Dear Brandon Phillips.

I thank you for your antics and shenanigans. Because of you and your lunacy, you have actually helped our beloved Cardinals team.

You have, perhaps, woken a sleeping giant and, in turn, caused your team to lose focus.

Therefore, I hold no resentments towards you what-so-ever.

I sincerely thank you for helping our beloved Cardinals become a better team and will soon watch your team crumble under the pressure. You may want to consider apologizing to your teammates and the fans of the Cincinatti Reds for ruining a good season.