I finally caught
Captain Phillips on the plane back from Berlin this weekend, at the time not even remembering that it had been nominated for a best picture. In terms of actual insight into the events it portrayed, it rated close to a zero. That is, unless you count Tom Hanks telling his hijacker, “You ah nawt a fishahman anymoah” as a particularly insightful statement (??). Great actor though, that Tom Hanks.
Look at him act! Look at him act! I know, right? Such an actor. I assume that’s the only reason this film exists.
While Phillips is probably a bit worse than some of its faux factual forebears (for one thing, Paul Greengrass’s underexposed shaky cam cinematography doesn’t go great with a tiny headrest screen), it’s basically par for the same course as
Lone Survivor, Argo, Parkland, The Iron Lady, etc. You know the type of movie. They purport to portray a real-life event, and you go in expecting some kind of insight, a new perspective, for something to be illuminated somehow, and instead you get a few chunks of things you already know braising in a stew of transparently bull**** embellishments. I know, I know,
Argo was mostly a crowd pleaser (not even I could deny the obvious joy of watching Alan Arkin and John Goodman spout vulgar one-liners about old Hollywood), but did anyone actually believe that the Iranian Jeep chasing the departing plane down the runway at the end was something that actually happened in real life? Or that in
Lone Survivor, that Marcus Luttrell was saved juuust at the nick of time, when a Taliban literally had his head on the chopping block when the good-guy Pashtuns showed up to save the day? Come on, not even your weird aunt with the email forwards is gullible enough to believe those scenes.