The Brushback's NL Preview

[tts1stros]

http://www.thebrushback.com/nlpreview.htm

OK, so they didn't have a lot of good stuff to say about the Reds or Cincinnati (to put it mildly), but it's an entertaining read. Warning: there's some light profanity, nothing major.

My favorite parts.
On the Braves:

The Braves have a lot of new faces and a few untested players, but that shouldn’t stop them from falling just short this year.

On the Mets:

With a rotation of Pedro Martinez, Aaron Heilman, Tom Glavine, and Victor Zambrano, the Mets know they have 2 pitchers they can count on to win some games for them.

On the Cardinals:

They signed Sidney Ponson, who is hoping to rebound from his entire career to have a good 2006.

On the Astros:

The team’s weakness is its starting lineup, which is unfortunate because starting lineups are important parts of baseball teams.

On the Pirates:

Manager Jim Tracy said that losing is “unacceptable,” which means they’re still going to lose but now they're not going to accept it, for what that’s worth.

On the Cubs:

Kerry Wood may not be ready in time for opening day. That sentence should be engraved on a plaque on the wall of the manager's office at Wrigley Field.

Mark Prior was dangled as trade bait in the offseason for shortstop Miguel Tejada, probably because the Cubs would prefer someone who is actually good, rather than someone who is theoretically good.

On the Diamondbacks:

The D’Backs acquired Javier Vazquez and Troy Glaus last year in an aggressive push to finish fourth in their division, which went horribly wrong when they actually finished second. Consequently both players are gone.

The weakness of this team lies in its starting rotation. Jesus, who assembled this group, Corky? OK, Brandon Webb is serviceable. Miguel Batista is a fine poet and plays a mean wood flute, but he’s not much of a pitcher. Oh, and the less said about Russ Ortiz the better. Welcome to Loserville, people. Population: the entire D’backs pitching staff.

[TeamBoone]

Nasty is right! My comments are bolded.

Cincinnati Reds
Strength:
N/A [Offense?]

Weakness:
If there’s a more spineless city in North America than Cincinnati, I haven’t seen it. [What the .... does that mean?]

Question mark:
Ken Griffey Jr has yet to fulfill the potential he had when he was acquired by the Reds a few years ago. But that’s OK. It’s better to have a slow, steady ascent to greatness than to blow up too fast. [I guess he hasn't been watching the WBC]

Outlook:
Adam Dunn will strike out 5 times before you finish reading this sentence. [Ugh!]

[Edd Roush]

Huh, I don't understand the sentiment of Cincinnati being spineless, if some one would like to enlighten me, that would be much appreciated.

BTW, I have no idea how an offense which scored an NL leading 820 runs can not be considered a strength.

Plus, how can a pitching staff that gave up a whopping 889 runs not be considered a weakness.

Reading about the Reds in that article= a waste of my time.

[KronoRed]

Considering his bash on Dunn I'm guessing he doesn't see the O as a strength because we don't manafature runs.

its supposed to be a joke. the fact that the author is so ignorant and ill-informed is part of the joke

[tts1stros]

He's not actually being serious, guys.

Methinks he wrote "N/A" on Strengths to exaggerate the fact that he doesn't think the Reds will be a good team. I'm sure he realizes they lead the league in offense last season.

I don't think he actually believes Kaz Matsui and Jose Reyes "couldn't turn a double play if you spotted them an out", or that the Silver Slugger award winners are drawn out of a hat each year.

[VI_RedsFan]

Whoever wrote that article is a true idiot. How is our strength N/A? And what the hell does the sentence in weakness mean?

[VI_RedsFan]

Oh I see. It's a joke. Thanks for clearing that up tt1stros and yo2255.

[TeamBoone]

Well it's really not very funny. Not very funny at all.

To me, it just makes the author look dumb. If it's a joke, why not say so. Had I known, I might have been able to see the humor in it... maybe.

[ochre]

I agree. Somebody should send them some of Redsland's, or BCubb's work and they can just paste it into the reds section next time.

[WMR]

If he was trying to be humorous, he failed miserably. And I am one who appreciates good satire.

maybe he didnt think he had to preface something that was so obviously a joke with "this is a joke"

[WMR]

All of his comments about Cincinnati and the Reds are more in line with 'stupid' than 'haha, what a funny joke.'

If you're looking to make fun of the Reds in an article, there's A LOT of material to work with. LOL, what he came up with is pretty lame, IMO.

i guess its all in the eye of the beholder. non-reds fans seemed to get a kick out of the Reds entry, based on the other message boards i've been on

[ochre]

If it makes you feel any better I didn't find any of it particularly witty. Not just the part about the Reds.
This stuff I find to be enormously funny though.