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Thread: The Divorce Thread

  1. #31
    You serious Clark? Assembly Hall's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    RTG, you doing okay?

    Here is my story. I was married, to what I thought, a wonderful woman for 15 years. I came home from work one day and everything in the house was gone. As I am trying to assess the situation there is a knock on the door. It was a police officer serving me with divorce papers. Hell she took everything the house and it was too late to catch my banks open. The next morning I hit the banks that we had accounts with. Only to find out that all the money had been withdrawn by her. She had planned it, the bills at the house were in arrears. As I said all I did afterwards was drink and pop pills. My parents found me on the bathroom floor one day in a pool of vomit. I was having a hard time accepting reality and literally was killing myself without pulling a trigger. I got sobered up thanks to Mom and Dad. But still life sucked.......I blamed myself for the break-up and my world was shattered. But slow but sure things came to light.

    Just hang in there my friend. These are the kind of things that define who we are.

    PS.......dont make the same mistake I made. I should have went after my kid but didnt.
    Fake news


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  3. #32
    Potential Lunch Winner Dom Heffner's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Assembly Hall View Post
    RTG, you doing okay?

    Here is my story. I was married, to what I thought, a wonderful woman for 15 years. I came home from work one day and everything in the house was gone. As I am trying to assess the situation there is a knock on the door. It was a police officer serving me with divorce papers. Hell she took everything the house and it was too late to catch my banks open. The next morning I hit the banks that we had accounts with. Only to find out that all the money had been withdrawn by her. She had planned it, the bills at the house were in arrears. As I said all I did afterwards was drink and pop pills. My parents found me on the bathroom floor one day in a pool of vomit. I was having a hard time accepting reality and literally was killing myself without pulling a trigger. I got sobered up thanks to Mom and Dad. But still life sucked.......I blamed myself for the break-up and my world was shattered. But slow but sure things came to light.

    Just hang in there my friend. These are the kind of things that define who we are.

    PS.......dont make the same mistake I made. I should have went after my kid but didnt.
    There needs to be some reform with divorce.

    You shouldn't be able to drain bank accounts and then file right after.

    That's bull_______.

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  5. #33
    Daffy Duck RedTeamGo!'s Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Assembly Hall View Post
    RTG, you doing okay?

    Here is my story. I was married, to what I thought, a wonderful woman for 15 years. I came home from work one day and everything in the house was gone. As I am trying to assess the situation there is a knock on the door. It was a police officer serving me with divorce papers. Hell she took everything the house and it was too late to catch my banks open. The next morning I hit the banks that we had accounts with. Only to find out that all the money had been withdrawn by her. She had planned it, the bills at the house were in arrears. As I said all I did afterwards was drink and pop pills. My parents found me on the bathroom floor one day in a pool of vomit. I was having a hard time accepting reality and literally was killing myself without pulling a trigger. I got sobered up thanks to Mom and Dad. But still life sucked.......I blamed myself for the break-up and my world was shattered. But slow but sure things came to light.

    Just hang in there my friend. These are the kind of things that define who we are.

    PS.......dont make the same mistake I made. I should have went after my kid but didnt.
    Yeah, I am OK.

    Just something I have been thinking of for the last couple of months and am starting to think harder. Not emotionally unstable or anything at this point.

    Thank you for your concern.

  6. #34
    Waitin til next year bucksfan2's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    I am a fairly laid back, easy going person. I don't let things bother me too much and I do a good job of letting things just bounce off of me. Sure every once in a while things hit a head, but those are few and far between. My wife is pretty much the opposite, she is a little more high strung and can let things get to her. Anyway right now I swear she is stressed every day. She has a lot on her plate, finishing up getting her masters in nursing, working part time at a hospital, getting enough clinical hours in each week, we are building a house and dealing with that is frustrating to say the least. Along with moving into my parents basement for a number of months is a daunting task. My two girls are 1 and 4, which can be a handful in itself, and the four year old sure can find a way to get under your skin!

    From my perspective finding something that I like to do works. It can be golfing or playing softball as well as my wife doing something that she enjoys, going to a Pilates class or a Broadway play. Doing something that makes you happy puts you in a better mood. Maybe try going somewhere for a long weekend, getting out of the house away from the kid(s) go a long way helping your relationship as well as relieving the everyday stress?

    I have no advice as to get divorced or not. Its "easier" on being a dad living under the same roof as the child, not constantly battling over custody. At the same time, my sister-in-law stayed in a pretty deadend relationship for a number or years before finally getting a divorce. My ex-brother-in-law screwed up too many times and the kids want little to do with him, which makes her battle easier. I don't know, maybe go to a therapist on your own to talk about your situation. I would imagine a session wit ha therapist would be much cheaper than a session with a lawyer.

  7. #35
    You serious Clark? Assembly Hall's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by RedTeamGo! View Post
    Yeah, I am OK.

