Funniest DUMB thing you've ever done

[Screwball]

For those of us that have ever done something so dumb that it's comical, this is the thread for you. I'll begin with a story of my own, that I did just yesterday, and by my estimations will be pretty tough to beat. Sorry it's so long, hopefully it'll be worth it...

I pulled into the local gas station just off the highway after work. I put the gas pump into the tank, set the automatic pump thingy, and walked inside the station to get a drink and a snack. The lady in front of me in line needed to buy about 47 scratch-offs and 96 lottery tickets, so by the time they got to ringing me up my patience was running thin. I wasn't really in a rush to get anywhere, but just wanted to get home after a long day of school and classes. I paid for my Combos and Mountain Dew as fast as I could, and was out the door.

I walked back over to my car and got in. I started her up, put it in Drive and pulled away. I heard a low, grumbling crunch as I took off, but it abruptly stopped after I straightened up the wheels, so I figured it was nothing and went on my way back to my place, which is only a half mile or so away. As I was driving down the street, I passed by a driver who was waiting to turn onto the road, and I looked at him. His mouth was wide open, and he was shaking his head as I passed. I said to myself, "What the hell's this guy's problem," and as I said that, I saw something in the side view mirror.

"Oh CRAP!" I yelled out. There I was, driving down the road with four feet of a freaking severed gas pump hanging out of my gas tank. I pulled off as soon as I could, hoping nobody else noticed, but of course they had on this busy afternoon. One guy pulled in behind me to let me know about the freaking severed gas pump I was hauling around. I told him I now saw it and thanked him for stopping, but I could tell from the look on his face he couldn't wait to get to work the next day to tell everyone about the dumbass that drove off with a gas pump in his tank, lol.

Well, I had to go back to the gas station then, tail between my legs, not knowing what to expect. Is there going to be gas leaking all over?, How much is this going to cost to fix? I kept wondering to myself. I pulled back into the now dysfunctional pump station and noticed no gas leaking, which was a relief. One of the attendants came out and I told her what had happened. She didn't laugh or even offer a hint of a smirk and said to just leave the hose next to the pump, and she'd take care of it later. Apparently, this had happened before, and the pump hose is designed to break away for just such an occasion.

So, all in all, I didn't do any damage (besides to my pride), and it didnt cost me anything (besides some ego points), and I get a knee slapper of a story out of it. Anybody else (almost) as dumb as me??

[TheNext44]

Been there, done that, Screwball. I think more people than that want to admit have.

As for my funny dumb things I've done, Redszone doesn't have enough bandwidth for me to describe them all. I'll try to narrow it down and get back to you on that.

[RichRed]

I'm going to have to sort mine into categories - such as Things Done While Drunk, Things Done While Sober, and Plumbing - and get back to you.

[gilpdawg]

One time a long time ago, I think I was only 16 or so, I put a bunch of CDs (remember those?) on the top of my car for a second because my hands were full. Of course, I drove off with them still there. Of course they were toast.

[bucksfan2]

Originally Posted by TheNext44

Been there, done that, Screwball. I think more people than that want to admit have.

As for my funny dumb things I've done, Redszone doesn't have enough bandwidth for me to describe them all. I'll try to narrow it down and get back to you on that.

Yep. Did that a couple of years ago. Paid at the pump with a credit card, walked inside to get a drink, got back in and drove away only to hear a snap. I stopped and the hose was still in the tank. I got out, took out the hose and set it by the tank. I would imagine that you need to have an automatic shut off on all those gas tanks.

[Hoosier Red]

Originally Posted by bucksfan2

Yep. Did that a couple of years ago. Paid at the pump with a credit card, walked inside to get a drink, got back in and drove away only to hear a snap. I stopped and the hose was still in the tank. I got out, took out the hose and set it by the tank. I would imagine that you need to have an automatic shut off on all those gas tanks.

I did that in Germany once.
Once.

[OldRightHander]

I prepaid for some gas once and drove off without pumping it. I got a couple miles down the road and when I was still sitting on empty, I figured something was wrong. I went back to pump it and the attendant was laughing his head off.

[Hoosier Red]

I did that one too ORH, I always go into the store to buy some pops and put them on the Shell card and one time I drove off. Some other guy had pulled in by the time I got back and he couldn't figure out why the pump would only pump $25 in gas.

[pedro]

I got locked in the library at OU when the library closed and had to call security to let me out when I realized I was the only person there.

[Roy Tucker]

Moved into a house at OU and had to light the pilot light on the gas heater. The directions said to let the gas run for 30 seconds before lighting. I turned it on, got distracted (I won't say why), and lost track of time. Came back later, lit a match, and ka-whump. My roommates found me on the floor smoking and I don't mean cigarettes.

I've done the drive-off with the nozzle in the gas tank too. Drove the family home from Cape Cod to Mason in a straight shot and had to get gas at hour 18.5 of a 19 hour drive. Clankthunkwhonk... what's that?... whoops. Didn't tear the hose off though.

[Dom Heffner]

One time I stuck my hand into a set of running cake beaters just to prove to my mother that they wouldn't cut them off.

Dumb, dumb, dumb...

[Scrap Irony]

While in college, I was working at Sbarro's, a pizza chain in most malls with mirrors all over the front of the restaurant. I had worked four days in a row, and, as a result, was down to my last pair of black pants. They, of course, had a broken zipper, but were otherwise just fine. So, putting an apron over my open zipper so no one would notice, I went ahead and worked.

Fast forward a couple hours. Rush hour noon on a Saturday. Christmas season. Making pizza after pizza after pizza. Pulled out a particularly difficult loaded supreme with my apron. Noticed the septagenarian notice me. In, like, a thousand mirrors.

Apologized profusely. She said it was alright, that she had been married before for almost 50 years and had seen "one of those". A comic pause, then, "Of course, it had been a few years."

[GIDP]

Rosie O' Donnel

[TheNext44]

Originally Posted by OldRightHander

I prepaid for some gas once and drove off without pumping it. I got a couple miles down the road and when I was still sitting on empty, I figured something was wrong. I went back to pump it and the attendant was laughing his head off.

When I was 16 and driving legally for a full 72 hours, I decided to try the Wendy's drive through. I got totally confused by the whole two window deal, paid at the first one and then just drove off. I was too embarrassed to go back for my double cheeseburger, fries and frosty.

[dabvu2498]

Originally Posted by OldRightHander

I prepaid for some gas once and drove off without pumping it. I got a couple miles down the road and when I was still sitting on empty, I figured something was wrong. I went back to pump it and the attendant was laughing his head off.

I once paid for fast food and drove off as soon as I got my change.

No sandwiches.

I pulled back in a few cars later and the girl handed me my bag. The order was not mine. I don't imagine anyone at that Wendy's that got got the food they actually ordered.