Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock - RedsZone.com - Cincinnati Reds Fans' Home for Baseball Discussion

HotCorner · 08-08-2005, 11:50 AM

I don't know whether to laugh or wince ...

http://www.channelcincinnati.com/irr...44/detail.html

Quote:

BRENTWOOD, N.H. -- Emergency workers helped a New Hampshire man out of a difficult situation over the weekend after a friend apparently locked a padlock around his testicles.

According to the Portsmouth Herald, police reported that the 39-year-old man was intoxicated when they arrived at the scene on July 30 at about 3:40 a.m. The man, who was not identified, told them that he had the padlock around his testicles for two weeks.

The man said that a friend put the lock on while he was drunk and passed out. When he woke up, the friend was gone.

"Never in my 13 years have I seen anything like this," Cpl. H.D. Wood told the Herald.

The man told police that he tried to remove the lock with a hacksaw because the key had broken off in the lock.

He was taken to Exeter Hospital, where a locksmith removed the padlock. He was treated and released, and the hospital said he had no lasting injury.

Police said that they did not know the motive for the incident.

Johnny Footstool · 08-08-2005, 11:51 AM

Hazard pay for the locksmith.

wheels · 08-08-2005, 12:03 PM

Two weeks?

You'd think he woulda gone to the hospital or something sooner than that.

I remember one time......

Aww...Forget it.

remdog · 08-08-2005, 12:23 PM

I woner if his 'friend' was his ex-wife.

Rem

RedFanAlways1966 · 08-08-2005, 01:04 PM

I guess his "friend" likes to play ballgames.

He seems to get drunk a lot. I hope, for the love of God, he was sober when he was using that hacksaw.

Think of the number of suspicious wives who will be buying Master Locks in the next week or two.

Can we call this whole incident a "head" lock?

Is anyone aware that cock and lock rhyme?!? Poets, enjoy this one.

Reds Nd2 · 08-08-2005, 01:32 PM

Quote:

The man said that a friend put the lock on while he was drunk and passed out.

I guess he was locked and loaded.

KronoRed · 08-08-2005, 01:50 PM

Ouch.

This hurts to read

REDREAD · 08-08-2005, 03:39 PM

Maybe his friend was worried the family jewels would get stolen, so he locked them up

MrCinatit · 08-08-2005, 10:19 PM

he tried to take the thing off with a hacksaw!!????!!!! geez...why not use a blow torch, or simply a piece of dynomite.

words of wisdom: friends don't let friends put padlocks around their family jewels.

Falls City Beer · 08-08-2005, 11:05 PM

Just get your balls to the wall.

creek14 · 08-09-2005, 07:25 AM

I'm thinking women are the only people who find this even midly amusing.

RFS62 · 08-09-2005, 07:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by creek14

I'm thinking women are the only people who find this even midly amusing.

I'm thinking you're right.

SunDeck · 08-09-2005, 08:27 AM

Real friends don't touch another friend's package. For any reason. Period.

What was the encore supposed to be, caulking his butt?

08-08-2005, 11:51 AM	#2
Johnny Footstool Churlish Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Olathe, KS Posts: 13,664	Re: Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock Hazard pay for the locksmith. __________________ "I prefer books and movies where the conflict isn't of the extreme cannibal apocalypse variety I guess." Redsfaithful

08-08-2005, 12:03 PM	#3
wheels Dented and Spent Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Columbus, Ohio Posts: 6,533	Re: Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock Two weeks? You'd think he woulda gone to the hospital or something sooner than that. I remember one time...... Aww...Forget it. __________________ "Opening Day.... Pfffft! We get all excited, thinking they're gonna have some kinda great year....Same thing over and over. Disappointment. What time do you want me to come over?" - My Dad. Opening Day 2012.

08-08-2005, 12:23 PM	#4
remdog Member Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: Newport Beach, CA Posts: 7,942	Re: Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock I woner if his 'friend' was his ex-wife. Rem

08-08-2005, 01:04 PM	#5
RedFanAlways1966 For a Level Playing Field Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Oakwood, OH Posts: 11,242	Re: Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock I guess his "friend" likes to play ballgames. He seems to get drunk a lot. I hope, for the love of God, he was sober when he was using that hacksaw. Think of the number of suspicious wives who will be buying Master Locks in the next week or two. Can we call this whole incident a "head" lock? Is anyone aware that cock and lock rhyme?!? Poets, enjoy this one. __________________ Small market fan... always hoping, but never expecting.

08-08-2005, 01:50 PM	#7
KronoRed The Lineups stink. Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: West N. Carolina Posts: 55,342	Re: Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock Ouch. This hurts to read __________________ Go Gators!

08-08-2005, 03:39 PM	#8
REDREAD Where's my chair? Join Date: Apr 2000 Posts: 19,788	Re: Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock Maybe his friend was worried the family jewels would get stolen, so he locked them up __________________ Thank you Walt and Bob for going for it in 2012 AND 2013! Nov. 13, 2007: One of the greatest days in Reds history: John Allen gets the boot!

08-08-2005, 10:19 PM	#9
MrCinatit Baseball card addict Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Piqua Posts: 4,426	Re: Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock he tried to take the thing off with a hacksaw!!????!!!! geez...why not use a blow torch, or simply a piece of dynomite. words of wisdom: friends don't let friends put padlocks around their family jewels. __________________ whisper words of wisdom I wrote a book! My AmazonShort My other AmazonShort

08-08-2005, 11:05 PM	#10
Falls City Beer Member Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Philadelphia Posts: 24,098	Re: Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock Just get your balls to the wall.

08-09-2005, 07:25 AM	#11
creek14 Dunnilicious Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Beavercreek Posts: 11,774	Re: Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock I'm thinking women are the only people who find this even midly amusing. __________________ Will trade this space for a #1 starter.

08-09-2005, 08:27 AM	#13
SunDeck First Time Caller Join Date: Jun 2000 Posts: 5,224	Re: Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock Real friends don't touch another friend's package. For any reason. Period. What was the encore supposed to be, caulking his butt? __________________ Dusty Baker, second shooter. --Confirmed on Redszone.

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