My dad got to enjoy 3 Reds World Championships by the time he was my age. So far, I've only gotten to enjoy one. Step it up Redlegs!
When is the wedding? Engaged doesn't equal married. I've known people who ended up being engaged longer than they had dated.
"I prefer books and movies where the conflict isn't of the extreme cannibal apocalypse variety I guess." Redsfaithful
Stay out of it. He isn't going to listen to you anyway. Even if he isn't immediately mad at you, he'll eventually tell her whatever you might say and she'll essentially cut you off from him.
I got engaged and married way too soon. Marriage has been a struggle. No telling how I would have reacted if a friend would have told me not to go through with it, but I wish someone would have. Does that make any sense?
Let's get weird!
The basic instinct of wanting to look after your friend is good but the attachment/obsession/involvement of needing to "stop" his engagement is probably not the healthiest. Do you have a romantic relationship? If so, maybe put that energy into you and your girlfriend and let him have his own relationship.
Everyone is entitled to their own free will and to their own mistakes. If his fiance is so terrible and the decision is so awful then let it happen and dissolve on its own. If you stick your hand in the quagmire now you are opening the possibility of YOU being blamed for why it all went south. Let your friend have his "doomed" relationship. He will never look back and say "Why didn't you break up my relationship like a good friend?" and be upset at you for it so respect his ability to make his own choices and don't be a third party in his romantic life.
Cincinnati Reds 2014 W-L Record: 76.6-85.4*
Cincinnati Reds 2015 W-L Record: TBA
And thank you everyone for all of your responses. I sincerely appreciate it.
I understand the "when you know, you know" crowd. I just don't trust his ability to actually know whether what he feels is real, or if its what he wants to feel. That being said, that isn't for me to determine, and there is no way of really knowing.
The easy thing to do is just to go along with it. The more and more I discuss this with my friends, the more "IS HE INSANE" reactions I keep getting. He also just informed me he's probably moving southeast in 8 months or so when his lease is up, 3 months after I just got him a job at my firm. I just don't think he's acting rationally.
I dated a girl for two years that my friends didn't like, and never had the guts to tell me. I was blinded from it because I thought I was in love. It wasn't until after we broke up that my friends told me how awful they thought she was, and I thought to myself that I wish I would have heard what they had to say when we were dating. However, I know I wouldn't have done anything about it. That relationship couldn't have ended in a more publicly humiliating way (for those of you that know me, you know what I mean).
Most of you that said it isn't my place to intervene are right. He's a big boy, and gotta make his own decisions. I just don't know how I can bite my tongue and play along that I think this is a good idea.
Thanks again everyone.
I had two good friends get together a few years ago who were terrible for each other. They wound up getting married and are now not living together. Everyone and their mother told them it was a bad idea. They didn't listen, because when you are in love, you don't care what other people think about it. That is just how it works. Even in hindsight you can wish someone had told you, but if we are all being honest with ourselves, we know that we wouldn't have truly listened and followed through with the advice they offered.
Unless you have a reason to believe that this girl is truly bad news, then I would highly suggest staying out of it. Them moving too fast isn't bad news. Her being a terrible person is. If she isn't a terrible person, just wish him the best of luck.
I would just tell him straight up that you think it is a bad idea, he is moving too fast, etc. but make sure to add that as a friend, you feel responsible to let him know how you feel about it. Then let him know that you have his support if he does go through with it.
If you are stern about your disapproval, he is just going to get pissed at you and there will be a bunch of drama. Just let him know how you feel and that you are still by his side.
I honestly doubt any guy who is in love with a girl is going to listen to a friend that tells him they are moving too fast, etc.
When people say that I donít know what Iím talking about when it comes to sports or writing, I think: Man, you should see me in the rest of my life.
My wife and I were married a little over 9 months after we met and are currently on year 18....
The obvious default position is that this situation isn't ideal. As with all opinions though, get all of the facts before forming a conclusion. My advice, spend time with the two of them and see for yourself if they are a good match personality-wise, philosophy-wise, goal-wise....
"This isnít stats vs scouts - this is stats and scouts working together, building an organization that blends the best of both worlds. This is the blueprint for how a baseball organization should be run. And, whether the baseball men of the 20th century like it or not, this is where baseball is going."---Dave Cameron, U.S.S. Mariner
The only thing I have a problem with is the haste, especially with what he went through with his previous girlfriend cheating on him. His older sister also got married to a guy very quickly (at around the age of 24), and she was divorced 10 months later.
For all I know, they may be perfect for each other, and have a lifetime of happiness. I just think he's being hasty, and not thinking clearly.