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Thread: BCS Declares Germany Winner of WWII

  1. #1
    Member Razor Shines's Avatar
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    BCS Declares Germany Winner of WWII

    I don't know who wrote this originally it came to me from my brother in-law who is a huge Texas fan. I google'd it. It's going around on a lot of message boards, but no one seems to know who the author is. If anyone finds the original please link it, they deserve credit.

    US Ranked 4th

    After determining the Big-12 championship game participants, the BCS computers were put to work on other major contests and today the BCS declared Germany to be the winner of World War II.

    "Germany put together an incredible number of victories beginning with the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland and continuing on into conference play with defeats of Poland, France, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Belgium and the Netherlands. Their only losses came against the US and Russia; however considering their entire body of work--including an incredibly tough Strength of Schedule--our computers deemed them worthy of the #1 ranking."

    Questioned about the #4 ranking of the United States the BCS commissioner stated "The US only had two major victories--Japan and Germany. The computer models, unlike humans, aren't influenced by head-to-head contests--they consider each contest to be only a single, equally-weighted event."

    German Chancellor Adolf Hitler said "Yes, we lost to the US; but we defeated #2 ranked France in only 6 weeks." Herr Hitler has been criticized for seeking dramatic victories to earn 'style points' to enhance Germany's rankings. Hitler protested "Our contest with Poland was in doubt until the final day and the conditions in Norway were incredibly challenging and demanded the application of additional forces."

    The French ranking has also come under scrutiny. The BCS commented " France had a single loss against Germany and following a preseason #1 ranking they only fell to #2."

    Japan was ranked #3 with victories including Manchuria, Borneo and the Philippines.
    Last edited by Razor Shines; 12-07-2008 at 02:25 AM.

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  3. #2
    Raaaaaaaandy guttle11's Avatar
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    Re: BCS Declares Germany Winner of WWII

    Germany's SOS was atrocious.
    "I saw Wedding Crashers accidentally. I bought a ticket for Grizzly Man and went into the wrong theater. After an hour, I figured I was in the wrong theater, but I kept waiting. Thatís the thing about bear attacks. They come when you least expect it."-Dwight K. Schrute

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    Re: BCS Declares Germany Winner of WWII

    Ummmm, interesting.

    Did they take into consideration that the US was actually playing in one of those 'lessor' conferences (you know, MAC, WAC, GAC [opps, sorry that's the G-man ]?

    Anyway, there we were (the US) just bligthly going about our game and all of a sudden we're scheduled against Japan and Germany! Come on! I thought we had Panama and Lichtenstein on the schedule! Darn, without airmail it's tough to keep up the frentic pace of the '40's!

    Anyway, since the BCS has finally gone to a playoff system, and we kicked butt head-to-head, I think we'll be number one in '46.

    Rem

  5. #4
    Start the Reactor! *BaseClogger*'s Avatar
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    Re: BCS Declares Germany Winner of WWII

    The U.S. was an up-and-comer and therefore was lowly ranked in the preseason poll...
    "On-base percentage is great if you can score runs and do something with that on-base percentage," Baker said. "Clogging up the bases isn't that great to me."

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    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
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    Re: BCS Declares Germany Winner of WWII

    That's because our head coach (Ike) made some really terrible game time decisions early in the game.

    He should have listened to his offensive coordinator (Patton).
    "panic" only comes from having real expectations

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    Baseball card addict MrCinatit's Avatar
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    Re: BCS Declares Germany Winner of WWII

    A couple of the German linemen did become quality players for the Soviet and U.S.

  8. #7
    Rally Onion! Chip R's Avatar
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    Re: BCS Declares Germany Winner of WWII

    I saw that on the College Football newsgroup. I thought about posting it myself.
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    Titanic Struggles Caveat Emperor's Avatar
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    Re: BCS Declares Germany Winner of WWII

    I thought Germany lost to England too. That's a road loss to a much smaller opponent, which I think should've bumped them further back in the polls than it did.
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    Rally Onion! Chip R's Avatar
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    Re: BCS Declares Germany Winner of WWII

    Quote Originally Posted by Caveat Emperor View Post
    I thought Germany lost to England too. That's a road loss to a much smaller opponent, which I think should've bumped them further back in the polls than it did.

    Germany had problems with Finland which was a 1-AA team. They won but Finland gave them a game.
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    Member Marc D's Avatar
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    Re: BCS Declares Germany Winner of WWII

    I'm sorry but if it happened before 1950 doesn't that automatically make Notre Dame or Michigan the winner?

  12. #11
    SERP Emeritus paintmered's Avatar
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    Re: BCS Declares Germany Winner of WWII

    Appropriately, Army claimed a 3-peat between 1944 and 1946.
    What if this wasn't a rhetorical question?

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    Re: BCS Declares Germany Winner of WWII

    Quote Originally Posted by paintmered View Post
    Appropriately, Army claimed a 3-peat between 1944 and 1946.
    Everyone knows the AP doesn't matter anymore.

  14. #13
    Titanic Struggles Caveat Emperor's Avatar
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    Re: BCS Declares Germany Winner of WWII

    This thread is worthless without a photoshop of Lee Corso wearing an oversized SS hat on the set of GameDay.

    Championships Matter.
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    Re: BCS Declares Germany Winner of WWII

    Yet just another shining example of why the BCS is flawed. I hope (real) controversies continue every year until a playoff system is adopted. Funny satirical article though, mad props to the author.
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    Member Marc D's Avatar
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    Re: BCS Declares Germany Winner of WWII

    Quote Originally Posted by PedroBourbon View Post
    Yet just another shining example of why the BCS is flawed. I hope (real) controversies continue every year until a playoff system is adopted. Funny satirical article though, mad props to the author.
    The B12 just settled their conference championship on the field like everyone is always screaming for and it seems to still have some controversy. All a playoff will do is change what people complain about and cheapen the regular season.

    As far as yearly controversy forcing some type of change I'd point out that there has been controversy over the CFB NC every year since the 1950's. How much change have we seen?


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