading water hoping we sell. That option will soon be extinct as well, as my Dad continues to hemmorage money from his retirement to pay our bills, I honestly have no idea how much longer he is willing to do that. Option 3 is what I'm going to have to inquire about. I have been curious lately what the consequences would be if we just said, "that's it, we're done". I think that is a important question to ask my Dad.

    Thanks again RMR.
    Benzinger backing and calling! And the 1990 world championship series belongs to the Cincinnati Reds!

  11. #25
    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
    Location
    Bellefontaine, Ohio
    Posts
    26,663

    Re: In search of some uplifting words.

    You gave it a valient shot TJ. It seems you crossed all your "T's" and dotted every "I" before leaving too.

    But you did something that many people in our society don't do.... and IMO, the reason they don't is mainly because of a self doubt and the fear of failure. And then they have to always look back and say "what if?"

    You took that step to try and better yourself. And your GF also understood that too.

    OK. It didn't work out as planned. There is nothing to be ashamed about, or to hang your head over. And no looking back and wondering.

    Nope. IMO, there is no shame in failure. The greater shame is not making the effort.

    You're in my prayers buddy.
    "panic" only comes from having real expectations

  12. #26
    Be the ball Roy Tucker's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2001
    Location
    Mason, OH
    Posts
    12,050

    Re: In search of some uplifting words.

    TJ, you've gotten some pretty sound advice in here so I don't really have much more to offer there.

    But one thing I will say is be proud of yourself for giving an effort like this your all. I've been in a situation fairly similar (software startup that eventually went under) and I know how all-consuming this can be. Be proud of the fact that you took on a very challenging and daring situation and gave it everything you had.

    It may not seem like it now, but further on down your path, this experience will pay off in spades. You may be licking your wounds now, but you are a better and stronger person for experiencing it.

    I've got this quote from a speech from Teddy Roosevelt framed and hanging on my wall. It's called "Man in the Arena".

    It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

    Pay attention to the open sky

  13. #27
    Moderator Tommyjohn25's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Fairborn, OH
    Posts
    1,848

    Re: In search of some uplifting words.

    Quote Originally Posted by GAC View Post
    You gave it a valient shot TJ. It seems you crossed all your "T's" and dotted every "I" before leaving too.

    But you did something that many people in our society don't do.... and IMO, the reason they don't is mainly because of a self doubt and the fear of failure. And then they have to always look back and say "what if?"

    You took that step to try and better yourself. And your GF also understood that too.

    OK. It didn't work out as planned. There is nothing to be ashamed about, or to hang your head over. And no looking back and wondering.

    Nope. IMO, there is no shame in failure. The greater shame is not making the effort.

    You're in my prayers buddy.
    Thanks a ton, GAC. It's people like you who are an inspiration. People who face life changing hardships (your house fire) and maintain a seemingly unwavering positive outlook and keep everything in perspective.

    You are absolutely right about the effort, we did give it our all. I think as someone else mentioned, it was poor timing. I am one who truly believes that everything happens for a reason, and I can't help but feel with the way things have gone, that there is a higher power screaming "GET OUT! DON'T DO IT! CUT YOUR LOSSES AND JUST GO HOME!" I think for me now, having accepted that, is a fear of the unknown. How long will it be before we get a buyer? How long do I have to waste time away from my girl before I get to go back to her? I like to see what's in front of me, be it bad or good. This is one of the first times that I'm flying in the blind.


    Quote Originally Posted by Roy Tucker View Post
    TJ, you've gotten some pretty sound advice in here so I don't really have much more to offer there.

    But one thing I will say is be proud of yourself for giving an effort like this your all. I've been in a situation fairly similar (software startup that eventually went under) and I know how all-consuming this can be. Be proud of the fact that you took on a very challenging and daring situation and gave it everything you had.

    It may not seem like it now, but further on down your path, this experience will pay off in spades. You may be licking your wounds now, but you are a better and stronger person for experiencing it.

    I've got this quote from a speech from Teddy Roosevelt framed and hanging on my wall. It's called "Man in the Arena".

    Thanks Roy! The responses in this thread have helped me out alot, I mean that. It's just tough out there right now, but I do know in my heart of hearts that I will be a better man for it. You are right on about it being "all consuming", great choice of words there. It will eat you from the inside out if you let it. I'm trying to prevent that now, and your words, and the words of all the others are helping me along the way. I can't wait to get home next week, six days...it's gonna be heaven.

    By the way. That is a fantastic quote you posted from Roosevelt.
    Benzinger backing and calling! And the 1990 world championship series belongs to the Cincinnati Reds!

  14. #28
    He has the Evil Eye! flyer85's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    south of the border
    Posts
    23,858

    Re: In search of some uplifting words.

    whatever you decide to do, MARRY THE GIRL.
    What are you, people? On dope? - Mr Hand

  15. #29
    Moderator Tommyjohn25's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Fairborn, OH
    Posts
    1,848

    Re: In search of some uplifting words.

    Quote Originally Posted by flyer85 View Post
    whatever you decide to do, MARRY THE GIRL.
    LOL! Yeah...almost 7 years. I suppose it's about that time huh? We were actually starting to plan it before this whole thing started, then decided to wait until we lived in the same state to proceed. We've lived together pretty much since day 1 of our relationship, are completely compatible, and know everything about each other. I think I can recall 2 arguments we've ever had, and those were over within 10 minutes. So really at this point, to both of us, a ring is just a formality. However, it is an important formality, and it's something I want to get done when this situation is resolved.
    Benzinger backing and calling! And the 1990 world championship series belongs to the Cincinnati Reds!

  16. #30
    Waitin til next year bucksfan2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Cincinnati
    Posts
    10,125

    Re: In search of some uplifting words.

    TJ I hope everything works out with you. I know how hard it can be to work in a family business and feel the responsibility towards you father. Just be frank with your dad. I am sure he would understand. Also get out of that room. Enjoy the outdoors, hit up a gym, find a group you can hang out with. It is kind of reiterating what everyone else has said but good luck.


Turn Off Ads?

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Board Moderators may, at their discretion and judgment, delete and/or edit any messages that violate any of the following guidelines: 1. Explicit references to alleged illegal or unlawful acts. 2. Graphic sexual descriptions. 3. Racial or ethnic slurs. 4. Use of edgy language (including masked profanity). 5. Direct personal attacks, flames, fights, trolling, baiting, name-calling, general nuisance, excessive player criticism or anything along those lines. 6. Posting spam. 7. Each person may have only one user account. It is fine to be critical here - that's what this board is for. But let's not beat a subject or a player to death, please.

Thank you, and most importantly, enjoy yourselves!


RedsZone.com is a privately owned website and is not affiliated with the Cincinnati Reds or Major League Baseball


Contact us: Boss | GIK | BCubb2003 | dabvu2498 | Gallen5862 | LexRedsFan | Plus Plus | RedlegJake | redsfan1995 | The Operator | Tommyjohn25