Libel in an internet blog

[creek14]

A restraining order is a piece of paper. Nothing more. It's not going to protect you from a crazy person. You think people like that care about the threat of going to jail?

You need to distance yourself from everyone involved in this mess.

[Ltlabner]

Originally Posted by creek14

A restraining order is a piece of paper. Nothing more. It's not going to protect you from a crazy person. You think people like that care about the threat of going to jail?

You need to distance yourself from everyone involved in this mess.

Agreed...as much as you might like this girl, she sounds like she as much of the problem as the crazy guy. Something tells me that deep down inside, she likes being in the middle, stirring the pot and the attention. That's just a guess, and I don't mean to be an arm-chair advice giver but that's my take.

[CougarQuest]

Originally Posted by savafan

I was skeptical about her for a while, but after watching her for a bit while she was staying here with me, and in subsequent conversations, I pretty much trust her completely now.

As for the TPO, my grandmother, who works for a different police department, says that I shouldn't be too worried about it, because it will keep him away from me as well. I still don't understand how he managed to get one against me when I did absolutely nothing to him, but that's neither here nor there, it's not the first time I've called that particular police department and have it turn around to bite me in the butt...actually, it's the third time now.

I am curious about the TPO though, is this something that goes on my permanent record?

How did he get the TPO? That's why I told you to get a copy of the reports involving you/him/her. Those reports will have in them what each party said. I would suspect someone backed up his story, because if you didn't threaten him, then he has no physical evidence. Whatever his story is, bare minimum, included you threatening him. When the police went to talk to him, whom do you think might have been there with him to back up his story? I would HIGHLY encourage you to call for a Sergeant or above and do what I mentioned above. Be courteous and remember throughout your conversation that your goals are your safety and to clarify this situation.

You absolutely need to get a copy of the TPO (I'm surprised you weren't served). You need to see who you have to stay away from (just him or him and her, and if they have children it would probably include them too), and where you are not allowed to go (where he lives, where he works, possibly other places like schools, daycare centers, relatives of theirs). And how far (in feet) you must stay away from this person. This may sound easy, but if you walk into WalMart and he's in there, guess who has to leave? Bought tickets for some event and he's there, guess who has to leave? It would most likely also include prohibiting you from calling his house and place of employment, regardless of who your calling for. She have a cell phone? Who's name is it under?

A TPO doesn't really go on your "record" like an arrest or conviction. It doesn't come up in your local/state/federal criminal record, or your BMV portion of the record, but it comes up in your local/state/federal portions of the computer printout as a TPO. Anytime your are run through the law enforcement computer system, it will "pop" up, even nationwide. Which gives an appearance that you have been involved in wrongdoing. That may not matter to you (I'm assuming you aren't a person that is likely to have a media concern) unless you plan on changing jobs where an employer may want a background check completed in the next year or so. There's also other restriction possibilities.

TPO's are easily obtained. All you need to do is claim you are fearful. Many times, it's an abused part of the judicial system. Especially separated/divorcing situations. Some divorce attorneys automatically apply for them on behalf of their client.

Can I ask what area you live in (you can send it IM, if you prefer)? Based on comments, I suspect it's not far from Cincinnati/Dayton. I happen to know quite a lot of law enforcement / prosecutors in the tri-state area. I may be able to suggest someone to talk to specifically. Every police department is like any place of employment, you have your good employees and you have your not so good employees. And even the good employees have a bad day once in a while. Yeah, there human. Again, please call the Sergeant (or above).

[savafan]

CQ, I actually live in Dayton, but he lives in Miamisburg, which is the police department involved here.

Now you have picqued my interest. I'll find out the answers to these questions. I found out about the TPO from the 911 operator who called me back, is that S.O.P.?

[CougarQuest]

Originally Posted by savafan

CQ, I actually live in Dayton, but he lives in Miamisburg, which is the police department involved here.

Now you have picqued my interest. I'll find out the answers to these questions. I found out about the TPO from the 911 operator who called me back, is that S.O.P.?

Did you call Dayton P.D.? That is who you should have called to make a report about the phone calls.

A 911 operator?!? I've never heard of such a SOP.

[savafan]

There is no TPO yet. He's trying to get one. His mom said that I've been driving by their house menacingly from time to time...which is almost humorous to fathom, seeing as how I'd have no reason or desire to be near him.

Apparently, what I received from the 911 op was a warning not to go near their residence. As of now, the MPD doesn't see justification for serving me with a TPO, unless he has something more substantial.

[Team Clark]

Originally Posted by savafan

There is no TPO yet. He's trying to get one. His mom said that I've been driving by their house menacingly from time to time...which is almost humorous to fathom, seeing as how I'd have no reason or desire to be near him.

Apparently, what I received from the 911 op was a warning not to go near their residence. As of now, the MPD doesn't see justification for serving me with a TPO, unless he has something more substantial.

Sounds like the 911 Op was trying to "play cop". I can only encourage you to follow every bit of CQ's advice. His knowledge on these issues is infallible.

[Dracodave]

I feared this situation would arise with me within the last couple of weeks when I broke up with a very pyscho girlfriend.

