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Thread: Funniest DUMB thing you've ever done

  1. #16
    Raaaaaaaandy guttle11's Avatar
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    Re: Funniest DUMB thing you've ever done

    One time I came out of the gym to find that I had locked my keys in my car. I spent the next half hour angry that my two roommates weren't home to bring me my spare key. Eventually I gave up and walked home (nearly three miles round trip) to get my spare key, climbing through the window to get in. When I got back to the car and unlocked the door, I noticed the lock didn't click to unlock. The door was unlocked the whole time. I simply saw my keys on the passenger seat and assumed, never even tried to open the door. Probably the only time in 10 years of driving that I didn't lock my door outside of a garage.

    My roommates saved the voicemails I left for audio proof that I'm a doofus.
    Last edited by guttle11; 05-06-2010 at 11:21 PM.
    "I saw Wedding Crashers accidentally. I bought a ticket for Grizzly Man and went into the wrong theater. After an hour, I figured I was in the wrong theater, but I kept waiting. That’s the thing about bear attacks. They come when you least expect it."-Dwight K. Schrute

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  3. #17
    Member 919191's Avatar
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    Re: Funniest DUMB thing you've ever done

    When I was abou 17, back in the late 1970's, my hometown bank got a new drive-up system- the kind with the pneumatic tube and plastic canister. All I had ever seen was the window for direct person to person contact. It was new to me. On a Saturday, I deposited 3 tens, along with the slip. I pulled out the canister, laid the 3 tens with the slip where the canister had sat, and then put the canister back, as if it were a paperweight. When the ran the thing, only one ten made it through. The other two of them and the slip got stuck somewhere n between and actually caused it to stop working. They shut it down, and had it worked on Monday, and actually retrieved my other twenty bucks. I still hate drive ups.
    I've been to dinner at Jimmy Buffet's house, and I've eaten it at a homeless shelter. And there's great joy and harrowing terror to be found in both places.
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  4. #18
    The Boss dougdirt's Avatar
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    Re: Funniest DUMB thing you've ever done

    Quote Originally Posted by Dom Heffner View Post
    One time I stuck my hand into a set of running cake beaters just to prove to my mother that they wouldn't cut them off.

    Dumb, dumb, dumb...
    So, who was right?

  5. #19
    Be the ball Roy Tucker's Avatar
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    Re: Funniest DUMB thing you've ever done

    We'd driven down to Florida for vacation and we'd driven through the night so the kids would sleep. By the time we got there, I was running on fumes.

    We got in the elevator to go up to the condo. Instead of pushing a floor button on the side of the door like any other human being, I reached up and pushed the floor indicator light over top of the door. Pushed a couple times and was puzzled why it didn't work. My wife looked at me like I had a third eye in the middle of my forehead, pushed the regular button, and said "what in the world are you doing?". It made sense to me at the time.

    Every time we go on vacation now, she tells that story.

    Pay attention to the open sky

  6. #20
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    Re: Funniest DUMB thing you've ever done

    Quote Originally Posted by GIDP View Post
    Rosie O' Donnel
    Funniest, not grossest.

  7. #21
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    Re: Funniest DUMB thing you've ever done

    At a baseball game in while in College and I went to get the beers. (Single-A game)

    We're sitting down at the 3rd base line and there were a couple of fat chicks in front of us with their legs on the seats in front of them tanning their stretched out legs.

    As I'm coming back with the beers, one in one hand, and two in one of those cardboard drink cup containers. Instead of going down to the aisle and going up the row, I decide to take a short-cut diagonally across the seats.

    About two rows from our seat, I trip, and of course my only desire is to save the beers.

    With no hope of regaining my footing, I sprawl out length-wise handing the single beer in my left hand to a buddy.

    With the beers in the cardboard carrier in my right hand I'm able to save them as my prostrate body slams into the back of the seats the girls are sitting in. One of the fat chicks is catapulted completely into the seat in front of as if she had been sitting there all along.

    I'm not sure which was funnier....her being catapulted into the seat in front of her, or my flying through the air landing on the ground, but saving all three beers.

    I'm lying on the ground below our seats, and the most important part.....neither beer was spilled.
    Last edited by Kingspoint; 05-07-2010 at 06:21 PM.

  8. #22
    One and a half men Patrick Bateman's Avatar
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    Re: Funniest DUMB thing you've ever done

    Now this isn't me....

    but remember the time time Kingspoint stated as fact that the Blazers would win the NBA this year, or at worst win the first series.

    That was pretty dumb and funny.

  9. #23
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    Re: Funniest DUMB thing you've ever done

    Quote Originally Posted by Patrick Bateman View Post
    Now this isn't me....

    but remember the time time Kingspoint stated as fact that the Blazers would win the NBA this year, or at worst win the first series.

    That was pretty dumb and funny.
    It was "fixed".

    It was the ref's fault.

    The Sun got up on the wrong side of the Earth.

    I meant the 2010-2011 season.

  10. #24
    Senor Votto Degenerate39's Avatar
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    Re: Funniest DUMB thing you've ever done

    Quote Originally Posted by GIDP View Post
    Rosie O' Donnel
    I wish I could rep you right now
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  11. #25
    One and a half men Patrick Bateman's Avatar
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    Re: Funniest DUMB thing you've ever done

    Quote Originally Posted by Kingspoint View Post
    It was "fixed".

    It was the ref's fault.

    The Sun got up on the wrong side of the Earth.

    I meant the 2010-2011 season.
    Lol, was just hoping to get a response from you after you left the other thread.

    Hopefully your Hawks talk is more fruitful.

  12. #26
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    Re: Funniest DUMB thing you've ever done

    Quote Originally Posted by Degenerate39 View Post
    I wish I could rep you right now
    Ill just take some mental rep.

  13. #27
    He has the Evil Eye! flyer85's Avatar
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    Re: Funniest DUMB thing you've ever done

    Proving to my mother that bees wouldn't sting if I stomped on them in my bare feet.
    What are you, people? On dope? - Mr Hand

  14. #28
    Potential Lunch Winner Dom Heffner's Avatar
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    Re: Funniest DUMB thing you've ever done

    Quote Originally Posted by dougdirt View Post
    So, who was right?
    I was right but they were bruised and bloodied and the beaters broke.

    Truly painful. Obviously LOL....
    If you're watchin' a parade, make sure you stand in one spot, don't follow it, it never changes. And if the parade is boring, run in the opposite direction, you will fast-foward the parade. --Mitch Hedberg

  15. #29
    Redsmetz redsmetz's Avatar
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    Re: Funniest DUMB thing you've ever done

    Quote Originally Posted by gilpdawg View Post
    One time a long time ago, I think I was only 16 or so, I put a bunch of CDs (remember those?) on the top of my car for a second because my hands were full. Of course, I drove off with them still there. Of course they were toast.
    Oh no, I can out do that one. I placed my Martin guitar, thankfully in its hardshell case, on top of our car. As we drove down the hill, I realized the guitar was not in the back seat. Thinking I'd left it sitting on the sidewalk, I hit the brakes to head back up the hill. Flying off the top of the car was my precious guitar. Thankfully, as I said, the case absorbed the full brunt of the crashing to the ground and now has a crack in it, but the guitar was unscathed.
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  16. #30
    Test for fancy coffee yab1112's Avatar
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    Re: Funniest DUMB thing you've ever done

    Once in school I was trying to impress some girls so I stood between two desks with one hand on each one. I lifted myself up and started swinging my whole body back and forth. It took about two swings before the weight I was putting on the desks made them slide away from me, at which point I had nothing holding me up and I promptly faceplanted into the floor.
    My name is Cheesy Beef Burrito


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