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Thread: Feeling like I知 not gonna make it after possible unethical treatment from therapist

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    Feeling like I知 not gonna make it after possible unethical treatment from therapist

    Hey everyone. Sorry to put such a personal subject out here once again. I would not be doing so if not for the fact that I feel extremely cornered by life circumstances and I知 feeling honestly pretty insane, because the mental health professional who I has trusted for the last 6 years is suddenly becoming completely untrustworthy.

    I wish I had the mental capacity to fully explain and elaborate. But I知 completely worn out at the moment from one of the worst and most emotionally stressful and painful days I致e ever had in my life.

    To put an extremely long story short, the therapist I have been seeing for the last 6 years for the breakup I went through I used to talk about here back in 2014, has burned out and become completely unavailable emotionally/supportively in our sessions;

    I am beginning to suspect that I have been mistreated or treated unethically. I was 26 when I first started seeing her and she was a rookie therapist only a few months older than I. Made the case that she could make up for all the abuse and neglect I suffered early in my life. Over the last year has become very burned out and withdrawn; distant etc, and reneging on these claims she made. And general connections made. And I知 wondering if what I致e been subjected to is wrong and what I need to do about it.

    Sorry again. I know this is intense stuff. I知 just sort of at the end of mt limit. I致e suffered a lot in my life: this therapist used to always constantly claim that working with her would be the proof/experience to show me that not everyone would harm me or abandon me or etc etc, and now it痴 ended up happening here as well and recreating my worst most abusive moments in life.

    I知 just at a complete loss. I致e never felt this level of pain before. Feels like reality and my brain are completely broken and there is no coming back for me.


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    Re: Feeling like I知 not gonna make it after possible unethical treatment from therap

    Quote Originally Posted by Wonderful Monds View Post
    Hey everyone. Sorry to put such a personal subject out here once again. I would not be doing so if not for the fact that I feel extremely cornered by life circumstances and I知 feeling honestly pretty insane, because the mental health professional who I has trusted for the last 6 years is suddenly becoming completely untrustworthy.

    I wish I had the mental capacity to fully explain and elaborate. But I知 completely worn out at the moment from one of the worst and most emotionally stressful and painful days I致e ever had in my life.

    To put an extremely long story short, the therapist I have been seeing for the last 6 years for the breakup I went through I used to talk about here back in 2014, has burned out and become completely unavailable emotionally/supportively in our sessions;

    I am beginning to suspect that I have been mistreated or treated unethically. I was 26 when I first started seeing her and she was a rookie therapist only a few months older than I. Made the case that she could make up for all the abuse and neglect I suffered early in my life. Over the last year has become very burned out and withdrawn; distant etc, and reneging on these claims she made. And general connections made. And I知 wondering if what I致e been subjected to is wrong and what I need to do about it.

    Sorry again. I know this is intense stuff. I知 just sort of at the end of mt limit. I致e suffered a lot in my life: this therapist used to always constantly claim that working with her would be the proof/experience to show me that not everyone would harm me or abandon me or etc etc, and now it痴 ended up happening here as well and recreating my worst most abusive moments in life.

    I知 just at a complete loss. I致e never felt this level of pain before. Feels like reality and my brain are completely broken and there is no coming back for me.
    Hang in there! You池e a wonderful person, no pun intended, and loved by all of us. Back in 06, my wedding was called off, I lost my job and my car broke down over the course of one week. Rock F段ng bottom. Crap happens, but it will get better. Be tough, optimistic and confident. Great things will happen to you and it all balances out over time which means you have lots of good fortune coming your way.
    "....the two players I liked watching the most were Barry Larkin and Eric Davis. I was suitably entertained by their effortless skill that I didn't need them crashing into walls like a squirrel on a coke binge." - dsmith421

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    Re: Feeling like I知 not gonna make it after possible unethical treatment from therap

    Quote Originally Posted by Wonderful Monds View Post
    Hey everyone. Sorry to put such a personal subject out here once again. I would not be doing so if not for the fact that I feel extremely cornered by life circumstances and I’m feeling honestly pretty insane, because the mental health professional who I has trusted for the last 6 years is suddenly becoming completely untrustworthy.

    I wish I had the mental capacity to fully explain and elaborate. But I’m completely worn out at the moment from one of the worst and most emotionally stressful and painful days I’ve ever had in my life.

    To put an extremely long story short, the therapist I have been seeing for the last 6 years for the breakup I went through I used to talk about here back in 2014, has burned out and become completely unavailable emotionally/supportively in our sessions;

    I am beginning to suspect that I have been mistreated or treated unethically. I was 26 when I first started seeing her and she was a rookie therapist only a few months older than I. Made the case that she could make up for all the abuse and neglect I suffered early in my life. Over the last year has become very burned out and withdrawn; distant etc, and reneging on these claims she made. And general connections made. And I’m wondering if what I’ve been subjected to is wrong and what I need to do about it.

