Rob Schneider Buys A Full-Page Ad to Respond To a Movie Critic

[Unassisted]

Ex-SNLer and erstwhile movie star Rob Schneider didn't appreciate an off-hand comment that LA Times movie critic Patrick Goldstein made in a recent column. So he purchased full-page ads in yesterday's issues of the LA Times and Variety. Here's what Rob had to say.

Dear Patrick Goldstein, Staff Writer for the Los Angeles Times, My name is Rob Schneider and I am responding to your January 26th front page cover story in the LA Times, where you used my upcoming sequel to ‘Deuce Bigalow’ as an example of why Hollywood Studios are lagging behind the Independents in Academy nominations. According to your logic, Hollywood Studios are too busy making sequels like “Deuce Bigalow’ instead of making movies that you would like to see.

Well Mr. Goldstein, as far as your snide comments about me and my film not being nominated for an Academy Award, I decided to do some research to find what awards you have won. I went online and found that you have won nothing. Absolutely nothing. No journalistic awards of any kind, Disappointed, I went to the Pulitzer Prize database of past winners and nominees. I though, surely, there must be an omission. I typed in the name Patrick Goldstein and again, zippo—nada. No Pulitzer Prizes or nominations for a ‘Mr. Patrick Goldstein.’ There was, however, a nomination for an Amy Goldstein. I contacted Ms. Goldstein in Rhode Island, she assured me she was not an alias of yours and in fact like most of the World had no idea of your existence.

Frankly, I am surprised the LA Times would hire someone like you with so few or, actually, no accolades to work on their front page. Surely there must be a larger talent pool for the LA Times to draw from. Perhaps, someone who has at least won a ‘Cable Ace Award.’

Maybe, Mr. Goldstein, you didn’t win a Pulitzer Prize because they haven’t invented a category for “Best Third-Rate, Unfunny Pompous Reporter, Who’s Never Been Acknowledged By His Peers!”

Patrick, I can honestly say that if I sat you your colleagues at a luncheon, afterwards, they’d say “You know, that Rob Schneider is a pretty intelligent guy, I hope we can do that again.” Whereas, if you sat with my colleagues, after lunch, you would just be beaten beyond recognition.

For the record, Patrick, your research is shabby as well. My next film is not ‘Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo 2.’ It’s ‘Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo,’ in theaters EVERYWHERE August 12th 2005.

All my best,
Rob Schneider

You can go here and scroll to the bottom if you want to read the original remark that unleashed Hurricane Rob.

[KronoRed]

Well the critic did take it personal with the 3rd rate comic bit

[Johnny Footstool]

Rob Schneider stopped being funny the minute he left SNL. Sad, too, because his old stand-up routine was really good, and he was a decent performer on SNL.

This was just a promotional stunt on Schneider's part.

[Roy Tucker]

I hope Rob feels better now. I'm sure this has enamored him with all Hollywood critics and they'll go out of their way to praise his films now.

[RedFanAlways1966]

Would Rob be called Rabbit Ears in Hollywood? Maybe Bugs Schneider will work?

[Redsland]

He seems pretty tense for a gigolo.

[RBA]

Originally Posted by Johnny Footstool

Rob Schneider stopped being funny the minute he left SNL. Sad, too, because his old stand-up routine was really good, and he was a decent performer on SNL.

This was just a promotional stunt on Schneider's part.

Was he really funny on SNL? I didn't think so.

[Johnny Footstool]

Was he really funny on SNL?

Granted, that "Robmeister" character ("check out Steve, makin' copies") was awful, but some of his lesser-known characters were very funny. I liked "The Sensitive Naked Guy" character. He also did a great job in bit parts, because he was able to add jokes without going over-the-top.

[Cedric]

Schnieder is great. Love his work. Seriously, is there anything worse than a critic?

[M2]

A friend of mine and I actually came up with the theory that Rob Schneider is the David Cronenberg of comedy. All of his films seem to involve the human body going into revolt.

[Johnny Footstool]

All of his films seem to involve the human body going into revolt.

I agree. My body goes into revolt every time I see one of his films.

[Falls City Beer]

Instead of a full-page ad, why not an APB on his career?

(Couldn't resist.)

[RFS62]

He's still funny in bit roles, but he just can't carry a movie by himself.

[REDREAD]

Never was much of a fan of his. Never saw any of the movies where he was the main star. Mainly have seen him in bit role in Sly Stalone movies..

But his rebuttal was supposed to be funny, but it really wasn't. Would've been funnier if it wasn't so long winded and went into name calling.

[Joseph]

While I agree Rob isn't exactly a name that carries a movie, I think he was more than justified in doing this. Critics, as a group, serve little to no purpose. They are rarely entertaining, they have never swayed my opinion on a film/tv show/book etal, and most of the time they are obnoxious and just trying to make a name for themselves.

Oh well.