Women: Would You Date an Unemployed Man?

[757690]

Originally Posted by camisadelgolf

True, but not every female is unwilling to date an unemployed man. That's not what I'm saying though. I'm overgeneralizing, but men care about how women look, and women care about how well men can provide. Both genders are guilty of being shallow.

Some evidence to back this up.

Divide people up by gender and sexual preference. You have four groups. Straight Men, Straight Women, Gay Men and Gay Women.

Of those four groups, which ones spend money and time making themselves look attractive for potential mates? Who works out, stays fit, dresses well, spends money and time on their hair and other physical attributes? Straight Women and Gay Men. Who are they trying to attract? Men.

Which groups don't spend much time on their appearance? Straight Men and Gay Women. Who are they trying to attract? Women.

This suggests that there is something biological in men that makes them most concerned with physical attraction, and something biological that makes women most concerned with personality, character, wealth, etc.

[vaticanplum]

Originally Posted by 757690

Some evidence to back this up.

Divide people up by gender and sexual preference. You have four groups. Straight Men, Straight Women, Gay Men and Gay Women.

Of those four groups, which ones spend money and time making themselves look attractive for potential mates? Who works out, stays fit, dresses well, spends money and time on their hair and other physical attributes? Straight Women and Gay Men. Who are they trying to attract? Men.

Which groups don't spend much time on their appearance? Straight Men and Gay Women. Who are they trying to attract? Women.

This suggests that there is something biological in men that makes them most concerned with physical attraction, and something biological that makes women most concerned with personality, character, wealth, etc.

The only "evidence" I see here is a bunch of unsubstantiated stereotypes.

What "suggests" that any of this is biological? None of this is biological. If there's truth in any of these assertions, it's conditioning. Not every society expects or has expected men to be breadwinners. Additionally, at many times in history, men were far and away the more dressed-up, cosmeticized sex -- arguably through most of history.

[757690]

Originally Posted by vaticanplum

The only "evidence" I see here is a bunch of unsubstantiated stereotypes.

What "suggests" that any of this is biological? None of this is biological. If there's truth in any of these assertions, it's conditioning. Not every society expects or has expected men to be breadwinners. Additionally, at many times in history, men were far and away the more dressed-up, cosmeticized sex -- arguably through most of history.

These are broad characterizations, yes. Not meant to be anything more. But in understanding social issues, broad characterizations are very valuable.

I said nothing about men being breadwinners, just that men are generally more shallow and superficial than women. I think it's hard to deny that, just by looking at society and our dating rituals.

Maybe it's not biological, maybe it's social, but the fact that it gender based, but not connected to sexual preferences, suggests that it is not social.

[GAC]

Originally Posted by tixe

There are women on this board???????

All the Alpha males ran them off.

[Sea Ray]

Originally Posted by 757690

These are broad characterizations, yes.

And I don't see those broad characteristcs either. I see a lot of dumpy, out of shape gay men. Someone who looks like Greg Louganis is the exception at most gay parades from what I've noticed

[foxfire123]

Originally Posted by GAC

All the Alpha males ran them off.

*snerk!* riiiigghghht I grew up with 3 older brothers and one younger. I can take an "alpha male" down in .3 seconds!

[SunDeck]

So what's up with that? Us men will wine and dine an unemployed gal but the ladies sure feel differently. Sounds sexist to me...

I think it just shows that most of us realize our chances are pretty low and we adjust our standards accordingly.

I, for one, feel pretty lucky to have married into the deep end of the gene pool and nabbed one of the good ones before she knew what she was getting into.

[757690]

Originally Posted by Sea Ray

And I don't see those broad characteristcs either. I see a lot of dumpy, out of shape gay men. Someone who looks like Greg Louganis is the exception at most gay parades from what I've noticed

Maybe in the Midwest, where everyone is dumpy and out of shape. Lol

Go to any big city that has a large gay community. The out of shape gay men are the exception, and a large emphasis is placed on looking good in that community.

Also, there's this, which might explain what you see.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bear_(gay_culture)

[Rojo]

Originally Posted by Sea Ray

Let's hear everyone's thoughts. Think women are materialistic?

I don't think "materialistic" but I think women are more social and by extension more concerned with their place in the social hierarchy. A lot of us dudes just want to say f it and do a Jeremian Johnson.

[Rojo]

Originally Posted by oneupper

The fact is we (men & women) analyze our relationship prospects much like we do our baseball prospects.
It's rational, however un-romantic it may seem.

Rational choice theory is dead.

[Rojo]

Originally Posted by vaticanplum

the reason men are more willing to date unemployed women than the other way around is because of a societal standard that has made men feel disempowered if their female partners make more than they do. Thus they take less issue with a woman being unemployed because she's not a threat.

True. But I don't think it fair to put it all on us neanderthal men. Many women don't want to date anyone who makes less than they do. I've had girlfriends who wanted me to lie about my job.

[camisadelgolf]

If you think all the gay men in Cincinnati are out of shape, you're out of touch.

[Roy Tucker]

I don't see anything wrong with having checklist of what you want and don't want in a potential partner. And I'd put "no job" on the red flag list.

There may be mitigating circumstances and perfectly good reasons that would make me say "oh.. well that's fine then". But it's not the best way to start things. It's my life and I can be pretty darn picky.

[GAC]

I have a friend at work, just turned 50 and has been divorced twice, who just ended a relationship with a woman he met on-line several months ago. They both reside here in Ohio, but it was a long distance relationship (weekends). She wanted more of a commitment, and asked him to quit his job here at Honda and move in with her. I guess, due to her job, she is financially set. He wouldn't do it though, and I don't blame him because he's been at Honda for over 20 years and would basically be throwing that away if the relationship went sour.

I've known two women (casual friends) who were in relationships with guys whom they basically supported. While it was no concern of ours, most of us that knew them felt these guys were nothing but bums, taking advantage and living off them, and that the relationships wouldn't last. They didn't.

I do have a cousin in Cincy that is a house-husband though. They have one child, and his wife is an administrator who makes a very tidy living. They're content with the situation of her being the bread-winner. To each his own.

[Revering4Blue]

Interesting post from a woman on another message board about stay-at-home-husbands.

I think it would be heavenly. I have always worked, before marriage, and during both marriages and I suspect I will work till the day I fall over dead. On top of working, I have also done 99% of child care and house work and yard work. If I were to have a lapse of sanity and marry again, I would want a stay at home husband. Im salivating thinking about having my breakfast cooked and clothes laid out for me in the morning then after 8 hrs. come home to a clean house, clean laundry, beds made and a hot meal then sit on the couch and watch tv while he cleans up the kitchen and brings me a beer. Not have to worry about doing the shopping and paying bills or making appointments, gardening and canning or mending clothes. And I wouldnt be the one expected to cook for church socials and family reunions, buy the christmas, wedding and graduation gifts or decorate and cook for the holidays.

http://www.city-data.com/forum/relat...usbands-4.html