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Thread: Greatest infomercial ever revisited

  1. #16
    Rally Onion! Chip R's Avatar
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    Re: Greatest infomercial ever revisited

    http://www.popularmechanics.com/blog...s/4309587.html

    The Claim:
    In a radio interview on Feb. 10, 2009, infomercial superstar Billy Mays claimed that the popular Shamwow has trod on the turf of Zorbeez, a super-absorbent towel he promoted in a separate infomercial about two years prior.

    Zorbeez is the most absorbent towel in the world, Mays said in the interview. Vince, host of the Shamwow ad, has now "unleashed and woken up the sleeping giant," Mays said, suggesting the two settle the score via a "pitch-off." Mays predicted the outcome: "Shampow!"

    Mays said Vince tried apologizing over e-mail, to which he replied, apology not accepted. "Don't knock Billy Mays off," Mays said. "Don't take my products. I take it personally. And I'm gonna take 'em back." He added, "Zorbeez was mine."

    "Billy Mays doesn't take this," Mays said. "I am the ultimate pitchman."

    In conclusion, Mays rapped, "I ain't the Beastie Boys or Run DMC. I'm Billy Mays, I'm gonna knock you … down to your knees!"

    The Test:
    We put the rival rags head-to-head in a spill test of some blueberry beer we had lying around. We also soaked snow puddles and clocked drying times.

    The Verdict:
    Shamwow, by a mile.

    The Details:
    Immediately out of the package, the burnt-orange Zorbeez looked a bit listless compared to the vibrant Shamwow. It had probably been sitting on a shelf a bit longer—it is a few years past its infomercial prime—but even so, its fleecy surface sparkled like fiberglass insulation.

    After the first champagne flute tipped, though, it became clear that the Zorbeez was outgunned on this one. The Shamwow soaked three paper towels' worth of blueberry beer on a single swipe, but the Zorbeez pushed the liquid off the edge of the table. We sopped and wiped with both sides of the Zorbeez, but a single stroke of the Shamwow chugged the beer with fratboyish speed. We threw each rag into two deck chairs wet with puddles of melted snow—the Zorbeez sloshed some out on the ground while the Shamwow sucked it up as if with a straw. Disclosure: we actually caught ourselves whispering "wow" while the Shamwow worked—and as our earlier tests proved, that's no guarantee.

    The Zorbeez measures 19-1/4 x 27-1/4 inches. The Shamwow, at 19 x 23 inches, soaks more despite its smaller size. A cold-water rinse of the beer-soaked rags caused heavy saturation of the Zorbeez, but the Shamwow sprung back after wringing and seemed to have already shed most of the moisture. Dry times in the sun proved otherwise—after 5 hours in cool air, the Zorbeez had become dryer than the damp Shamwow, though neither clammy rag felt ready for storage. After one use, the Zorbeez began shedding fibrous blonde tufts, while the Shamwow retained its rubbery integrity. Both products smelled awful.

    The Bottom Line:
    If you have reusable cloth rags (and a roll of paper towels for backup), then neither product is necessary.

    But we have a proper duel on our hands, and somebody's got to get "Shampowed." PM crowns Vince the new king of the rag ads. Sorry, Billy, but to the victor go the spills. —Harry Sawyers
    The Rally Onion wants 150 fans before Opening Day.

    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Rally-...24872650873160

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  3. #17
    Start the Reactor! *BaseClogger*'s Avatar
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    Re: Greatest infomercial ever revisited

    "On-base percentage is great if you can score runs and do something with that on-base percentage," Baker said. "Clogging up the bases isn't that great to me."

  4. #18
    Vampire Weekend @Bernie's camisadelgolf's Avatar
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    Re: Greatest infomercial ever revisited

    I have an uncle in Florida who knows Billy Mays. Apparently he's a really cool guy and has a great sense of humor. Surprisingly, Mays realizes how ridiculous his career is and frequently pokes fun at it with friends.

  5. #19
    Miami Redhawks Redhook's Avatar
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    Re: Greatest infomercial ever revisited

    "The reason you're going to slap away everyday."

    Classic.
    "....the two players I liked watching the most were Barry Larkin and Eric Davis. I was suitably entertained by their effortless skill that I didn't need them crashing into walls like a squirrel on a coke binge." - dsmith421

    www.kylevoska.com - Golfer? Check out my blog for golf tips.

  6. #20
    Member Tom Servo's Avatar
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    Re: Greatest infomercial ever revisited

    Vince is no Billy Mays. There's some outtakes from Mays' on youtube where he curses and what have you, it's hilarious.
    "Since I've been with the Reds in 1989, we've never had a farm system this loaded," Bowden said. "If we were the New York Yankees and had unlimited dollars, we could have traded for Colon, (Jeff) Weaver, Rolen, (Cliff) Floyd, (Kenny) Rogers and Finley and gotten them all -- and still held onto our top five prospects. That's an amazing statement."

  7. #21
    Potential Lunch Winner Dom Heffner's Avatar
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    Re: Greatest infomercial ever revisited

    This might be the best thing ever:

    Vince was arrested in February for assaulting a prostitute- the story as presented here is hilarious, and make sure to watch it all the way through:

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3036677/...22655#29922878

  8. #22
    Viva la Rolen kaldaniels's Avatar
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    Re: Greatest infomercial ever revisited

    Quote Originally Posted by Dom Heffner View Post
    This might be the best thing ever:

    Vince was arrested in February for assaulting a prostitute- the story as presented here is hilarious, and make sure to watch it all the way through:

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3036677/...22655#29922878
    Nice...I can't believe Vince is 44...by the looks of his mugshot he spends alot of time in the makeup chair.

  9. #23
    Winning the Human Race TheBigLebowski's Avatar
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    Guess "SlapChop" Isn't Just a Product...

    ....it's a philosophy.

    http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive...7092sham1.html

    "Vince," the ShamWow/SlapChop pitch-man, was arrested for battering a prostitute.

    There's just too many obvious jokes to make here. Have at it, folks.
    Founder and Ruling Elite of the Derrick Robinson Fan Club. Limited amount of memberships available.

  10. #24
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    Re: Greatest infomercial ever revisited

    I guess she didn't love his nuts.


  11. #25
    Vampire Weekend @Bernie's camisadelgolf's Avatar
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    Re: Greatest infomercial ever revisited


  12. #26
    Member VR's Avatar
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    Re: Greatest infomercial ever revisited

    Quote Originally Posted by klw View Post
    I think the Slap Chop thread got lost in the tragic Board Crash of 2009. I have been quoting this for the past month or so, I am ashamed to admit it but it is true. It is not as bad, yet, as that bizarre 6 month stretch in 1993-4 when Copacabana was stuck in my head but it could be lose. There are so many highlights I had to restart this to thank whoever it was that brought this into my life.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUbWjIKxrrs

    "You are going to have an exciting life now."
    Very interesting.....I sensed a little Christopher Walken coming out there.
    Baseball is like church. Many attend, few understand


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