|06-16-2013, 01:35 AM||#11|
Join Date: May 2003
Location: The Mythological Land of Dayton, OH
Re: Votto: where's his head lately?
From the "Ask a Stupid Question, Get a Stupid Answer" File....
TOP TEN PLACES JOEY VOTTO'S HEAD HAS BEEN LATELY
10. Not thinking hard enough about RBI, obviously
9. As a native Canadian, he's obligated to care about the Stanley Cup, wasting valuable brain cells not wasted by opposing red-blooded Americans
8. Being photoshopped into fangraphs articles that were funny in theory, but disappointing in execution
7. Wait, so this means we're officially done worrying about his knee?
6. "If one of the things I get paid to do is having the coolest walk-up music on the team, then man alive, I hope they trade Frazier soon!"
5. Quietly pitying anyone who pays less than $7 for a cup of coffee
4. Scanning the other dugout, trying to determine which Cub will get a token All Star selection and how best to snub him this year
3. Having an impossible time deciding if Edward Snowden is a Hero, or just some guy who did what it took to get away from his girlfriend who is a really hot stripper, but who also seems like a giant load
2. Per your request, putting 110% of his concentration into not screaming "F*%K" at the top of his lungs
1. Attached to his neck