    Sorry again. I know this is intense stuff. I’m just sort of at the end of mt limit. I’ve suffered a lot in my life: this therapist used to always constantly claim that working with her would be the proof/experience to show me that not everyone would harm me or abandon me or etc etc, and now it’s ended up happening here as well and recreating my worst most abusive moments in life.

    I’m just at a complete loss. I’ve never felt this level of pain before. Feels like reality and my brain are completely broken and there is no coming back for me.
    Hang in there. Things will get better. I’ve been through a divorce, gotten fired from my job, had cancer, lost my parents, lost loved ones, and worst of all, been a Reds fan. I’ve always hung in there, knew I just had to give it time, and eventually bounced back better than ever. I know the getting there part is really hard but it will happen. The night can be dark but the morning always comes and you realize you’ve just got to keep on plugging away. It will get better. Trust me on this.
    With a purple umbrella and a fifty cent hat

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    Re: Feeling like I知 not gonna make it after possible unethical treatment from therap

    I remember that breakup and how dark of a time that was for you. It’s absolutely valid for that trauma to be bubbling up again when going through what feels like a new abandonment. Valid and normal and painful. That stuff stays with us.

    You didn’t think you’d ever come through that, but you did. I’d encourage you to remember that as it probably feels like you won’t come through this one now.

    Definitely get hooked up with a new therapist ASAP. We had one we really liked and weren’t looking forward to “starting all over” with a new one. Turned out, the new one was light years better and made even more progress with us. You may not know it, but you’ve actually got better tools and language now to get a new therapist “caught up” on your story and progress.
    "I never argue with people who say baseball is boring, because baseball is boring. And then, suddenly, it isn't. And that's what makes it great." - Joe Posnanski

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    Re: Feeling like I知 not gonna make it after possible unethical treatment from therap

    Hang in there, WM. You're a great guy. There's folks out there whose lives are gonna be touched by you in a very positive way. You are going to help a lot of people in days to come. You have a lot to give the world. You're needed.
    的t痴 the mathematical potential for a single game to last forever, in a suspended world where no clock rules the day, that aligns baseball as much with the dead as the living.
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    Re: Feeling like I知 not gonna make it after possible unethical treatment from therap

    As someone that had some emotional issues, what you are describing isn't unethical on the surface, it's life. Therapists are not immune their own issues, and the next person to not bring that to the workplace will be the first person.

    She may need a break, and she may need someone to tell that to her. You are not married to your therapist anymore than you are married to a car. Sometimes a change is needed. But as a courtesy, you should tell her you are seeking a new counselor, and why. Because if you really feel this is impacting her as a therapist, she needs to know. You owe it to her for the help she has clearly given you when she was not in this "state".

    If you still feel you need counseling, then find another person to speak to. I was in therapy for two years before I felt ok enough to stop. I sometimes wonder if that was the right decision, especially lately. But mostly I think it is just regrets as another birthday passes.

    WM, do what is right for you, but maybe in this case pay it back a little.
    Dubito Ergo Cogito Ergo Sum.

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    Re: Feeling like I知 not gonna make it after possible unethical treatment from therap

    Quote Originally Posted by TRF View Post
    As someone that had some emotional issues, what you are describing isn't unethical on the surface, it's life. Therapists are not immune their own issues, and the next person to not bring that to the workplace will be the first person.

    She may need a break, and she may need someone to tell that to her. You are not married to your therapist anymore than you are married to a car. Sometimes a change is needed. But as a courtesy, you should tell her you are seeking a new counselor, and why. Because if you really feel this is impacting her as a therapist, she needs to know. You owe it to her for the help she has clearly given you when she was not in this "state".

    If you still feel you need counseling, then find another person to speak to. I was in therapy for two years before I felt ok enough to stop. I sometimes wonder if that was the right decision, especially lately. But mostly I think it is just regrets as another birthday passes.

    WM, do what is right for you, but maybe in this case pay it back a little.
    My thoughts as well. Find a new therapist. Time to move on

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    Re: Feeling like I知 not gonna make it after possible unethical treatment from therap

    Therapist dumped me today.

    - - - Updated - - -

    I cannot handle the sheer magnitude of abandonment pain and suffering I’m going through right now.




    I feel as though I am in hell.

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    Re: Feeling like I知 not gonna make it after possible unethical treatment from therap

    I can’t totally relate to your abandon feelings. But I did used to go to therapy and I changed a couple times, but did feel very odd after the first time. You feel like you have a relationship and discuss things you don’t with others and then suddenly you are supposed to do that with another person. It’s a weird sensation. However I had a much better relationship with my third person and got way more out of the experience. This will very likely be a good thing for you and you’ll likely get a fresh perspective from someone new. Hang in there.

