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Thread: Second Annual Redszone Postees Awards

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    Second Annual Redszone Postees Awards

    Because the year is almost over, I tend to look back over thepast 12 months to determine the joys in my life. Simple things, really, like a beautiful fall day with a sky so impossibly bright it hurts your eye just looking at it. Or a rainy Sunday with nothing to do except read the cartoons with that special someone. A perfect 6-4-3 with a strong relay to double up a fast runner. The sweet smell of freshly cut grass. Presents under the tree, all of them.

    Speaking of presents, it's time we handed some away. Therefore, let's bring back the Second Annual Redszone Awards Show. Since Samuel L. Jackson is making a movie and Gary Shanding is... well.. doing whatever it is that formerly funny men do, I will be your host for the evening. Cast your ballots, ladies and gentlemen, for the following:

    Most missed poster
    Miss the daily Richard Hand expose on typing with both eyes closed? Wish Fox could still regale us with constant rumors from his unnamed baseball sources? Fiind yourself melancholy over the absense of a myriad of former posters? Who's missed most?

    Best tag line
    The tag line is that little thing at the bottom of some posts. No, not that little thing at the bottom; the other little thing. Who inspires best? Makes you laugh? Makes you scratch your head trying to decipher those in jokes that are sure to make sense if only you start licking toads.

    Best Moniker
    Like the understatement of princeton, that Ivy League professor of Reds-related knowledge? Or, Hey Kids! How about Krusty? Does one of the Teamsters make you think about things even before you read their posts? If so, show them you care!

    Most Valuable Poster
    Whose information do you read first, agree the most with, or disagree but read first anyway? Who finds things you'd never, ever get to read without their help? Who makes you think most?

    Most Clever
    Best use of poetry, tone, statistics, one-liners to get the point across. Who made a point this year that just made you stop whatever else you were doing and go "uh-huh".

    Best Armchair GM
    Who would you rather run the Reds than Jim Bowden? Who is the next Theo Epstein?

    Best Trademeister
    Who comes up with the best deals? Whether it be plausible or not, which of the ADD posters here entertains you with their constant tinkering with the Cincinnati roster?

    Best Discussion
    Which discussion throughout the year made you think the most? Made you turn to the most? Got the most response? Made you bang your head on the keyboard and curse the heavens because it came up so slow?

    Worst Typist
    Whether it be grammatical, misspellings, or unclear wording, who makes you scratch your head and wonder what they're taking?

    Funniest
    Who makes you shoot milk through your nose everytime they post? Who makes you giggle even before you open their posts?

    Best Use of Statistics
    Which sabre-head helps you understand the game best?

    Most Long-winded
    Who can't ever shut up, even though you already get the point and wish they'd just stop, they just keep going and going and going, even though they've already gotten across everything they wanted to say they also go off onto other tangents like that time I was sittin in my car and suddenly I thought of a great trade involving Danny Jackson and a gorilla except this gorilla is like the gorilla in Congo and have you ever seen that movie it's really not bad... Nevermind.

    Most Positive
    Begging the pardon of Rosy Red here, who's the rosiest of us all? Whose glass is consantly half full?

    Most Negative
    Who is the eeyore?

    Best Use of an Emoticon
    Who deserves and for coming up with all the best of these little guys out of all :mad: :hat: :smokin: us posters.

    Nicest
    Who is the person most likely to give you the Junor Jersey off their back? Who makes you grin like a little kid?

    Best Moderator
    Who do you depend on the most? Which one of those guys seems to fix everything?

    Best Chatter
    Only those that have attended the chat room may vote in this highly contested award. (Haynes underwear will be given to the winner. But not Haynes' underwear.)

    Most Off-Topic
    I like potatoes!

    Best Use of the Phrase "Billardello of Blood"
    (Okay, so I wanted one of these awards for myself. It would look great on my resume right next to Trimble County High School Band Burping Champion, Band Camp Division, 1988-90.) Besides, I really like that line.

