Screw You Guys, I'm Rich and I'm Buyin' a 30 Million Dollar Car!

[Razor Shines]

Yeah, I just got this email last night:

barrteddy_williams@hotmail.com
mailed-bybluewin.ch

hide details 8:29 PM (5 hours ago) Reply

I Barrister Teddy Williams wish to notify you that late Engr Jurgen Krugger made you a beneficiary to his WILL. He
left the sum Thirty Million, One Hundred Thousand Dollars(USD$30, 100.000.00) to you in the last testament to his WILL.

This all seems very official, as most of you know almost every law firm uses hotmail as their official email. I'm not exactly sure who Jurgen Krugger was, but he was obviously an extremely wise dude. It's about time someone on this planet noticed how great I am and how much I deserve to be handed a ton of money. This is gonna be great! I'm gonna have all this money and people are gonna love me. And then they will come to me and beg! And if I feel like it I will help them out and then they'll owe me big time. I'm probably gonna need a driver.

[camisadelgolf]

Congratulations, Razor. I'm really happy for you. I have a valid Ohio drivers license, and I would be thrilled to drive you around.

[LoganBuck]

What do you know I won a lottery as well

This is to inform you of the release of SOUTHEAST ASIA INTERNATIONAL PROMOTIONS ORGANIZATION PRIZE DRAW, held on the 5th of JANUARY 2009, but owing to some mix up of numbers and addresses and the holidays, the results were released on the 1st of MARCH 2009.

Your name was attached to ticket number 096-12076077-09 with serial number 42690-0 that drew the lucky numbers of 03-05-12-14-28-38, which consequently won the lottery in the 5th category. You have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay of $25.000,000.00.

[redsmetz]

Razor, can we count on you personally bolstering Redszone's coffers for a couple of years courtesy of your late, great Uncle Jurgen?

[Degenerate39]

We should all put our money together from these emails and buy the Reds!

[BCubb2003]

Looks like they thawed out Ted Williams and he became a ... barrister?

[Root Down]

Originally Posted by LoganBuck

What do you know I won a lottery as well

Nice win on the Pyongyang sweepstakes! Do you have to go there to pick up your check?

[WVRed]

Hi, I am a Prince of Nygerian Royaltee, and I would like for you to send me money. Please ignore the fact that I cannot spell Nigerian, or royalty.

[BCubb2003]

Hi. I knew more about baseball than any man alive, bet on my own team, and lost money.

[redsmetz]

RE: £10,000,000.00 (TEN MILLION BRITISH POUNDS STERLING)

I am Mr. Kelvin Smith, the account officer of a foreigner, who was an oil
Consultant/contractor with Shell Petroleum Corporation. Moreover before his
untimely death, he was actively involved in Oil {Petroleum} Exploration/Export
business in UK on the 5th of January, 2003. He died with heart related
complication. We sent a routine notification to his forwarding address but got
no reply. Several enquiries to locate any of his extended relatives, has
proved unsuccessful. I decided to trace his relatives over the Internet to
locate any member of his family but of no Avail, hence I contacted you.

The total sum, £10,000,000.00 (Ten Million British Pounds Sterling) is still
in my bank and the interest is being rolled over with the principal sum at the
end of each year. In accordance with the British Banking Laws and
constitution, if declared Unserviceable by the bank, the money will reverted
to the ownership of the British Government if nobody applies as the next of
Kin to claim the funds.

That is why I am seeking for your consent/cooperation to present you as the
foreign partner to stand as the Next of Kin of the deceased, so that the
proceeds of this account valued at £10,000,000.00 (Ten Million British Pounds
Sterling) can be paid to you. The sharing ratio will be, 50% to me and 45% to
you, while 5% should be for expenses or tax as your government may require. I
will obtain all necessary legal documents that will be used to back up the
claim we are making. All I require is your honest co-operation and
confidentiality to enable us see this deal through. I guarantee that this will
be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any
breach of the law.

If you are really interested in this offer email me back.

Yours Faithfully,

Mr. Kelvin Smith

Well, I'm still trying to figure out how I'm going to stand in as Next of Kin, all at the same time the guy warrants he'll protect me from any breach of the law. What will I do, turn to him in court and ask, "what was the name of my dead relative again?".

And all this for a paltry 6.7 Million dollars (based on today's exchange rate) and he's only setting aside 3/4 million dollars for taxes (I don't think so!). Oh well, I guess I better get back to work since I have to pass on this fantastic and most generous offer. And I'm pretty broken up about old uncle/cousin whoever.