G'head. Rate my Jimmy Edmonds poem I wrote - in a matter of mere ..umm.. seconds? It was posted during a game thread five years ago, when the Reds were getting destroyed by the Cardinals.

Check it before you wreck it, fools!

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"Ode to Jim Edmonds"

Thou art as splashy in cardinal red as the day is long.
From whence thou runneth from your centerfield position,
Gracefully, leaping majestically, diving fruitfully,
For the sagging line drive of glorious life.

Slashing thou baseball, like the lumberjack in the forest
Penetrates the majestic wood. With a mighty swing,
Thee Jim Edmonds, handsome as a California raisin,
In the glaring sun of glorious life, Jim Edmonds! Give joy to thee!

Traipsing through the outfield, his radiant plume to see,
Tra-la-lee, Tra-la-lee, Tra-la-lee!
To thee we honor thy grace, thou sweet Jimmy Edmonds,
For you give life to baseball, and your lustful dives gives life to thee.