Things were spoken and said that I really at the time thought were jokes. ("I'll kill you if you piss me off.", "I'll cut off your **** if I think you ever cheated on me".) Then as I really got to know her and spend more time with her I realized she WAS that crazy.

I alerted my college about it as she went there, my teacher has a degree in criminal justice so I went to him about it..Did pretty much like everyone here said.

Documented times and what was said. Documented the days where she followed me around school. Documented her and her new "boyfriend" following me around the parking lot, parking infront of my class, and listening into my phone conversations.

It was a horrible situation and I really dont "declare" myself out of the water yet. I don't trust what she tells other people about things nor do I trust what she told my school expecially after they approached me an said "Dave, if she says ANYTHING to you, anything at all. You come and report it to us that second okay?"

That really scared the bejeezus out of me.

So I know EXACTLY how your feeling Sava.

[CougarQuest]

Originally Posted by savafan

There is no TPO yet. He's trying to get one. His mom said that I've been driving by their house menacingly from time to time...which is almost humorous to fathom, seeing as how I'd have no reason or desire to be near him.

Apparently, what I received from the 911 op was a warning not to go near their residence. As of now, the MPD doesn't see justification for serving me with a TPO, unless he has something more substantial.

OK, that makes much more sense.

Basically what happened is the police were called and after hearing their side of the complaint, the officer requested the dispatcher to call you and say "No more. Whatever, if anything, your doing with this guy, stop it. He doesn't want you calling him and he doesn't want you visiting him. Just stay away from each other". The cops aren't saying you did do anything, what they ARE saying is that there is obvious tension, so stay away from each other from this point forward. If the tension continues or esculates, then there can be a TPO(s) issued or arrest(s) made. Your nemesis probably received the same warning/advice in person from the officer.

The police can give him the paperwork to fill out to have the courts issue a TPO, but the police (technically) can not issue a TPO. If the courts issue a TPO, then law enforcement or a court appointed person will be instructed to serve you with a copy of it. In certain instances, the courts have mandated that on certain crimes (for example, Domestic Violence) when the person fills out the paperwork and it's notorized (or a clerk or a law enforcement officer in situation where the person can not fill out the paperwork), the TPO becomes effective immediately (even if it hasn't been seen by the courts yet).

But it doesn't sound like it has even come close to reaching that point. What it sounds like is all you have at this point is a verbal warning to stay away from each other so it doesn't esculate.

Funny though, it was his mom that called.

[CougarQuest]

Originally Posted by Dracodave

I feared this situation would arise with me within the last couple of weeks when I broke up with a very pyscho girlfriend.

Things were spoken and said that I really at the time thought were jokes. ("I'll kill you if you piss me off.", "I'll cut off your **** if I think you ever cheated on me".) Then as I really got to know her and spend more time with her I realized she WAS that crazy.

I alerted my college about it as she went there, my teacher has a degree in criminal justice so I went to him about it..Did pretty much like everyone here said.

Documented times and what was said. Documented the days where she followed me around school. Documented her and her new "boyfriend" following me around the parking lot, parking infront of my class, and listening into my phone conversations.

It was a horrible situation and I really dont "declare" myself out of the water yet. I don't trust what she tells other people about things nor do I trust what she told my school expecially after they approached me an said "Dave, if she says ANYTHING to you, anything at all. You come and report it to us that second okay?"

That really scared the bejeezus out of me.

So I know EXACTLY how your feeling Sava.

Interesting that they had you do all that, but did they notify the campus police? Did anyone from the campus police or the college talk to her (tell her to stop)?

Just because you call the police doesn't mean that someone gets arrested in these situations. There are other options. You can have everything documented. Many times, (obviously not always) having someone in authority (the college or the police) telling the person to stop, will make them stop.

[Dracodave]

Originally Posted by CougarQuest

Interesting that they had you do all that, but did they notify the campus police? Did anyone from the campus police or the college talk to her (tell her to stop)?

Just because you call the police doesn't mean that someone gets arrested in these situations. There are other options. You can have everything documented. Many times, (obviously not always) having someone in authority (the college or the police) telling the person to stop, will make them stop.

The Dean of the school talked to her and thats why she stopped harrasing me. We have no campus police (I attend ITT in Norwood).

I have alot of friends that went to bat for me over it cause of her closeness to a teacher, whom at the time was following me as well. Which is pretty much off limits due to the contract they sign to teach there.

Basically what brought this all one was, she was "big" into her teacher. Their jokes even while she was dating me where getting out of hand and I had enough of it.

When I called her out on it, she told me she'd chose him over me. I told her that a)I'm not her cover up boyfriend. I will not be there for her anymore. b)I will not be speaking to her anymore and c)I would like it if she would leave me alone.

That progressed into her following me and finally a confrontation of "Are you done with you're little hissy fit with me?" Which she said infront of my teacher..who I had told everything to the entire time. He suggested I document everything and have the talk. Which I did.

[savafan]

I don't even know what to say now...this may well be on the way to becoming one of the craziest stories ever, ever, ever...

All I can say is that things are working out.