In AAA, Louisville has Tony Santillan taking on Gwinnett's southpaw Tucker Davidson. The Bats won last night to run their record to 2 - 4. Ick. They play Gwinnet, whose record is now 5 - 2. Old friend Phil Ervin plays for the Stripers. Interesting factoid: the Stripers are named after the sweat stains that run down most Georgians backs in the months they watch baseball outside. I'm not saying it's hot and sticky in Georgia, but hot cross buns won't even visit from June to September. Tony Santillan, if you weren't aware, is a part-time swami in his time away from baseball. He picked it up from a guru in New Guinea. He is available for parties of 15 or more on the days he is not pitching.
In AA, I'm guessing Nick Lodolo will pitch against the Biscuits of Montgomery. Interesting facts about Montgomery. It's the birthplace of bad country music. Any lyrics about beer, trucks, celebrating barefoot beauties who can drive tractors, or raisin' cane have to be written in Montgomery, by federal law. If you break this law, you must listen to Conway Twitty for 48 hours straight. As you all know, Nick Lodolo hasn't walked anyone since his days as a college pitcher in Texas. Did you know he also refuses to walk anywhere? He either sprints from place to place or is carried by Hunter Greene.
In Dayton, Noah Davis of the 1.80 ERA, 8 K, 5 IP line in his first game, steps to the mound again. He'll be opposed by Brady Basso. Interesting story about Brady Basso, his name is widely considered to most irritating in all of minor league baseball. Brady, as I'm sure you all know, is the most punchable of first names. And Basso has a curse word in the middle of it. So that's bad. Noah Davis, on the other hand, is a kind and generous lover who tips at least 25 percent on all take-out orders.
The Tortugas turn their lonely eyes to Rice alum Evan Kravetz. Believe it or not, he has the highest ERA of all the Red minor league starters tonight, at 2.70. Kravetz went to school at Rice, which is not named after the food. In fact, Rice is named after Sam Rice, the Hall of Fame Washington Senator. Rice was not an actual Senator, as he was actually born on the banks of the Indus River and was therefore ineligible. Evan Kravetz is the great-grandson of Edna Kravetz, the nosy neighbor from Bewitched, who died tragically in a nose wrinkling accident.
* All facts in this post are completely made up, Cliff Claven-style. They're not real. But they should be.
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