    Want some other awards? Just write them in. Remember to vote early, often, and Democratic!
    "You can learn little from victory. You can learn everything from defeat."
    -- Christy Matthewson
    "Show me a good loser and I'll show you an idiot."
    -- Leo Durocher

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    Member TeamCasey's Avatar
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    Thanks for doing this, Scrap! I thought about doing it again, but wasn't sure how it would go over these days.

    I'll work on my nominations over cocktails this weekend.

    Vacation starts in 8 hours.
    "I've never understood the term "women and children" as if their lives are somewhat more important than men."

  4. #3
    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
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    I hope I don;t lose ma ttidle of worsst tipist. I wurk so hards at gittin it ober da lst yer

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    Best Trademeister? Gotta be Krusty

    Best Armchair GM? My vote goes to M2

    Most missed poster? tie of Stormy and TeamClark

    Gotta do some research to figure out my votes on the rest

  6. #5
    You know his story Redsland's Avatar
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    Okay, I'll bite. I'm going to skip a few categories, though. No need to turn an awards show into a catfight, after all.

    Most missed poster
    Red Storm. His posts were always insightful, well-written, and thoroughly researched. I almost never disagreed with him, which saved me a lot of typing, since he articulated my point of view much better than I ever could.
    Runner up: Team Clark

    Best tag line
    KYRedsFan. ("I know, I know, you're a feminist, and that's adorable, but this is grown up time, and I'm the man." - Peter Griffin)
    Runner up: Red Leader ("Yes. Good place. They don't throw things. The fans just yell, 'You suck.' " -Ichiro, on Yankee Stadium)

    Best Moniker
    wolfwolfwolf. I assume this is inspired by the story of the boy who cried wolf. As a result, I always smile at the irony of reading his posts, since he doubtless intends for me to take them seriously, but signs them with a literary allusion to a character unworthy of belief.
    Runner up: Santo Alcala

    Most Valuable Poster
    guernsey. Level-headed and well-read, he's part town crier and part ambassador of goodwill. Plus, have you seen his post count?
    Runner up: cincinnati chili

    Most Clever
    Chip R. I think I'm pretty darn clever, but it probably isn't very seemly to vote for myself in such a public forum. That said, if you told me someone here owned a pair of Groucho glasses, I'd bet it's him.
    Runner up: 15Fan

    Best Armchair GM
    M2. He's pragmatic, has the vision thing, and doesn't shoot from the hip.
    Runner up: Raisor

    Best Trademeister
    Krusty. Who else is there?

    Best Discussion
    The Jason LaRue sucks, no he doesn't, passed balls are important, no they aren't expose on catching from a few weeks back. A fascinating, in-depth analysis of a position and a player. Full of nuance, and an enjoyable read.
    Runner up: Catch 22s account of his visit to Cincy

    Best Use of Statistics
    westofyou. His encyclopaedia thing has proven to be a valuable tool during numerous discussions.
    Runner up: Steve4192

    Most Positive
    TeamCasey. No contest.

    Best Use of an Emoticon
    Anyone who manages to work this one into a thread: :yipee:
    Runner up:

    Nicest
    Sun Deck. My lawn and garden never looked better.
    Runner up: RFS62

    Best Moderator
    Boss Hog. Can't say I agree with his policy regarding the Duke boys, but otherwise he's alright.

    Most Off-Topic
    :yipee:

    Best Use of the Phrase "Billardello of Blood"
    Biitner Pill. There ya go, buddy.

    ---------

    Least-Missed Poster
    Richard Hand. We've waved bon voyage to some real pieces of work, but there was something about this guy that got under my skin. What was it again? Oh yeah:
    Last edited by Redsland; 12-20-2002 at 03:18 PM.

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    Last edited by jtc24; 12-24-2002 at 01:00 PM.

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    Most missed posters
    Red Storm and JaxRed I learned a lot from both of them, even if I disagreed.

