Funniest DUMB thing you've ever done

[GIDP]

Originally Posted by yab1112

Once in school I was trying to impress some girls so I stood between two desks with one hand on each one. I lifted myself up and started swinging my whole body back and forth. It took about two swings before the weight I was putting on the desks made them slide away from me, at which point I had nothing holding me up and I promptly faceplanted into the floor.

ROFL this is only funny because the perfect mental image you can get from it. HA

[Kingspoint]

That's a category in and of itself....

Dumb things the Y-chromosome does to impress the X-chromosome.

[TheNext44]

Originally Posted by Kingspoint

That's a category in and of itself....

Dumb things the Y-chromosome does to impress the X-chromosome.

Exactly.

For those interested in that, I recommend this book...

Men Are Stupid, Women Are Mean

[GAC]

My list would be quite extensive.

For starters.... see redhawkfish's signature.

[Razor Shines]

Originally Posted by Kingspoint

It was "fixed".

It was the ref's fault.

The Sun got up on the wrong side of the Earth.

I meant the 2010-2011 season.

Finally! You should have come back in the thread and said that.

[Kingspoint]

Originally Posted by Razor Shines

Finally! You should have come back in the thread and said that.

It was too hard to do it. I couldn't even open the thread. I'll look at it next year.

[Razor Shines]

Ok, so something I did a while ago, but haven't been able to admit on here.

So some time last year I started listening to the Avett Brothers. The first time I listened to them my wife and I were listening to their "Live Vol. 3" album and the song "Murder in the City" was starting to play.

My wife, who already knew the song, said "Oh, this is my favorite song of theirs" and turned up the car volume.

I thought the opening line was "Fa(gay guy) murdered in the city.."

I didn't say anything and listened to the song and I was pretty confused. Afterwards, I said "So, that song was about hate crimes...in some way??"

She just looked at me and said "huh, what?" So I told her what I thought the line was and she laughed and she laughed. Finally she told me the line is "IF I GET Murdered..." and I felt pretty stupid.

We were driving home from her sister's yesterday and listening to that "Live Vol. 3" and she reminded me of how dumb I was when "Murder in the City" began to play.

[Eric_the_Red]

Originally Posted by Razor Shines

Ok, so something I did a while ago, but haven't been able to admit on here.

So some time last year I started listening to the Avett Brothers. The first time I listened to them my wife and I were listening to their "Live Vol. 3" album and the song "Murder in the City" was starting to play.

My wife, who already knew the song, said "Oh, this is my favorite song of theirs" and turned up the car volume.

I thought the opening line was "Fa(gay guy) murdered in the city.."

I didn't say anything and listened to the song and I was pretty confused. Afterwards, I said "So, that song was about hate crimes...in some way??"

She just looked at me and said "huh, what?" So I told her what I thought the line was and she laughed and she laughed. Finally she told me the line is "IF I GET Murdered..." and I felt pretty stupid.

We were driving home from her sister's yesterday and listening to that "Live Vol. 3" and she reminded me of how dumb I was when "Murder in the City" began to play.

A couple weeks ago I listened to the same record and thought it said the same thing. Then I looked up the lyrics.

[Jefferson24]

I hooked my dog's leash around the car antenna did a few other things forget he was there and backed up and then went on down the road about two blocks. He got some road burn and had to have his paws bandaged up for a week or so. He fully recovered and never held it against me. That was just a real dumb thing, dog was lucky, he could have been easily killed. This happened in 1994, dog passed in 2005 he was a real good dog.

[medford]

Originally Posted by Jefferson24

I hooked my dog's leash around the car antenna did a few other things forget he was there and backed up and then went on down the road about two blocks. He got some road burn and had to have his paws bandaged up for a week or so. He fully recovered and never held it against me. That was just a real dumb thing, dog was lucky, he could have been easily killed. This happened in 1994, dog passed in 2005 he was a real good dog.

Do you know what the penalty is for that in this state?

[Jefferson24]

No idea. The vet said it happens more frequently than you would think, he sees it a number of times each year.

[RBA]

Originally Posted by Jefferson24

No idea. The vet said it happens more frequently than you would think, he sees it a number of times each year.

I guess you are not a fan of Vacation.

[Jefferson24]

Originally Posted by RBA

I guess you are not a fan of Vacation.

I have seen it. My brain was not registering on that level when I first read the response. Takes me while sometimes.

[Jefferson24]

Originally Posted by Kingspoint

At a baseball game in while in College and I went to get the beers. (Single-A game)

We're sitting down at the 3rd base line and there were a couple of fat chicks in front of us with their legs on the seats in front of them tanning their stretched out legs.

As I'm coming back with the beers, one in one hand, and two in one of those cardboard drink cup containers. Instead of going down to the aisle and going up the row, I decide to take a short-cut diagonally across the seats.

About two rows from our seat, I trip, and of course my only desire is to save the beers.

With no hope of regaining my footing, I sprawl out length-wise handing the single beer in my left hand to a buddy.

With the beers in the cardboard carrier in my right hand I'm able to save them as my prostrate body slams into the back of the seats the girls are sitting in. One of the fat chicks is catapulted completely into the seat in front of as if she had been sitting there all along.

I'm not sure which was funnier....her being catapulted into the seat in front of her, or my flying through the air landing on the ground, but saving all three beers.

I'm lying on the ground below our seats, and the most important part.....neither beer was spilled.

I tripped getting into a hot tub while on vacation in Mexico. I was holding a beer. Every part of me went under except for the hand with the beer. I spilled a little but substantially saved the Corona.

[Cuban_Missile]

I can't tell who was dumber in this story me or the guy I said it to.

This past winter I was working my security job at the Beach in Mason. We were open for Holiday Fest, (basically outdoor ice skating, carriage rides, and Santa.) I was with my co-worker Gordon Bombay freezing outside and all we had to heat us was a propane heater. Now if anyone has ever seen or used a propane heater you know the heating unit just attaches just to the top of the propane tank and burns the propane to heat the top metal head.

With that being said we were at the admissions turnstiles getting receipts, tickets, and checking bags. After doing this in single digit days all day everyday you tend to get very cold and very bored. So Gordon and I started messing around shooting the receipt paper in the head of the propane heater and watching it catch fire and burn up. It was something simple and fun to get our minds off the cold and boredom.

Then I took it to the next level and made a huge wad and crammed it in between the grates and watched it catch and start to burn, just at that moment 4 customers come walking up to the turnstiles. As they were entering the most redneck of the bunch the older man said, "Boys your heater is smoking over here."

Without thinking twice I looked over at him and admitted what I had done but tried to play it off by saying, "Yeah that is just the paper in the bottom, it does that sometimes." Thinking I had been caught or this guy would have looked at me like I was an idiot.

But on the contrary he sat there looking at the burning paper for a minute that clearly was not part of the heater or the way it functioned and looked back at us and proclaimed, "Well ok then, look honey that heater also burns paper. It must be a hybrid to save gas and go green, WE NEED TO GET ONE! Our heater just burns the gas and says not to put paper in it!"

Gordon Bombay and I are rolling with laughter at this point and turn around just in time to watch the older man wad up his receipt and jam it right into the heater proclaiming, "This whole going green thing is fun!"