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Thread: The Divorce Thread

  1. #166
    Member BernieCarbo's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Rojo View Post
    I brought a pretty germane point about meeting people.

    I don't care about myself, I'm an old crank. But it's pretty tough for my son who broke up with a woman right before this whole thing went down. He smokes dope and plays video games. At age 30 I find that pretty pathetic but resist the urge to get on him about it.

    Because what is he supposed to do?

    "Get back out there......on Zoom!"
    There must be tons of women that would be attracted to a 30 year old guy who smokes dope and plays video games. Or maybe not.

    There are still plenty of ways to meet women. Maybe if he had some more interesting hobbies, he would.


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  3. #167
    Man Pills Falls City Beer's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by BernieCarbo View Post
    There must be tons of women that would be attracted to a 30 year old guy who smokes dope and plays video games. Or maybe not.

    There are still plenty of ways to meet women. Maybe if he had some more interesting hobbies, he would.
    My younger brother is a divorcee, a doctor (so pretty busy), and by all measures a pretty good looking guy (a bit Steve Carrell-looking) and is finding dating right now to be horrible. No nice restaurants, no babysitters, just general weirdness.

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  5. #168
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Falls City Beer View Post
    My younger brother is a divorcee, a doctor (so pretty busy), and by all measures a pretty good looking guy (a bit Steve Carrell-looking) and is finding dating right now to be horrible. No nice restaurants, no babysitters, just general weirdness.
    The best part about being a teacher is that I have disposal of babysitters at hand. Just one of the many perks of being one.

    In all seriousness, there's plenty of evidence that dating has sucked so much because of the rise of social media.

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  7. #169
    Man Pills Falls City Beer's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Todd Gack View Post
    The best part about being a teacher is that I have disposal of babysitters at hand. Just one of the many perks of being one.

    In all seriousness, there's plenty of evidence that dating has sucked so much because of the rise of social media.
    You may be right. Mercifully I got married in 95, before the dawn of smartphones.

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  9. #170
    Member BernieCarbo's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Grocery stores around 7PM are still the best place to meet women by far.

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    Todd Gack (10-23-2020)

  11. #171
    breath westofyou's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by BernieCarbo View Post
    Grocery stores around 7PM are still the best place to meet women by far.
    That's also a classic Happy Days episode.. introduced Lavern and Shirley

    https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0596133/

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    M2 (10-18-2020)

  13. #172
    Posting in Dynarama M2's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Friends don't let friends fWAR.

    Coddle thy pitchers.

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  15. #173
    Member Wonderful Monds's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Just wanted to say again that I appreciate all the really thoughtful replies in regards to my situation, I’ve been re-reading them constantly and thinking about them a lot over the last few days. Just wanted to make sure that was known.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bob Sheed View Post
    When it comes to crow, I'd like nothing more than to eat Dick's all season long and into the postseason.

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  17. #174
    Member BernieCarbo's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by westofyou View Post
    That's also a classic Happy Days episode.. introduced Lavern and Shirley

    https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0596133/
    I never saw that show, but it's probably accurate.

    I met my gf a couple of years ago in Kroger. She was behind me in the checkout line, and I heard her say "Excuse me, but you are very handsome."

    I turned around, and said, "Yeah, I get that a lot."

    Pause.

    "What about me?"

    I turned around again and checked her out and said "You're a looker, for sure."

    "Well, if you aren't married and don't have a girlfriend, maybe we could meet for coffee or something sometime?"

    The rest is history. We've been together ever since. We got engaged, but will never get married because of financial reasons, but we are a good match. I drive her crazy now and then, but she adapts.

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  19. #175
    Be the ball Roy Tucker's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    The problem my son has is that he’s a chef and works insane hours. They’ve cut back to the absolute bone to stay afloat. But the good news is he still has a job. So keep going to Rhinegeist and drink their beer and eat their OTR Chili. I told him the rest of it will happen when it does. Fate has a funny way of aligning the stars.
    “He smote Cutshaw athwart the floating ribs with an inshoot.”

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  21. #176
    Member BernieCarbo's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Roy Tucker View Post
    The problem my son has is that he’s a chef and works insane hours. They’ve cut back to the absolute bone to stay afloat. But the good news is he still has a job. So keep going to Rhinegeist and drink their beer and eat their OTR Chili. I told him the rest of it will happen when it does. Fate has a funny way of aligning the stars.
    Funny you mention that. I was just talking to another guy the other night that has had a hard time meeting someone, and I told him to just relax and let it happen. If you try too hard, women sense it and are put off by it. How many times has a guy started dating someone and then the women start coming out of the woodwork? It's because they are confident and relaxed and women love that.

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  23. #177
    Be the ball Roy Tucker's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by BernieCarbo View Post
    Funny you mention that. I was just talking to another guy the other night that has had a hard time meeting someone, and I told him to just relax and let it happen. If you try too hard, women sense it and are put off by it. How many times has a guy started dating someone and then the women start coming out of the woodwork? It's because they are confident and relaxed and women love that.
    Yep, that was pretty much the advice I gave him. I had to couch it softly because it was my wife and I having this conversation with him. I started to tell the story of when I was single and loved to cook so I’d invite women over and cook them dinner and a bottle of wine (or 2 or 3) but decided in midstream that maybe that wasn’t a good topic for my wife to hear. I managed to skate around it though. Obviously he is a great cook and does it as a hobby as well as a living. He’ll be fine.
    “He smote Cutshaw athwart the floating ribs with an inshoot.”

  24. #178
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Divorce sucks, and I would not recommend it for anyone unless they had reached a point of confidence the relationship needed to end. That said, fear of not being able to meet someone new should never stop someone from exiting a marriage. Divorce rates are astronomical....some marriages last less than 10 years, some around 10 years, 15 years, etc. The point is the "market" of single people of the preferred sex is being replenished every day of the week. It may happen fast or it may take a while...but if you make the effort, you will meet new people that you are interested in and are interested in you. Just be sure you have identified your own shortcomings in your initial marriage, and he/she has identified their shortcomings in their previous relationship....because if you fail to own those, then your new relationship will likely eventually end for similar reasons. Also, remember that everyone has "baggage" that is not 25 years old.....so don't allow your baggage keep you from being open to new relationships.

    I saw someone mentioned earlier the grocery store is a good place to meet people...and they are correct, but I would add that common places like the grocery store, gym, etc. all can be good places, make sure you are going to those places in the right areas of town. For example, these places near nice condo's or upscale apartment complexes are much better most of the time than these locations in areas of town where older couples and families are more common. Just saying that condo's and nice apartments are prime real estate for divorced males and females. Even if you have to drive an extra mile or three, it is worth it....and get in the habit of looking for the ring or absence of the ring. That was something that never even crossed my mind in my early 20's, but became a requirement after my divorce.
    “The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.”
    ― Marcus Aurelius

  25. #179
    Strategery RFS62's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Roy Tucker View Post
    I get to guide my son through this now. Not something I thought I’d be doing as a father.

    Sorry to hear that Roy.

    I know you'll tell him exactly what he needs to hear.

    Even if you're not sure what that is.

    It just comes to you.
    "Thinking is difficult. That's why most people judge" ~ C.G. Jung

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  27. #180
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Todd Gack View Post

    In all seriousness, there's plenty of evidence that dating has sucked so much because of the rise of social media.
    There's something reductive and clinical about online dating. I mean here's the best pic I ever took and I went to this school and have this job and this hobby. Whatever.

    People should meet in bars. You can see how they look in all facets, how they move, how they interact with others and if it's not match there's no "should we do this again" awkwardness.
    Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

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