    Just something I have been thinking of for the last couple of months and am starting to think harder. Not emotionally unstable or anything at this point.

    Thank you for your concern.
    Good to hear man........dammit don't lose it. I gotsta have somebody to spar with every once in a while!
    Fake news

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  9. #36
    Member Sea Ray's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Dom Heffner View Post
    There needs to be some reform with divorce.

    You shouldn't be able to drain bank accounts and then file right after.

    That's bull_______.
    It sure does and I fear our fellow RZer is about to find out how sexist the divorce process is...think Kramer vs Kramer. He'll end up working his behind off while his wife spends her time taking their son to playdates.

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  11. #37
    Potential Lunch Winner Dom Heffner's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Sea Ray View Post
    It sure does and I fear our fellow RZer is about to find out how sexist the divorce process is...think Kramer vs Kramer. He'll end up working his behind off while his wife spends her time taking their son to playdates.
    We had it on our governor's desk and he wouldn't sign it twice. Ugh.

    It's a shame, some of these deals.

  12. #38
    Member Sea Ray's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Dom Heffner View Post
    We had it on our governor's desk and he wouldn't sign it twice. Ugh.

    It's a shame, some of these deals.
    To those of us who aren't from Florida, to what are you referring?

    Typically what happens in cases like this is that the Mom gets custody. Redteamgo will be lucky to get one weekend every two weeks with his son. But he'll get slapped with the majority of the bills. It's a wonderful system

  13. #39
    You serious Clark? Assembly Hall's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Sea Ray View Post
    It's a wonderful system
    Try this on for size. My kid turns 13 and my ex decides she wants a baby with her new husband. Not only does she have the baby but decides to quit her job to be a stay at home mom for the little tyke. Nothing wrong with that but my child support went up because she left her job.
    Fake news

  14. #40
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    On an entirely unrelated note.....
    I would very much encourage you to go talk to a counselor with or without your wife. You are asking strangers on an internet message board for a reality check and advice and that's great. I do it all the time. But a professional trained in the ways of your state who can look you in the eye and give unbiased advice would be a really, really, really good thing for you to have.

    I've been going through "life events." Simply deciding to talk to a counselor removed physical weight off my shoulders. Actually talking to the counselor and hearing her say..."Damn, it sucks to be you. No wonder you are upset." (Well, not those words, but the counseling equivalent of those words) removed a ton of self doubt from my life. I'm a fan.
    Last edited by dfs; 06-03-2016 at 09:06 PM.
    "Even a bad day at the ballpark beats the snot out of most other good days. I'll take my scorecard and pencil and beer and hot dog and rage at the dips and cheer at the highs, but I'm not ever going to stop loving this game and this team and nobody will ever take that away from me." Roy Tucker October 2010

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  16. #41
    Member Sea Ray's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Assembly Hall View Post
    Try this on for size. My kid turns 13 and my ex decides she wants a baby with her new husband. Not only does she have the baby but decides to quit her job to be a stay at home mom for the little tyke. Nothing wrong with that but my child support went up because she left her job.
    That's total BS. Why does our legal system allow such nonsense? Why do her decisions get to affect you long after your marriage is over? Makes me wonder if her husband lost his job if that would cause your child support to go up as well? It'd be just as ridiculous.

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  18. #42
    You serious Clark? Assembly Hall's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Sea Ray View Post
    That's total BS. Why does our legal system allow such nonsense? Why do her decisions get to affect you long after your marriage is over? Makes me wonder if her husband lost his job if that would cause your child support to go up as well? It'd be just as ridiculous.
    To this day I am still pissed about it. Indiana has made some reforms in the laws, but not near enough.
    Fake news

  19. #43
    Member Sea Ray's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Assembly Hall View Post
    To this day I am still pissed about it. Indiana has made some reforms in the laws, but not near enough.
    I can see why.

  20. #44
    Potential Lunch Winner Dom Heffner's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Sea Ray View Post
    To those of us who aren't from Florida, to what are you referring?

    Typically what happens in cases like this is that the Mom gets custody. Redteamgo will be lucky to get one weekend every two weeks with his son. But he'll get slapped with the majority of the bills. It's a wonderful system
    Two divorce reform bills. The latest one was just a month ago. Ended forever alimony, brought by a woman GOP in the statehouse...

    It assumed equal custody.

    A dream, really. Scott got cold feet, even though it was passed by Republicans.

    It probably went overboard but good God, people don't need to be supported forever.

  21. #45
    Potential Lunch Winner Dom Heffner's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Sea Ray View Post
    That's total BS. Why does our legal system allow such nonsense? Why do her decisions get to affect you long after your marriage is over? Makes me wonder if her husband lost his job if that would cause your child support to go up as well? It'd be just as ridiculous.
    Our friend- a woman- supported her husband through school.

    It didn't work out, they split, and because he wasn't working and she's the breadwinner, she strokes him a check every month.

    It's awful.


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