    I miss our busy youth batboy, neo we dont see you two often enough.

    geoj, 37Red Nice guys. Wish I saw more of them.

    I'd say TCII, but I think he lurks.


    Best tag line
    Lots of good ones hard to recall them.

    Ill go with Savas at the moment. 42% of all statistics are made up on the spot


    Best Moniker
    OldRedGuard fitting name for someone whos shared some real neat history with us.


    Most Valuable Poster
    Too many to list. Like different people for different reasons.

    Ill go with guernsey because he brings us all the news we need to hear faster than I can get it anywhere else.

    I'll second that with TeamMorris, TeamGriffey and TeamBoone .... otherwise, I'll get coal in my stocking.


    Most Clever
    BCubb - Summaries crack me up every time!

    RedRoser hes a diva!

    Dr. Scott scorecards.

    Creek good points and polls great morning coffee time.


    Best Armchair GM
    Really tough. Couldnt possible choose between many of the Dayton crew. Ill give that whole gang kudos. Theyve brought in some fantastic discussions.

    Edskin. A lot of passion and thought in his in his posts. May not always agree, but always respect.


    Best Trademeister
    That slobberknocker of a good guy. The man behind the green curtain. The Ole one.

    Best Discussion
    Ill get back to this one. Need to ponder it.

    Worst Typist
    Hmmm Wetzel perhaps, maybe me .. I often edit later.

    Funniest
    GAC, Wetzel

    Best Use of Statistics
    82% of Cincinnatians will need chocolate when Casey is traded! I think that was cedric, cant remember and Im offline.


    Most Long-winded
    Gotta give this one to Stormy .. hes a legend!

    LGJ on any topic involving the lightning rod.


    Most Positive
    RFS62, GAC

    MikeS21 - I'm a taxpayer ...... how dare you diffuse my rant!

    Most Negative

    TeamSelig, RedRead, Red-in-LA, SoCalRed .. but we love em anyway. Even the grinch has heart!

    Best Use of an Emoticon



    Ill add the worst use of an emoticon, then Ill step off my soapbox: anytime someone rolls eyes to someone elses opinion. Still hate that one. Disagree, dont disrespect.

    Nicest
    Bob Borkowski, Marty and Joe, GAC, SandyD, KittyDuran, SunDeck, catch22, smallbattle, GIK, BCubb and RFS62 .... too many to list.

    A lot of people have been kind to me over the years here. Thanks guys. I value the friendships Ive made here.

    Best Moderator
    15Fan can diffuse a situation without treating people like children, and without ticking people off. Very objective and fair.

    Best Chatter
    All of em! Wish more would participate!

    Great to see RBA and Cougar and Vancouver when they can make it!

    Most Off-Topic
    Word Association! Will that retched thing ever die!?

    Best Use of the Phrase "Billardello of Blood"
    Ill say Scrap .. but I didnt get this one

    I reserve the right to add more categories and nominations but first .. I need a cold one or two. Cheers! Vacation is here!
    Last edited by TeamCasey; 12-20-2002 at 07:31 PM.
    "I've never understood the term "women and children" as if their lives are somewhat more important than men."

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    TeamCasey wrote:
    Most Positive
    RFS62, GAC

    MikeS21 - I'm a taxpayer ...... how dare you diffuse my rant!
    Ah shucks. Why, thank you, TC! I'm touched that you would think of me as "The Most Positive.' :o

    For the record: My last name IS NOT Lindner, Allen, or Bowden!

    Most positive: Now what did I do with those 2003 Word Series tickets for GAB, that guy sold me on E-Bay?
    Opinions are like belly buttons. Everybody has one, and they don't want someone else's shoved into their face.