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    Re: Feeling like I知 not gonna make it after possible unethical treatment from therap

    This therapist should never have made those claims. She should leave the profession. I get that people are young and make mistakes, but she sounds like a narcissist. She has no business doing that job.
    鄭nd when finally they sense that some position cannot be sustained, they do not re-examine their ideas. Instead, they simply change the subject. Jamie Galbraith

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    Re: Feeling like I知 not gonna make it after possible unethical treatment from therap

    Very sorry to hear you are going through this. I also remember that episode six years ago. You came through it then and I'm sure you will again this time.

    I had a similar experience with a therapist about 10 years ago. Things seemed to be going great and I was super happy, feeling like I had found the perfect sounding board. Suddenly, I didn't show up for one session (legit conflict) and she turned on me at the next one, accusing me of "not being serious about treatment." I could never get out of the doghouse and she dropped me a few months later. I've since been told by many others that she probably acted out of line with professional standards. It happens. Therapists are people too.

    I know my story doesn't necessarily make things easier, but I hope it at least grants some perspective. Hang in there.
    Last edited by RedEye; 05-31-2023 at 12:49 AM.
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    Re: Feeling like I知 not gonna make it after possible unethical treatment from therap

    Quote Originally Posted by Wonderful Monds View Post
    Therapist dumped me today.

    - - - Updated - - -

    I cannot handle the sheer magnitude of abandonment pain and suffering I’m going through right now.




    I feel as though I am in hell.
    I don't have advice beyond what BR27 offered (which seems sound). Just wanted to chime in that I'm among the many here rooting for you.
    MLB free agent

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    Re: Feeling like I知 not gonna make it after possible unethical treatment from therap

    The thing that feels most like a stab in the gut right this second is that she did it over a video call because she was sick yesterday. I asked her if I could come in for one final face to face session to say goodbye to her in person for closure.

    She said no.

    She said no, after being the person who claimed they would prove secure attachments were real and safe, that I could attach to her like a mother, engage in transference for my feelings for my ex. Work through all those things with her, with a “better ending” that didn’t result in abandonment.

    And she wouldn’t even give me the decency to have one sentimental chance to send off and say good bye and feel like I wasn’t literally dumped.

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    Re: Feeling like I知 not gonna make it after possible unethical treatment from therap

    Your feelings are very understandable and it sounds like she didn’t handle it properly. I know it isn’t helpful to say not to dwell on it, but the reasons for why she did what she did don’t matter anymore. Your health matters and doing what you need to do are what are important right now. Maybe someday you’ll get closure on that situation or maybe not, but please focus inward and try talking to maybe a couple other people and see what feels right to you.

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    Re: Feeling like I知 not gonna make it after possible unethical treatment from therap

    Just to spew out some stuff that’s hanging over me right now.

    I am barely hanging in there. To compound the intense difficulty of what was already going on in therapy, I found out my closest friend and remaining form of personal support system is moving to Chicago in a few weeks. So in terms of having a homie to hang out with and have support getting back out there and getting back on the horse and etc., I have nothing. Been feeling nothing but a gnawing feeling of defeated dread all day as a result.

    I saw two therapists late last week and they were as unhelpful and discouraging as the 20+ I had seen in my life before my most recent therapist. I have no hope for finding another that I click with, feel supported by, and who can help & understand the layers and layers of complex BS that encompasses my life.
    Despite that I have an appointment with another new one tomorrow.

    I feel especially beaten into the ground because my therapist used to tell me when I was going through these severe periods of being alone and depressed and etc. that I could count on her/lean on her to get through it, that as long as she was there I had someone who cared about me and etc. - and it really helped me feel like I could get through those episodes to the other side. I don’t feel that way now that she’s gone.

    I have been writing a letter the last week to send my therapist to ask her to reconsider the termination. Wrote out some counterpoints to what she said about feeling unequipped to be my therapist. Have some of my own recent therapy notes I was going to attach where I described how I felt things were moving in the right direction and that I was glad she was getting better again at being supportive and etc. Inwas going to ask her if she would reconsider working together anytime soon, or if not, maybe revisit in like 6 months or something to discuss the status of whatever issues led to the termination and see if it could be a good fit again.

    One of the few things I’m kind of keeping on going for is that she told me she would consider the door open for us to work together again down the road. She was sort of meaning longer term by that I guess, but idk maybe if I present my side of how things were affecting me, maybe that timeline shortens again or something.

    Idk man. That’s all I got going on right now. Things are not good. I have never felt this like….afraid of life and continuing bro go on. I was working hard, working my ass off in therapy, working my ass off outside of therapy applying techniques and concepts we worked on together, and it has resulted in nothing but my life plummeting towards rock bottom again.

    I have been doing the “right things” and working as hard as I can, putting in as much effort, and it has amounted to jack ****. Actually it’s amounted to less than jack **** because if that were the case at least nothing would’ve happened, which I would’ve preferred to my life just tanking for absolutely zero reason and despite me doing everything that I’m “supposed” to do.

    So that’s the update. That’s where things are at.


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