I'll admit it. I laughed when I read this:

When your cable goes out, you can’t study game film.

When you can’t study game film, you lose to Alabama.

When you lose to Alabama, you get depressed.

When you get depressed, you go out and buy a Harley.

When you buy a Harley, you meet hot young ex-volleyball players.

When you meet hot young ex-volleyball players, you go on joyrides.

When you go on joyrides, you end up in a roadside ditch.

Don’t end up in a roadside ditch.