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Thread: The Divorce Thread

  1. #61
    Sprinkles are for winners dougdirt's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Redsfaithful View Post
    What strings would you attach? How would you enforce? How do you account for wanting to do this when there are so many men who don't pay child support at all?

    I think most men who complain about this kind of thing are kind of shortsighted because of bitterness, or just losers to be honest, but I'm open to new perspectives.
    IS the kid getting food/clothes/shelter/medical? If so, I don't care how the money coming in from dad/mom is spent by the other party - just as long as whoever is spending it provides those things for the child. At the end of the day non-custodial parent's money going to custodial parents money is going into one fund - the one for the custodial parent. If they are providing, does it matter exactly where that money came from?

    But maybe I'm just completely missing something here.

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  4. #62
    You serious Clark? Assembly Hall's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Redsfaithful View Post

    I think most men who complain about this kind of thing are kind of shortsighted because of bitterness, or just losers to be honest, but I'm open to new perspectives.
    Come on up here to northern Indiana 20 years ago.......and put my shoes on. Have you been divorced before?
    Fake news

  5. #63
    Potential Lunch Winner Dom Heffner's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Redsfaithful View Post
    What strings would you attach? How would you enforce? How do you account for wanting to do this when there are so many men who don't pay child support at all?

    I think most men who complain about this kind of thing are kind of shortsighted because of bitterness, or just losers to be honest, but I'm open to new perspectives.
    You've talked about your income on here before...

    You would get killed. Killed.

    Just writing checks because you have it and while you sound okay about it now, I'm not sure how'd you be if it happened to you.

  6. #64
    Member Redsfaithful's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Dom Heffner View Post
    You've talked about your income on here before...

    You would get killed. Killed.

    Just writing checks because you have it and while you sound okay about it now, I'm not sure how'd you be if it happened to you.
    I have maybe a weird mindset and attitude about money, sometimes it gets me in trouble, in this case I think it would help.

    Easy come, easy go, you can always make more is how I've always approached money.

    I assume in a divorce I'd lose half of assets, half of income until kids were grown, and would owe alimony after that. I think that's pretty fair, even if she were in the wrong (fairly rare that only one party is in the wrong though, even if it seems that way. Usually if it's all one person's fault it's because of drugs/alcohol/some other addiction/mental illness.)
    Turning and turning in the widening gyre
    The falcon cannot hear the falconer;

  7. #65
    Potential Lunch Winner Dom Heffner's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Redsfaithful View Post
    I have maybe a weird mindset and attitude about money, sometimes it gets me in trouble, in this case I think it would help.

    Easy come, easy go, you can always make more is how I've always approached money.

    I assume in a divorce I'd lose half of assets, half of income until kids were grown, and would owe alimony after that. I think that's pretty fair, even if she were in the wrong (fairly rare that only one party is in the wrong though, even if it seems that way. Usually if it's all one person's fault it's because of drugs/alcohol/some other addiction/mental illness.)
    Probably the best attitude to have.

  8. #66
    Member Sea Ray's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Redsfaithful View Post
    What strings would you attach? How would you enforce? How do you account for wanting to do this when there are so many men who don't pay child support at all?

    I think most men who complain about this kind of thing are kind of shortsighted because of bitterness, or just losers to be honest, but I'm open to new perspectives.
    I would put it into a joint account, kind of like an HSA. Withdrawals have to be kid related.

  9. #67
    Member Sea Ray's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Redsfaithful View Post
    I have maybe a weird mindset and attitude about money, sometimes it gets me in trouble, in this case I think it would help.

    Easy come, easy go, you can always make more is how I've always approached money.

    I assume in a divorce I'd lose half of assets, half of income until kids were grown, and would owe alimony after that. I think that's pretty fair, even if she were in the wrong (fairly rare that only one party is in the wrong though, even if it seems that way. Usually if it's all one person's fault it's because of drugs/alcohol/some other addiction/mental illness.)
    I think a lot of divorces are due to infidelity and that means that one party led to the end of the marriage.

