Originally Posted by
medford
She has some misplaced ideas in her head, IMHO. She has a 9 year old, unless their oldest is a special needs kids (if so, then this is a completely different subject) the 9 year old should be able to get themselves ready for the most part. As a parent you'll have to be sure they get everything done (brushing teeth, clothes on orderly, breakfast ate, etc...) but once their up, they shouldn't have a ton to do. The 4 year old may or may not be able to get themselves dressed, and even if they can (as is my case) its often quicker to just do it yourself. That will take some time, but its not a ton. At 4, (again I'm assuming they aren't a special needs child) they should be able to eat breakfast on their own once you set them up. Heck, my 4 year old often eats his breakfast in the car (applesauce "to go", banana, cearal bar or something of that ilk that transports easily in the car)
My task in the morning is to get the kids dressed/feed and ready most days. Since we have a 10 month old, my wife is still pumping milk in the morning. I get both kids up (if they don't wake up on their own) get the 4 year and 10 month old dressed, make sure the 4 year old brushes his teeth, get the 10 month old a bottle in the morning, pack up my wife's pumping bag for school, pack up bottles of the 10 month old for the sitters, check my son's backpack to make sure there isn't anything in there, get the 10 month in the carseat, get both in the car, and probably a few other odds and ends. I also get myself showered and dressed, overall I allow anywhere from an hour to 75 minutes to get them in the my wife's car including dressing/showering myself.
Your friend shouldn't have to do half the stuff I do in the morning, she shouldn't need an extra hour in the morning. The preschool bus picks up my son at the sitters house, unless she's going out of district/bussing zone for the day care/sitter and where her oldest goes to school, she should be able to do the same. Most day cares off some sort of school transportation in the mornings for people in her situation, there shouldn't be any need to make two seperate drop offs. There are also literally dozens' of day cares in any suburban/urban setting. She likely passes w/n a mile or two of several options that can serve her needs on the way to work. If she's making significantly longer travel distances for day care, then she's doing it out of her own choice.
When my wife leaves in the morning, and goes to the sitter's house/work, I can think of at least 10 day cares that she passes w/n a mile of, half of which she drives w/n eye site of. I know of at least 3 "sitters" she passes along the same route, and I'm sure there are many more that we don't know about.
Personally I don't think your friend is thinking everything thru. I don't think she's being honest w/ herself in the time requirements, or perhaps she's just looking for a sympathetic ear and embleshing her commtiments required of her kids. If she thinks she can find someone to come to her house for less than minimum wage to watch just her kids, well good luck. There may be options where she can "buddy" up w/ a neighbor in the same boat, maybe get someone to come to one house or the other and use the same at home car for multiple kids so she doesn't have to provide drop off outside of the neighborhood, I know my sister has done that in the past for her "at home" sitter.