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Thread: Funny Baseball Quotes

  1. #16
    Socratic Gadfly TheNext44's Avatar
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    Re: Funny Baseball Quotes

    Quote Originally Posted by jojo View Post
    Ichiro commenting on his feelings for Cleveland, “To tell the truth, I’m not excited to go to Cleveland, but we have to. If I ever saw myself saying I’m excited going to Cleveland, I’d punch myself in the face, because I’m lying.”
    Would love to get some quotes from one of Ichiro's All-Star game pre-game, clubhouse rants. I hear they are legendary.
    "Imagination is more important than knowledge." -- Albert Einstein

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  3. #17
    Member OnBaseMachine's Avatar
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    Re: Funny Baseball Quotes

    Quote Originally Posted by jojo View Post
    Ichiro commenting on his feelings for Cleveland, “To tell the truth, I’m not excited to go to Cleveland, but we have to. If I ever saw myself saying I’m excited going to Cleveland, I’d punch myself in the face, because I’m lying.”
    I like his quote about August in Kansas City better.

    Go to YouTube and type in "Ichiro's Favorite American Expression" and you'll see what I'm talking about.

  4. #18
    6 months of heartbreak Bob Borkowski's Avatar
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    Re: Funny Baseball Quotes

    (Concerning Oil Can Boyd) "He also had a Doberman that acquired a taste for beer! They both cut down, but how would you like to encounter a Doberman kicking a six-pack-a-day beer habit?" -- Nolan Ryan

  5. #19
    Battle Toad Historian thatcoolguy_22's Avatar
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    Re: Funny Baseball Quotes

    from here
    Top 25 Ricky Henderson Quotes

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    1) Rickey… on referring to himself in the third person:

    “Listen, people are always saying, ‘Rickey says Rickey.’ But it’s been blown way out of proportion. People might catch me, when they know I’m ticked off, saying, ‘Rickey, what the heck are you doing, Rickey?’ They say, ‘Darn, Rickey, what are you saying Rickey for? Why don’t you just say, ‘I?’ But I never did. I always said, ‘Rickey,’ and it became something for people to joke about.”

    2) In the early 1980s, the Oakland A’s accounting department was freaking out. The books were off $1 million. After an investigation, it was determined Rickey was the reason why. The GM asked him about a $1 million bonus he had received and Rickey said instead of cashing it, he framed it and hung it on a wall at his house.

    3) In 1996, Henderson’s first season with San Diego, he boarded the team bus and was looking for a seat. Steve Finley said, “You have tenure, sit wherever you want.” Henderson looked at Finley and said, “Ten years? Ricky’s been playing at least 16, 17 years.”

    4) This one might be my second favorite. This wasn’t too long ago, I think it was the year he ended up playing with the Red Sox. Anyway, he called San Diego GM Kevin Towers and left the following message: “This is Rickey calling on behalf of Rickey. Rickey wants to play baseball.”

    5) This one happened in Seattle. Rickey struck out and as the next batter was walking past him, he heard Henderson say, “Don’t worry, Rickey, you’re still the best.”

    6) Rickey once asked a teammate how long it would take him to drive to the Dominican Republic.

    7) Moments after breaking Lou Brock’s stolen base record, Henderson told the crowd – with Brock mere feet next to him – “Lou Brock was a great base stealer, but today, I am the greatest of all-time.”

    8) Henderson once fell asleep on an ice pack and got frostbite – which forced him to miss three games — in mid-August.

    9) A reporter asked Henderson if Ken Caminiti’s estimate that 50 percent of Major League players were taking steroids was accurate. His response was, “Well, Rickey’s not one of them, so that’s 49 percent right there.”

    10) Henderson broke Ty Cobb’s career record for runs scored with a home run. After taking his usual 45 seconds or so around the bases, Rickey slid into home plate.

    11) On being Nolan Ryan’s 5,000th career strikeout: “It gave me no chance. He (Ryan) just blew it by me. But it’s an honor. I’ll have another paragraph in all the baseball books. I’m already in the books three or four times.”

    12) San Diego GM Kevin Towers was trying to contact Rickey at a nearby hotel. He knew Henderson always used fake names to avoid the press, fans, etc. He was trying to think like Rickey and after several attempts; he was able to get Henderson on the phone.

    Rickey had checked in under Richard Pryor.

    13) I didn’t believe this one at first. However, I emailed a few contacts within the Sox organization and they claim it actually happened. This is priceless, it really is.

    The morning after the Sox finished off the sweep against St. Louis last October, Henderson called someone in the organization looking for tickets to Game 6 at Fenway Park.

    14) The Mets were staying in a hotel less than a mile from Cinergy Field in Cincinnati. While some players walked, most took the team bus. A few minutes after they arrived — again it was less than a mile – the last players off the bus noticed a stretched limo that had just pulled up.

    Of course, Rickey emerged from the back seat.

    15) A reporter once asked Rickey if he talked to himself, “Do I talk to myself? No, I just remind myself of what I’m trying to do. You know, I never answer myself so how can I be talking to myself?”

    16) OK, I know everyone has been waiting for it. Alas, according to both parties involved, it’s not true. I wish it were. Heck, both Rickey Henderson and John Olerud have said they wish it were true. But it just didn’t happen.

