I feel for you.....but you have to know and believe it will get better. I do not know when or how long it will take for the change to happen, but I know it will. One day you will wake up and it will hurt less....it is a process that I am not sure there is a major short cut. At some point though, you will have to set the alcohol to the side and start getting yourself positioned for the better days to follow. Only you can do that....and please do not think I am making light of your pain....it is clear to me that it is very real.