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Thread: Soon-to-Be 0-8 Bungles vs. Soon-to-Be 5-2 Texans

  1. #1
    Vampire Weekend @Bernie's camisadelgolf's Avatar
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    Soon-to-Be 0-8 Bungles vs. Soon-to-Be 5-2 Texans

    The Bengals fans' masochism begins at 4:00 PM (ET). What are your predictions? Here are mine:

    Ryan Fitzpatrick is sacked 16 times.
    Chris Perry fumbles the ball four times.
    Cedric Benson gets a DUI on his way out of the stadium.
    Daniel Coats is put on IR following the game, leaving Reggie Kelly as fullback (who will retire mid-season and be replaced by Nate Lawrie).
    Chad Ocho Cinco dislocates both shoulders on the same play.
    T.J. Houshmandzadeh catches 15 passes for 43 yards.
    Chris Henry gets arrested, kicked off the team, pleads guilty, gets exonerated, and re-signed to a four-year extension in the same day.
    The defensive line manages to go the entire game without recording a single statistic.
    Dhani Jones' jaw is broken by a wide receiver performing a block.
    Johnathan Joseph and Leon Hall both have career-ending injuries.
    Kyle Larson improves on his last game. By "improve", I mean he punts the ball 18 times following all those three-and-outs.
    Bob Bratkowski asks the offense to do repeated hail marys on first down and HB dives on third-and-long.

    Texans 86 (12 touchdowns and a safety)
    Bengals 1 (out of sympathy, Texans agree to allow the Bengals to attempt an extra point)

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    GR8NESS WMR's Avatar
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    Re: Soon-to-Be 0-8 Bungles vs. Soon-to-Be 5-2 Texans

    Quote Originally Posted by Scrap Irony View Post
    Calipari is not, nor has he ever been accused or "caught", cheating. He himself turned in one of his players (Camby) for dealing with an agent to get one Final Four overturned. The other is all on the NCAA and Rose. (IF Rose cheated.)
    "Cheering for Kentucky is like watching Star Wars and hoping Darth Vader chokes an ewok"


  4. #3
    Vampire Weekend @Bernie's camisadelgolf's Avatar
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    Re: Soon-to-Be 0-8 Bungles vs. Soon-to-Be 5-2 Texans

    Here's another one:

    "Defensive pass interference, on the defense, number 26. The ball will be placed on the goal line. First down."

    Marvin Lewis smiles and claps so much that he breaks his wrists.

  5. #4
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    Re: Soon-to-Be 0-8 Bungles vs. Soon-to-Be 5-2 Texans

    Quote Originally Posted by camisadelgolf View Post
    The Bengals fans' masochism begins at 4:00 PM (ET). What are your predictions? Here are mine:


    Chad Ocho Cinco dislocates both shoulders on the same play.
    Probably from patting himself on the back following a catch of 3 yards on a screen play.
    When people say that I donít know what Iím talking about when it comes to sports or writing, I think: Man, you should see me in the rest of my life.
    ---Joe Posnanski

  6. #5
    Member Reds Fanatic's Avatar
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    Re: Soon-to-Be 0-8 Bungles vs. Soon-to-Be 5-2 Texans

    The Bengals off to a typical start. Texans return a punt for 73 yards for a TD.

  7. #6
    GR8NESS WMR's Avatar
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    Re: Soon-to-Be 0-8 Bungles vs. Soon-to-Be 5-2 Texans

    "Marvin Lewis has had so much success in Cincinnati"

    What the hell is he smoking?
    Quote Originally Posted by Scrap Irony View Post
    Calipari is not, nor has he ever been accused or "caught", cheating. He himself turned in one of his players (Camby) for dealing with an agent to get one Final Four overturned. The other is all on the NCAA and Rose. (IF Rose cheated.)
    "Cheering for Kentucky is like watching Star Wars and hoping Darth Vader chokes an ewok"


  8. #7
    Senor Votto Degenerate39's Avatar
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    Re: Soon-to-Be 0-8 Bungles vs. Soon-to-Be 5-2 Texans

    Quote Originally Posted by WilyMoROCKS View Post
    "Marvin Lewis has had so much success in Cincinnati"

    What the hell is he smoking?
    Probably the same stuff as Chris Henry
    Most Vottomatic Player

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    Re: Soon-to-Be 0-8 Bungles vs. Soon-to-Be 5-2 Texans

    I'm not watching this game but paying attention a little on espn.com as I get some work done.

    It's only 14-6 right now.

    Uh-oh, perfect season is on the line....will the Bengals respond in typical fashion?

  10. #9
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    Re: Soon-to-Be 0-8 Bungles vs. Soon-to-Be 5-2 Texans

    That play by Joseph sums up this whole season. Just try to tap a player that was not down and let him run in for the TD. This whole team has quit.

  11. #10
    Kmac5 KoryMac5's Avatar
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    Re: Soon-to-Be 0-8 Bungles vs. Soon-to-Be 5-2 Texans

    It is a good thing Schaub is starting for my fantasy team this week. 28-6 Texans Schaub has thrown three touchdowns.
    If you have a losing record at Reds games, please stop going.

  12. #11
    ZCTRMTP!!!!! texasdave's Avatar
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    Re: Soon-to-Be 0-8 Bungles vs. Soon-to-Be 5-2 Texans

    28-6. Bye, Marvin. It can't happen too soon. BTW, nice no-effort play by Joseph to give the Texans another touchdown.

  13. #12
    GR8NESS WMR's Avatar
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    Re: Soon-to-Be 0-8 Bungles vs. Soon-to-Be 5-2 Texans

    Oh God, Gus Johnson just needs to shut the hell up. Don't even TRY to defend Joseph there. My Lord.
    Quote Originally Posted by Scrap Irony View Post
    Calipari is not, nor has he ever been accused or "caught", cheating. He himself turned in one of his players (Camby) for dealing with an agent to get one Final Four overturned. The other is all on the NCAA and Rose. (IF Rose cheated.)
    "Cheering for Kentucky is like watching Star Wars and hoping Darth Vader chokes an ewok"


  14. #13
    GR8NESS WMR's Avatar
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    Re: Soon-to-Be 0-8 Bungles vs. Soon-to-Be 5-2 Texans

    These announcers are idiots.
    Quote Originally Posted by Scrap Irony View Post
    Calipari is not, nor has he ever been accused or "caught", cheating. He himself turned in one of his players (Camby) for dealing with an agent to get one Final Four overturned. The other is all on the NCAA and Rose. (IF Rose cheated.)
    "Cheering for Kentucky is like watching Star Wars and hoping Darth Vader chokes an ewok"


  15. #14
    Member Reds4Life's Avatar
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    Re: Soon-to-Be 0-8 Bungles vs. Soon-to-Be 5-2 Texans

    28-6, all you can do is laugh, anything else is just painful.
    Pessimists are well informed optimists

  16. #15
    Member Reds4Life's Avatar
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    Re: Soon-to-Be 0-8 Bungles vs. Soon-to-Be 5-2 Texans

    Picked off, I am done with this team, I can't watch this anymore.
    Pessimists are well informed optimists


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