Hallmark Channel movies

[M2]

traderumor brought them up in a baseball thread, but I feel they're worth a topic on their own. Hallmark churns out formulaic treacle based on every season and holiday, often starring actors who've slipped to the D list. Lacey Chabert never may have made fetch happen, but she's box office gold for Hallmark. Watching one of these films can get you to wear out IMDB, trying to figure where else you've seen members of the cast.

Would it be nice if they tweaked the formula or invested a little effort in character and dialog? Sure, but Hallmark's niche is comfort TV. People go in with high demand for their low expectations to be met. The result is both soothing and maddening. It can also be unintentionally hilarious. As I mentioned in the other thread, Hallmark films are perfect MST3K fodder. They are built to be goofed upon. I also maintain every Hallmark film is easily adaptable to porn - the flimsy plots, the barely believable cosplay of how things function in the real world, the stilted dialog. You could totally film three version of each offering: one for Hallmark, one somewhat naughty version for late night cable and one full-on porn version. Maybe Danica McKellar and Dylan Neal would balk at that, though I bet it would pay pretty well.

Anyway, I'm curious to see who considers Hallmark a guilty (or even not guilty) pleasure, who spite-watches it, etc.

[Larry Schuler]

Only time I've ever seen a full Hallmark movie is when a friend starred in one a few Christmas seasons ago. I wouldn't even know where to find Hallmark content. Are some of the Hulu Christmas titles originally Hallmark produced movies?

[dougdirt]

My DVR IS FULL OF THEM.

Lacey Chabert? YES PLEASE. But, I'll generally watch them all. They aren't deep. They are light hearted. They have happy endings. I'm about that life. I want to see people happy in the end. I want to see people fall in love.

[westofyou]

My DVR IS FULL OF THEM.

Lacey Chabert? YES PLEASE. But, I'll generally watch them all. They aren't deep. They are light hearted. They have happy endings. I'm about that life. I want to see people happy in the end. I want to see people fall in love.

My Secret Valentine... the story of Chloe Granger finding love

That's the HM channel... me? I'll watch WW2 Newsreels before that stuff.

Cheese is a weird thing, some can ingest more others no, romance is a good genre, it just doesn't touch me in the vein that channel deals and I have a taste for cheese, but more home towny... like Hoosiers but even less artistic

[Roy Tucker]

My wife LOVES those Hallmark movies. Absolutely loves them.

She gets mad at me because I can predict the plot after watching the first 5 minutes. So she makes me promise to not say anything when she is watching one under penalty of losing marital “favors”.

[Boston Red]

Didn't Danica McKellar get a math degree from Harvard (or something along those lines)? You're probably not going to get her for the pron version. I know her sister (Beckly Slater from the show) was Harvard Law the same year that I wanted to be (Harvard, wisely, had other ideas).

I enjoy about one Hallmarker a year.

[Sea Ray]

My wife LOVES those Hallmark movies. Absolutely loves them.

She gets mad at me because I can predict the plot after watching the first 5 minutes. So she makes me promise to not say anything when she is watching one under penalty of losing marital “favors”.

I hear you! My wife loves this stuff. She spends her Sundays watching them non stop. Every plot is the same. You can tell from the first 15 mins who's going to get together in the end and live happily ever after. They're always enormously successful in their careers, money's not an issue. The guys are always 3.5" taller than their partners. And they never have a serious argument. I'm glad to see I'm not the only one with this problem. Thankfully my late teenage daughter hates these too.

My wife also never misses an episode of the Bachelor. I wonder if that's common amongst Hallmark folks?

[Danny Serafini]

Every plot is the same. You can tell from the first 15 mins who's going to get together in the end and live happily ever after. They're always enormously successful in their careers, money's not an issue. The guys are always 3.5" taller than their partners. And they never have a serious argument.

And if you're a rich, big city lawyer you're in trouble, because sometime in the next two hours your love interest is going to walk off with that handyman over there (yeah, I've had to endure a LOT of these )

[dougdirt]

And if you're a rich, big city lawyer you're in trouble, because sometime in the next two hours your love interest is going to walk off with that handyman over there (yeah, I've had to endure a LOT of these )

Sometimes she's going to walk off with the farmer, or the baker.

[cumberlandreds]

Never fear Hallmark Channel Radio will begin tomorrow on XM radio. So if you can't watch it you will be able to listen to it. At least for the Christmas season anyway.

http://blog.siriusxm.com/hallmark-ch...liday-channel/

[klw]

It may date me but for me it doesn't count as a true Hallmark movie unless it has Meredith Baxter-Birney in it.

[Kingspoint]

It may date me but for me it doesn't count as a true Hallmark movie unless it has Meredith Baxter-Birney in it.

When Hallmark first started doing them (long before Meredith Baxter became Birney) they were the best cinema on television. Hal Holbrook did a few of the early ones, if I recall.

[Roy Tucker]

It is a guilty pleasure for me in limited doses. Not every movie I watch is Oscar-worthy. Sometimes I don’t want to think a lot. Like a bodice-ripper novel

Plus I get on the good side of my wife.

[KronoRed]

It's the same movie over and over.

I can say this because I've seen about 12 of them.

[dougdirt]

It's the same movie over and over.

I can say this because I've seen about 12 of them.

Only 12? Goodness. What an amateur.