Favorite Movie Quotes

[BCubb2003]

"Everybody knows everybody's dying; that's why people are as good as they are."

[15fan]

Pulp Fiction is chock full of 'em. Two faves in our house are...

"Zed's dead, baby. Zed's dead."

And

"Ohmigod, I shot Marvin in the face!"

[Caveat Emperor]

"We've got a blind date with destiny, and it looks like she just ordered the lobster." - The Shoveler, Mystery Men

Matrix: Remember, Sully, when I promised to kill you last?
Sully: That's right, Matrix. You did.
Matrix: I lied.
- Commando

"Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy **** we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very ****** off. "
- Tyler Durden, Fight Club

"There's a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you. I been sayin' that **** for years. And if you ever heard it, it meant your ***. I never really questioned what it meant. I thought it was just a cold-blooded thing to say to a mother- before you popped a cap in his ***. But I saw some **** this mornin' made me think twice. Now I'm thinkin': it could mean you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mr. 9mm here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous *** in the valley of darkness. Or it could be you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. I'd like that. But that **** ain't the truth. The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd. "
- Jules, Pulp Fiction

[Jack Burton]

I have to return some videotapes.

Oh, uh, it's - cranberry juice. Uh, cran-apple.

I'm into... well murders and executions mostly.

- Courtesy of Patrick Bateman

[Blimpie]

Evelle: [about the balloons he just bought] These blow up into funny shapes and all?
Grocer: Well no... unless round is funny.

Raising Arizona

[flyer85]

King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.

Dennis: Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

Sir Lancelot: We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril.
Sir Galahad: I don't think I was.
Sir Lancelot: Yes, you were. You were in terrible peril.
Sir Galahad: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
Sir Lancelot: No, it's too perilous.
Sir Galahad: Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can.
Sir Lancelot: No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on.
Sir Galahad: Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?
Sir Lancelot: No. It's unhealthy.
Sir Galahad: I bet you're gay.
Sir Lancelot: Am not.

French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

Cleric: [reading] And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu...
Brother Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother...
Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.

[GAC]

Just watched O Brother Where Art Thou for the umpteenth time. Love that flick, and the character Delmar.

Pete: Wait a minute. Who elected you leader of this outfit?
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well Pete, I figured it should be the one with the capacity for abstract thought. But if that ain't the consensus view, then hell, let's put it to a vote.
Pete: Suits me. I'm voting for yours truly.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well I'm voting for yours truly too.
[Everett and Pete look at Delmar for the deciding vote]
Delmar O'Donnell: Okay... I'm with you fellas.

George Nelson: Cows! I hate cows worse than coppers! [fires his Tommy gun at them]
Delmar O'Donnell: Oh, George... not the livestock.

Tommy Johnson: I had to be up at that there crossroads last midnight, to sell my soul to the devil.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, ain't it a small world, spiritually speaking. Pete and Delmar just been baptized and saved. I guess I'm the only one that remains unaffiliated.

Pete: You miserable little snake! You stole from my kin!
Ulysses Everett McGill: Who was fixin' to betray us.
Pete: You didn't know that at the time.
Ulysses Everett McGill: So I borrowed it until I did know.
Pete: That don't make no sense!
Ulysses Everett McGill: Pete, it's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart

"And stay out of Woolworths!"

[redsfanmia]

Hal Williams "Im Dick Blacque your making a porno movie right? Then Im the man for you."

George C Scott "Sorry Im sure your very good Mr Black but your not the type were looking for, but if anything comes up I will give you a call."

Hardcore a very underrated movie.

[Razor Shines]

Originally Posted by The Baumer

"Did you ever have a touch to lose?"

That's a great one, but I like this one better:

"Don't complicate it. Your number one strength is you have a car you can provide. Sell yourself! Start over. Ready, go!"

[flyer85]

Originally Posted by redsfanmia

Hal Williams "Im Dick Blacque your making a porno movie right? Then Im the man for you."

George C Scott "Sorry Im sure your very good Mr Black but your not the type were looking for, but if anything comes up I will give you a call."

then he showed him his "stuff".

[vaticanplum]

"The greatest decade in the history of mankind is over, and as Presuming Ed has consistently pointed out, we have failed to paint it black." (Withnail & I)

"Buck up...never say die. We'll get along." (Modern Times)

[BoydsOfSummer]

"Those aren't pillows!"--Planes Trains and Automobiles

[dougdirt]

Lloyd: What are the chances of a guy like you and a girl like me... ending up together?
Mary: Well, that's pretty difficult to say.
Lloyd: Hit me with it! I've come a long way to see you, Mary. The least you can do is level with me. What are my chances?
Mary: Not good.
Lloyd: You mean, not good like one out of a hundred?
Mary: I'd say more like one out of a million.
[pause]
Lloyd: So you're telling me there's a chance.

Lloyd: Mary... I desperately wanna make love to a school boy.

Harry: According to the map we've only gone 4 inches.

Dumb and Dumber may be the funniest movie ever

[GAC]

"Our daddy may have advanced delusionary schizophrenia with involuntary narcissistic rage. But he is a very gentle person!"

Shonte Jr.: Damn. I can't figure out the atomic mass of this (blanking) deutron!
Jamaal: ***, that's simple. Tell me this-what's a deutron made of?
Shonte Jr.: A proton and a neutron.
Jamaal: Then what's this (blanking) electron doing over here?
Shonte Jr.: I don't know.
Jamaal: Well get it outta there then!

Hank Evans: So, what's your tale, Mother Goose? Where ya from?
Irene P. Waters: Oh, all over.
Hank Evans: Omnipresence. I like that in a woman.

Shonte Jr.: Man how the hell can they call Pluto a planet? No (blanking) planet has an elliptical orbit. This **** don't make no sense.

[Jack Burton]

--John Kreese

Fear does not exist in this dojo, does it?

We do not train to be merciful here. Mercy is for the weak. Here, in the streets, in competition: A man confronts you, he is the enemy. An enemy deserves no mercy

Sweep the leg

This is a karate dojo, not a knitting class. You don't come into my dojo, drop a challenge and leave, old man. Now you get your boy on the mat, or you and I will have a major problem.