Recited daily before looking at that day's lineup:
This is not to be confused with the prayer for the GM.
Dear baseball gods, you who brought forth Bid McPhee, Joe Nuxhall, Frank Robinson and so many others, the strength of the Big Red Machine led by the wisdom of Sparky, Tom Browning's perfect game, and the wire to wire miracle of 1990 we recognize your powers. We ask that you provide wisdom to the unwise and place batters who can reach first base in the first two positions of the lineup. We ask, that if necessary and that request is not granted, that through some quirks allow those early batters to somehow swing the bat hard enough to make it to first base. We also, ask, dear baseball gods that you grant the starting pitcher the ability to throw strikes but not to throw strikes down the heart of the plate in a straight tragectory. Finally, we ask that you give the unwise sitting on the bench, the ability to know when to take pitchers out of the game before they have nothing left to offer, and to replace them with those who can throw better than those before them. In the name of Johnny, Pete, Joe and Tony, we say amen.