  10. #9
    "A Rose by Any Other. . " RedRoser's Avatar
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    Wow, TC, you sure know how to hurt a guy.
    Wasn't sure just what you meant by my nomination as "diva," so I went to Uncle Webster. He said "a prima donna." Now I said, what the he** is that, so I went back to ole Webb, and he says
    "a temperamental and conceited person."
    Now I get enuff of that kinda treatment from my wife. You women just can't resist teamin' up on us menfolk, huh?

    ---'Roser

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    Did I say diva??? I meant legend .... yeah, yeah .... that's the ticket!

    (One who's been bitten on the tush as many times as I have with misunderstood pranks and good fun. )
    "I've never understood the term "women and children" as if their lives are somewhat more important than men."

  12. #11
    "A Rose by Any Other. . " RedRoser's Avatar
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    Hmmm...

    Legend is good...

    Shania Twain---now she's a diva :evilgrin:

    ---'Roser

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    Most missed poster

    Easily Stormy. The place isn't the same without him.

    Best tag line

    Red Leader's Ichiro tagline.

    Most Valuable Poster

    Guernsey for providing us info faster than the AP

    Most Clever

    BCubb/BCubb2003. Love his random thoughts.

    Best Armchair GM

    Princeton. He has great 'vision'.

    Best Trademeister

    Ole' Krusty in a landslide.

    Best Discussion

    The "Aaron Boone is engaged to Laura Cover" thread. Certainly not lacking in entertainment value.

    Best Use of Statistics

    Easily WOY. Very nicely done always.

    Most Positive

    TC or TB. The glass is always half full.

    Funniest

    GAC or Phoenix. Always read their contributions. I'm still getting over "so as long as this is an official Todd Walker vs Barry Bonds HR tracking thread".

    Best Use of an Emoticon

    RHN17, especially when Brad Penny or Aaron Boone is involved.

    Nicest

    MWM or WVRedsFan.

    Best Moderator

    Chip. Always breaking up the cat fights.

  14. #13
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    BTW, guys and dolls, if you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by posting for all the world to see, just e-mail me your choices. Then I'll have your e-mail address and send some really horrible things to you. (Pictures of the family at Niagra Falls complete with a littel tyke picking his nose.) Plus, I can then blackmail all of you cowards in exchange for Reds' tickets.

    j/k
    "You can learn little from victory. You can learn everything from defeat."
    -- Christy Matthewson
    "Show me a good loser and I'll show you an idiot."
    -- Leo Durocher

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    Redszone Awards...

    Best Discussion

    The "Aaron Boone is engaged to Laura Cover" thread. Certainly not lacking in entertainment value.








    Best Use of an Emoticon

    RHN17, especially when Brad Penny or Aaron Boone is involved.




    I have to laugh because that whole "Aaron and Laura" story was THE topic of the season in my Aaron Boone Yahoo Group too...so many people posted their opinions on that story...Laura made a lot of enemies this past season LOL

    LGJ, thank you for your awarding me the Best Use of An Emoticon That's awesome...and yes, you put Aaron Boone or Brad Penny in ANY sentence here and you'll definitely get a :yipee: :yipee: out of me

    Merry Christmas everybody

    By the way, I hope Santa Baseball brings me Brad Penny or a certain Anaheim Angel to me this year
    Last edited by RedHotNumber17; 12-21-2002 at 10:22 PM.
    A Penny for my thoughts=BRAD

    "Come on ride the Train...Ride It...Come on ride the train...the D-Train"...Dontrelle Willis and the Boys...swimmin' their way to another World Series Championship...I love Brad Penny...always and forever <3

    Darryl Andrew Kile--12/2/68-6/22/02
    "Mr. GQ...you are be sorely missed!!!"

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    SERP Emeritus paintmered's Avatar
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    Funniest Thread

    There have been some good ones, but the "Are the Reds better with Castro?" thread takes the cake. If its on archive or around here someplace, take the time to read it. Some of the funniest and most creative stuff that redszone has produced in quite a while - and there's been plenty of good stuff to show up here.
    What if this wasn't a rhetorical question?

    All models are wrong. Some of them are useful.


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