  10. #68
    Potential Lunch Winner Dom Heffner's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Sea Ray View Post
    I think a lot of divorces are due to infidelity and that means that one party led to the end of the marriage.
    Right but what led to infidelity?

    I had a girlfriend who wouldn't have sex with me for weeks on end.

    It's not always that simple. My mother had an affair, my dad also stayed out until all hours of the night drinking with his friends. It is often everybody's fault.

    Your partner's happiness is somewhat your responsibility, at least in areas where a partner is needed.

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  12. #69
    Daffy Duck RedTeamGo!'s Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Sea Ray View Post
    I think a lot of divorces are due to infidelity and that means that one party led to the end of the marriage.
    Often times a person ends up cheating because of reasons other then just wanting to have sex outside of marriage. Sometimes it is black and white, but there is usually something else going on that leads to the affair.

    My aunt cheated on my uncle, for example, because of how terrible of a husband he was. He even admitted this after the divorce. Sure, some people just want to have sexual relations out of marriage, but many times there is something else going on in the marriage that leads to it.

    I am sure you will say "Well, she should have just ended it instead of having an affair." That is probably partially true, but, people are human and they do things for reasons that don't always make sense.

  13. #70
    They call me "chef"
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Isn't it the woman's duty to stay in the relationship until the man says she can leave though? Instead, she ruins everything by getting a divorce and takes all the man's money!

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  15. #71
    Potential Lunch Winner Dom Heffner's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Larry Schuler View Post
    Isn't it the woman's duty to stay in the relationship until the man says she can leave though? Instead, she ruins everything by getting a divorce and takes all the man's money!
    1975 is calling....hello, 1975....

  16. #72
    Potential Lunch Winner Dom Heffner's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Sea Ray View Post
    I would put it into a joint account, kind of like an HSA. Withdrawals have to be kid related.
    I hear you, how do you put money into an HSA for the extra bedroom the person has to provide in their house?

    The taxes for the added value to the property?

    I have no problem with it going into their own account. If the kid is being supported, they deserve the money.

    What gets me is permanent alimony. Nobody should be stroking checks to anyone for life.

  17. #73
    Member Sea Ray's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Dom Heffner View Post
    Right but what led to infidelity?

    I had a girlfriend who wouldn't have sex with me for weeks on end.

    It's not always that simple. My mother had an affair, my dad also stayed out until all hours of the night drinking with his friends. It is often everybody's fault.

    Your partner's happiness is somewhat your responsibility, at least in areas where a partner is needed.
    You're correct that sometimes it involves two guilty parties but my point is that once one person checks out of the marriage, it's over. It doesn't matter what the other one thinks or does. As for your girlfriend there are too many possibilities to imagine but I wouldn't try to make comparisons to married people.

  18. #74
    Member Sea Ray's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by RedTeamGo! View Post
    Often times a person ends up cheating because of reasons other then just wanting to have sex outside of marriage. Sometimes it is black and white, but there is usually something else going on that leads to the affair.

    My aunt cheated on my uncle, for example, because of how terrible of a husband he was. He even admitted this after the divorce. Sure, some people just want to have sexual relations out of marriage, but many times there is something else going on in the marriage that leads to it.

    I am sure you will say "Well, she should have just ended it instead of having an affair." That is probably partially true, but, people are human and they do things for reasons that don't always make sense.
    I get that there are examples of where the cheated on spouse bears some responsibility. Do you get that sometimes there is no responsibility? Like in Tiger Woods' case where he admitted that he screwed around because he felt he was "entitled"?

  19. #75
    Member Sea Ray's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Dom Heffner View Post
    I hear you, how do you put money into an HSA for the extra bedroom the person has to provide in their house?

    The taxes for the added value to the property?

    I have no problem with it going into their own account. If the kid is being supported, they deserve the money.

    What gets me is permanent alimony. Nobody should be stroking checks to anyone for life.
    Those are legitimate expenses. Others not so much


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