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Thread: Screw You Guys, I'm Rich and I'm Buyin' a 30 Million Dollar Car!

  1. #1
    Member Razor Shines's Avatar
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    Screw You Guys, I'm Rich and I'm Buyin' a 30 Million Dollar Car!

    Yeah, I just got this email last night:

    barrteddy_williams@hotmail.com
    mailed-bybluewin.ch

    hide details 8:29 PM (5 hours ago) Reply

    I Barrister Teddy Williams wish to notify you that late Engr Jurgen Krugger made you a beneficiary to his WILL. He
    left the sum Thirty Million, One Hundred Thousand Dollars(USD$30, 100.000.00) to you in the last testament to his WILL.
    This all seems very official, as most of you know almost every law firm uses hotmail as their official email. I'm not exactly sure who Jurgen Krugger was, but he was obviously an extremely wise dude. It's about time someone on this planet noticed how great I am and how much I deserve to be handed a ton of money. This is gonna be great! I'm gonna have all this money and people are gonna love me. And then they will come to me and beg! And if I feel like it I will help them out and then they'll owe me big time. I'm probably gonna need a driver.

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  3. #2
    Vampire Weekend @Bernie's camisadelgolf's Avatar
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    Re: Screw You Guys, I'm Rich and I'm Buyin' a 30 Million Dollar Car!

    Congratulations, Razor. I'm really happy for you. I have a valid Ohio drivers license, and I would be thrilled to drive you around.

  4. #3
    I hate the Cubs LoganBuck's Avatar
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    Re: Screw You Guys, I'm Rich and I'm Buyin' a 30 Million Dollar Car!

    What do you know I won a lottery as well

    This is to inform you of the release of SOUTHEAST ASIA INTERNATIONAL PROMOTIONS ORGANIZATION PRIZE DRAW, held on the 5th of JANUARY 2009, but owing to some mix up of numbers and addresses and the holidays, the results were released on the 1st of MARCH 2009.

    Your name was attached to ticket number 096-12076077-09 with serial number 42690-0 that drew the lucky numbers of 03-05-12-14-28-38, which consequently won the lottery in the 5th category. You have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay of $25.000,000.00.
    The Sox traded Bullfrog the only player they've got for Shottenhoffen. Four-eyes Shottenhoffen a utility infielder. They've got a whole team of utility infielders.

  5. #4
    Redsmetz redsmetz's Avatar
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    Re: Screw You Guys, I'm Rich and I'm Buyin' a 30 Million Dollar Car!

    Razor, can we count on you personally bolstering Redszone's coffers for a couple of years courtesy of your late, great Uncle Jurgen?
    “In the same way that a baseball season never really begins, it never really ends either.” - Lonnie Wheeler, "Bleachers, A Summer in Wrigley Field"

    The Baseball Emporium - Books & Things, that's Rallyonion.com

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  6. #5
    Senor Votto Degenerate39's Avatar
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    Re: Screw You Guys, I'm Rich and I'm Buyin' a 30 Million Dollar Car!

    We should all put our money together from these emails and buy the Reds!
    Most Vottomatic Player

  7. #6
    Haunted by walks
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    Re: Screw You Guys, I'm Rich and I'm Buyin' a 30 Million Dollar Car!

    Looks like they thawed out Ted Williams and he became a ... barrister?

  8. #7
    Jack of all trades Root Down's Avatar
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    Re: Screw You Guys, I'm Rich and I'm Buyin' a 30 Million Dollar Car!

    Quote Originally Posted by LoganBuck View Post
    What do you know I won a lottery as well
    Nice win on the Pyongyang sweepstakes! Do you have to go there to pick up your check?

  9. #8
    C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! WVRed's Avatar
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    Re: Screw You Guys, I'm Rich and I'm Buyin' a 30 Million Dollar Car!

    Hi, I am a Prince of Nygerian Royaltee, and I would like for you to send me money. Please ignore the fact that I cannot spell Nigerian, or royalty.
    Quote Originally Posted by savafan View Post
    I've read books about sparkling vampires who walk around in the daylight that were written better than a John Fay article.

  10. #9
    Haunted by walks
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    Re: Screw You Guys, I'm Rich and I'm Buyin' a 30 Million Dollar Car!

    Hi. I knew more about baseball than any man alive, bet on my own team, and lost money.

  11. #10
    Redsmetz redsmetz's Avatar
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    Re: Screw You Guys, I'm Rich and I'm Buyin' a 30 Million Dollar Car!

    RE: £10,000,000.00 (TEN MILLION BRITISH POUNDS STERLING)

    I am Mr. Kelvin Smith, the account officer of a foreigner, who was an oil
    Consultant/contractor with Shell Petroleum Corporation. Moreover before his
    untimely death, he was actively involved in Oil {Petroleum} Exploration/Export
    business in UK on the 5th of January, 2003. He died with heart related
    complication. We sent a routine notification to his forwarding address but got
    no reply. Several enquiries to locate any of his extended relatives, has
    proved unsuccessful. I decided to trace his relatives over the Internet to
    locate any member of his family but of no Avail, hence I contacted you.

    The total sum, £10,000,000.00 (Ten Million British Pounds Sterling) is still
    in my bank and the interest is being rolled over with the principal sum at the
    end of each year. In accordance with the British Banking Laws and
    constitution, if declared Unserviceable by the bank, the money will reverted
    to the ownership of the British Government if nobody applies as the next of
    Kin to claim the funds.

    That is why I am seeking for your consent/cooperation to present you as the
    foreign partner to stand as the Next of Kin of the deceased, so that the
    proceeds of this account valued at £10,000,000.00 (Ten Million British Pounds
    Sterling) can be paid to you. The sharing ratio will be, 50% to me and 45% to
    you, while 5% should be for expenses or tax as your government may require. I
    will obtain all necessary legal documents that will be used to back up the
    claim we are making. All I require is your honest co-operation and
    confidentiality to enable us see this deal through. I guarantee that this will
    be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any
    breach of the law.

    If you are really interested in this offer email me back.

    Yours Faithfully,

    Mr. Kelvin Smith
    Well, I'm still trying to figure out how I'm going to stand in as Next of Kin, all at the same time the guy warrants he'll protect me from any breach of the law. What will I do, turn to him in court and ask, "what was the name of my dead relative again?".

    And all this for a paltry 6.7 Million dollars (based on today's exchange rate) and he's only setting aside 3/4 million dollars for taxes (I don't think so!). Oh well, I guess I better get back to work since I have to pass on this fantastic and most generous offer. And I'm pretty broken up about old uncle/cousin whoever.
    “In the same way that a baseball season never really begins, it never really ends either.” - Lonnie Wheeler, "Bleachers, A Summer in Wrigley Field"

    The Baseball Emporium - Books & Things, that's Rallyonion.com

    The Baseball Bookstore

    http://tsc-sales.com/
    http://tscsales.blogspot.com/
    http://silverscreenbooks.com/


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