    The story went that a few weeks into Henderson’s stint with the Mariners, he walked up to Olerud at the batting cage and asked him why he wore a batting helmet in the field. Olerud explained that he had an aneurysm at nine years old and he wore the helmet for protection. Legend goes that Henderson said, “Yeah, I used to play with a guy that had the same thing.”

    Legend also goes that Olerud said, “That was me, Rickey.”

    Henderson played with Olerud on the Blue Jays and the Mets.

    17) Rickey was asked if he had the Garth Brooks album with Friends in Low Places and Henderson said, “Rickey doesn’t have albums. Rickey has CDs.”

    18) During a contract holdout with Oakland in the early 1990s, Henderson said, “If they want to pay me like Mike Gallego, I’ll play like Gallego.”

    19) In the late 1980s, the Yankees sent Henderson a six-figure bonus check. After a few months passed, an internal audit revealed the check had not been cashed. Current Yankees GM Brian Cashman – then a low-level nobody with the organization – called Rickey and asked if there was a problem with the check. Henderson said, “I’m just waiting for the money market rates to go up.”

    20) In June 1999, when Henderson was playing with the Mets, he saw reporters running around the clubhouse before a game. He asked a teammate what was going on and he was told that Tom Robson, the team’s hitting coach, had just been fired. Henderson said, “Who’s he?”

    21) This is my all-time favorite. Rickey was pulled over by a San Diego police officer for speeding. As the officer was approaching Rickey’s car, the window went down a few inches and a folded $100 bill emerged. The officer let Rickey and his money head home without a ticket.

    22) When he was on the Yankees in the mid-1980s, Henderson told teammates that his condo had such a great view that he could see, “The Entire State Building.”

    23) During one of his stays with Oakland, Henderson’s locker was next to Billy Beane’s. After making the team out of spring training, Beane was sent to the minors after a few months. Upon his return, about six weeks later, Henderson looked at Beane and said, “Hey, man, where have you been? Haven’t seen you in awhile.”

    24) To this day and dating back 25 years, before every game he plays, Henderson stands completely naked in front of a full length locker room mirror and says, “Ricky’s the best,” for several minutes.

    25) In the last week of his lone season with the Red Sox, Chairman Tom Werner asked Henderson what he would like for his ‘going-away’ gift. Henderson said he wasn’t going anywhere, but he would like owner John Henry’s Mercedes. Werner said it would be tough to get the same make and model in less than a week and Henderson said, “No, I want his car.” Turns out the Sox got Henderson a Red Thunderbird and when he saw it on the field before the last game of the season, Rickey said, “Whose ugly car is on the field?”
    "Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier'n helpin' 'em move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load **** into a truck."

  6. #20
    6 months of heartbreak Bob Borkowski's Avatar
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    Re: Funny Baseball Quotes

    "Would you say, Harvey, that this is the best game you ever pitched?" -- Pittsburgh radio announcer, after Harvey Haddix pitched a perfect game for twelve innings, only to lose by 1-0 in the thirteenth

  7. #21
    THAT'S A FACT JACK!! GAC's Avatar
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    Re: Funny Baseball Quotes

    Quote Originally Posted by BoydsOfSummer View Post
    Who is keeping the Dustinator Funny Quote Journal? Man, those are a real hoot!
    I can't tell you how many times I've heard his favorite phrase in post-game interviews.... "Boy, that was a tough one there."

    Others....

    "Boy, Norris Hopper can hit that ball hard. He’s a strong little dude. The ball made a loud sound. I use my ears a lot. I can tell what kind of bat speed [he] has by that sound."

    “All I’ve seen is stats. There’s more to being in the big leagues than just stats. Everyone is so stat-conscious. You get away from 'Can he do the little things to play winning baseball?'"

    “I’m big on driving in runs and scoring runs. Guys in the middle should score about close to equal to what they drive in. On-base percentage, that’s fine and dandy. But a lot of times guys get so much into on-base percentage that they cease to swing. It’s becoming a little bit out of control.”

    "It's called hitting, and it ain't called walking. Do you ever see the top 10 walking? You see top 10 batting average. A lot of those top 10 do walk. But the name of the game is to hit."

    "We're close. Real close"

    But the all-time winner is....

    "Personally, I like to play in the heat. It's easier for me. It's easier for most Latin guys and easier for most minority people. You don't find too many brothers in New Hampshire and Maine and the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, right? We were brought over here for the heat, right? Isn't that history? Weren't we brought over because we could take the heat? Your skin color is more conducive to the heat than it is to the light-skinned people, right? You don't see brothers running around burnt and stuff, running around with white stuff on their ears and nose and stuff."
    "panic" only comes from having real expectations

  8. #22
    Rally Onion! Chip R's Avatar
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    Re: Funny Baseball Quotes

    I like this one

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    The Rally Onion wants 150 fans before Opening Day.

    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Rally-...24872650873160

  9. #23
    6 months of heartbreak Bob Borkowski's Avatar
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    Re: Funny Baseball Quotes

    "I enjoy Shea Stadium. But the fans are something else. I look upon each game there as an experience. I get to go to a zoo and I don't have to pay admission." -- Pete Rose


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