Ha, suckers. That was just window dressing.
There remains no Unified Theory to explain why this "team" sucks so bad.
What I have posited, for several years now, is a theory that fully explained, for example, how T-Virus and Seabass could come to be pencilled in 1/2 when the former possessed the lowest OPS and the latter the lowest OBP in MLB. That theory is known as the Overt Sabotage by Manager (OSM) Premise.
Unfortunately, as fully as the OSM Premise did explain countless completely irrational managerial moves, it could not fully explain certain "team" phenomena. For example, how the soon-to-be-43-year-old Miguel Cairo came to be the Cincinnati DH against the Yankees in New York City tonight.
Or why 62-year-old Melvin Mora could possibly have received a first-class ticket on a Saturday red-eye into CVG.
For those and other such anomalies, I now propose the Covert Sabotage by General Manager (CSGM) Corollary. Combined with the OSM Premise, I'm confident that the CSGM Corollary will explain most, if not all, of the extremely questionable phenomena the average Reds fan will continue to experience this season.