If a cow were stoned ..... how would you know? - RedsZone.com - Cincinnati Reds Fans' Home for Baseball Discussion

TeamCasey · 08-16-2005, 06:45 AM

Russian cows get new feed: marijuana
'I don’t know what the milk will be like after this,' drug agency officer says

Reuters
Updated: 5:03 a.m. ET Aug. 16, 2005

MOSCOW - Russia’s long winter will just fly by for a herd of Russian cows which, a newspaper reported on Tuesday, will be fed confiscated marijuana over the cold months.

Drug workers said they adopted the unusual form of animal husbandry after they were forced to destroy the sunflowers and maize crops that the 40 ton of marijuana had been planted among, Novye Izvestia daily reported.

“There is simply no other way out. You see, the fields are planted with feed crops and if we remove it all the cows will have nothing to eat,” a Federal Drugs Control Service spokeswoman for the Urals region of Sverdlovsk told the paper. “I don’t know what the milk will be like after this.”

Drug use in Russia took off with the decline of the Soviet Union and police have been fighting drug smugglers — often shipping heroin from Afghanistan — for years.

Such large hauls are relatively common, although they are normally burned.

MrCinatit · 08-16-2005, 07:30 AM

Those crazy Russians - what will they think of next.

GAC · 08-16-2005, 07:54 AM

TeamCasey · 08-16-2005, 08:12 AM

If a cow were really stoned, she'd probably get a craving for a Whopper with cheese and a chocolate shake.

Chip R · 08-16-2005, 08:55 AM

Quote:

“There is simply no other way out. You see, the fields are planted with feed crops and if we remove it all the cows will have nothing to eat,” a Federal Drugs Control Service spokeswoman for the Urals region of Sverdlovsk told the paper.

But if you feed them marijuana aren't they going to get the munchies? Then they'll want to eat more and pretty soon they won't have anything to eat. It's a vicious cycle.

RFS62 · 08-16-2005, 09:01 AM

.

REDREAD · 08-16-2005, 09:57 AM

It would be interesting if they observed the effect on the cows, but somehow I doubt they'll follow up on this.

GAC · 08-16-2005, 10:01 AM

And farmer Jones kept blaming his wife for stealin' his stash and wondered why the cows produced more whenever they heard Iron Butterfly!

Unassisted · 08-16-2005, 11:07 AM

There's no way that the USDA would let that milk go into the marketplace if that happened in this country.

westofyou · 08-16-2005, 11:41 AM

Quote:

If a cow were stoned ..... how would you know?

1. All the paper clips in the barn are gone

2. Lingering around the water trough due to cotton mouth

3. Looks like this guy

SunDeck · 08-16-2005, 01:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by westofyou

1. All the paper clips in the barn are gone

2. Lingering around the water trough due to cotton mouth

3. Looks like this guy

4. Hangs out for hours in the farmer's basement with her "friend", the donkey.

5. Has an insatiable appetite for gummi bears.

6. Can't hold her job at the Jiffy Lube.

7. Can recite entire episodes of South Park from memory.

8. Keeps yelling...."More COW BELL, Maaaan!"

9. Breathless laughter coming from her stall.

10. The obvious sign....bong ring around her snout.

KronoRed · 08-16-2005, 02:11 PM

Keeps a can if air freshener near by to hide the pot smell

OnBaseMachine · 08-16-2005, 02:19 PM

REDREAD · 08-16-2005, 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unassisted

There's no way that the USDA would let that milk go into the marketplace if that happened in this country.

that's interesting. I just assumed they were beef cows. I would think that it would eventually work it's way out of beef cows (not that I'd want my kids eating it).. Never thought about the possiblity of "herb milk" going to market.

SunDeck · 08-16-2005, 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by REDREAD

that's interesting. I just assumed they were beef cows. I would think that it would eventually work it's way out of beef cows (not that I'd want my kids eating it).. Never thought about the possiblity of "herb milk" going to market.

What flavor would Ben and Jerry call ice cream made with that stuff?

08-16-2005, 06:45 AM	#1
TeamCasey Member Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: TeamBoone's Attic Posts: 12,317	If a cow were stoned ..... how would you know? Russian cows get new feed: marijuana 'I don’t know what the milk will be like after this,' drug agency officer says Reuters Updated: 5:03 a.m. ET Aug. 16, 2005 MOSCOW - Russia’s long winter will just fly by for a herd of Russian cows which, a newspaper reported on Tuesday, will be fed confiscated marijuana over the cold months. Drug workers said they adopted the unusual form of animal husbandry after they were forced to destroy the sunflowers and maize crops that the 40 ton of marijuana had been planted among, Novye Izvestia daily reported. “There is simply no other way out. You see, the fields are planted with feed crops and if we remove it all the cows will have nothing to eat,” a Federal Drugs Control Service spokeswoman for the Urals region of Sverdlovsk told the paper. “I don’t know what the milk will be like after this.” Drug use in Russia took off with the decline of the Soviet Union and police have been fighting drug smugglers — often shipping heroin from Afghanistan — for years. Such large hauls are relatively common, although they are normally burned.

08-16-2005, 07:30 AM	#2
MrCinatit Baseball card addict Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Piqua Posts: 4,428	Re: If a cow were stoned ..... how would you know? Those crazy Russians - what will they think of next. __________________ whisper words of wisdom I wrote a book! My AmazonShort My other AmazonShort

08-16-2005, 07:54 AM	#3
GAC What Me Worry? Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Bellefontaine, Ohio Posts: 26,430	Re: If a cow were stoned ..... how would you know? __________________ "panic" only comes from having real expectations

08-16-2005, 08:12 AM	#4
TeamCasey Member Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: TeamBoone's Attic Posts: 12,317	Re: If a cow were stoned ..... how would you know? If a cow were really stoned, she'd probably get a craving for a Whopper with cheese and a chocolate shake.

08-16-2005, 09:01 AM	#6
RFS62 Hey Cubs Fans Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: New York Posts: 16,571	Re: If a cow were stoned ..... how would you know? . Attached Thumbnails __________________ "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." ~ Mark Twain

08-16-2005, 09:57 AM	#7
REDREAD Where's my chair? Join Date: Apr 2000 Posts: 19,883	Re: If a cow were stoned ..... how would you know? It would be interesting if they observed the effect on the cows, but somehow I doubt they'll follow up on this. __________________ Thank you Walt and Bob for going for it in 2012 AND 2013! Nov. 13, 2007: One of the greatest days in Reds history: John Allen gets the boot!

08-16-2005, 10:01 AM	#8
GAC What Me Worry? Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Bellefontaine, Ohio Posts: 26,430	Re: If a cow were stoned ..... how would you know? And farmer Jones kept blaming his wife for stealin' his stash and wondered why the cows produced more whenever they heard Iron Butterfly! __________________ "panic" only comes from having real expectations Last edited by GAC; 08-16-2005 at 10:03 AM.

08-16-2005, 11:07 AM	#9
Unassisted RZ Chamber of Commerce Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: San Antonio Posts: 13,246	Re: If a cow were stoned ..... how would you know? There's no way that the USDA would let that milk go into the marketplace if that happened in this country. __________________ /r/reds

08-16-2005, 02:11 PM	#12
KronoRed The Lineups stink. Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: West N. Carolina Posts: 55,349	Re: If a cow were stoned ..... how would you know? Keeps a can if air freshener near by to hide the pot smell __________________ Go Gators!

08-16-2005, 02:19 PM	#13
OnBaseMachine Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 34,692	Re: If a cow were stoned ..... how would you know? __________________ I miss Adam Dunn.

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