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Thread: Beer goggles are real

  1. #16
    Senor Votto Degenerate39's Avatar
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    Re: Beer goggles are real

    Quote Originally Posted by FutureRedsGM View Post
    I would need a 0-100 scale. Rosanne would come in around 30.
    I'd end up with alcohol poisoning first
    Last edited by Degenerate39; 10-09-2008 at 12:01 PM.
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  3. #17
    Moderator RedlegJake's Avatar
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    Re: Beer goggles are real

    Wow, at my age the standards really change.

    1. I would, cialis free.
    2. Give me an hour for my Palmeiro to take effect and I will.
    3. I would if I were drunk but that's my protection, too. Cause it ain't happening if I'm drunk.
    4. I wouldn't. Even if I dissolved viagra in my vodka all night long.
    Finally it's amazing how few women now fall into the latter category.

    Overall, I am sure glad I'm happily married and none of this matters anymore.

  4. #18
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    Re: Beer goggles are real

    Quote Originally Posted by camisadelgolf View Post
    Yeah, pretty much. My friends and I judge women and a 0-10 scale. For example, Roseanne Bar would be a 10, and Jennifer Aniston would be a 0. The number represents how many beers we would have to drink to have sex with her.
    That's way too obvious. Especially if you and your friends hang out with other women you have to be covert about rating others around you.

    Since this is Redszone, I will share a system my friends and I use that is sure to allow rating of other women....even while with women. We use the baseball average scale. To use your examples, Jennifer Aniston would probably be somewhere around a .350 hitter (HOF candidate). Rosanne would probably be below even Corey Patterson checking in around .050. It's a fool proof scale and if women get suspicious just tell them you are talking about baseball stats and they usually don't know enough to say otherwise. All real men know what a good hitter is...both on the diamond and off so this is a sure fire scale that is bound to give accurate ratings. Just don't try this around the women of Redszone.

    My best friend and I love to use this. One time we were at a concert with two other female friends (who we weren't dating just to clarify) and I explained the system to him. We just casually started nodding and mentioning batting averages. The girls had no idea what was going on and finally the one girl just goes "All you guys ever talk about is stupid baseball statistics...doesn't it ever get boring?"

  5. #19
    * Bat Votto Second * goreds2's Avatar
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    Re: Beer goggles are real

    I was getting primed for a Jimmy Buffett show a few years back at the hotel swimming pool near Cincy. My friend and I saw two girls come in and we did not rate them very well UNTIL they started to french kiss. Their scale went way up there after that. It was amazing how much better they looked! They aplogized for being friendly with each other as they loved the attention. We said, "that is OK".

    The bummer was their boy friends arrived a few minutes later. :thumbdown

    It was a great (TRUE) story to tell our co-workers though.
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  6. #20
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    Re: Beer goggles are real

    Wow those are some elaborate rating systems. Usually we just quickly note a "I would" or "called it"

    Gotta love the 50 yard fake outs though. I have callled some notoriously bad "fake outs" in my time.

  7. #21
    BobC, get a legit F.O.! Mario-Rijo's Avatar
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    Re: Beer goggles are real

    Quote Originally Posted by TeamSelig View Post
    Wow those are some elaborate rating systems. Usually we just quickly note a "I would" or "called it"

    Gotta love the 50 yard fake outs though. I have callled some notoriously bad "fake outs" in my time.
    A few guys tossed in that mix huh. LOL
    "You can't let praise or criticism get to you. It's a weakness to get caught up in either one."

    --Woody Hayes

  8. #22
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    Re: Beer goggles are real

    LOL not that bad.... but a few 'butter faces' ... some with mustaches

  9. #23
    First Time Caller SunDeck's Avatar
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    Re: Beer goggles are real

    I used to work at a carry out pizza place while in high school. The cooks worked in the back room and couldn't see the door, while the cashier worked up front. We had a system for alerting the cooks if there was a particularly good looking girl at the counter- the cashier would yell out an order to the back.
    If the cashier called out "Two hoagies, extra cheese", or "We need a large one with everything," it was a signal to drop what you were doing to get out to the front to check out the scenery.

    I don't know how many times I got smashed in the doorway as I rushed to the front room with three other pizza cooks.
    Next Reds manager, second shooter. --Confirmed on Redszone.

  10. #24
    We are the angry mob cincyinco's Avatar
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    Re: Beer goggles are real

    Quote Originally Posted by TeamSelig View Post
    Gotta love the 50 yard fake outs though. I have callled some notoriously bad "fake outs" in my time.
    Around here my buddies and I call this the 40 yard phenomenon.
    "I hate to advocate chemicals, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone... But they've always worked for me."

    -Hunter S. Thompson

  11. #25
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    Re: Beer goggles are real

    We always call them 50 yd fake outs, but it is usually within about 10-15 yds.


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