Feeling like I’m not gonna make it after possible unethical treatment from therapist

[Falls City Beer]

Has family come keep me company today.


Basically I’m riding my future on writing and appealing to my therapist to reconsider. If that doesn’t work, I don’t want to keep going on.

I have a lifetime’s worth of experience with how awful and useless therapists are. I just got a reminder and reinforcement the last week with another handful. I found the one good one who was capable of helping and supporting/caring about me.

So I’m putting all my effort into figuring out hopefully the right words to say to reverse this situation.

That is the only remaining thing I’m here for.

Have you thought about analysis? A good friend of mine has been in Jungian therapy for about 5 years and has had tremendous success. Really helped him manage his suicidal depression.

[Wonderful Monds]

Have you thought about analysis? A good friend of mine has been in Jungian therapy for about 5 years and has had tremendous success. Really helped him manage his suicidal depression.

I’m actually not super familiar, but I wouldn’t turn down anything out of hand at this point either.

[ShyGuy]

As someone who works in the MH field this absolutely sucks and I totally get why you are feeling abandoned by her...

There should be a termination phase of treatment if she felt she was unable to help you...or she should have made arrangements to hand you off to a professional who could. Its ethically wrong not to do so and can lead directly to what you are feeling now...abandonment and distress.

I think what gets lost in the sauce due to her negligence though is the hard work and effort you have been putting in over the last several years working on yourself...its hard to see that now when this set back feels as if it has pushed you back down the rabbit hole.

Know that we are all here to offer support.

I'll go over my current thoughts on therapy... maybe there is something that can help Mounds here


Back in the day I think there was a stigma on asking for mental health or seeing psychiatrists. Like that is just for the mentally weak or something. Thankfully a lot of that stigma went away.


But at the same time I dont like the whole push of we are here to save you and you must do it our way. I dont think people should be over reliant on a therapist. That's kind of where I'm at now with mine. Like a therapist is there to help not save or enforce their views on patients.


Ultimately we the clients are the ones paying for these sessions and their salaries

[Plus Plus]

A little late here, but I wanted to add some perspective as I also work in mental health. My heart goes out to you and I hope that I can provide a small bit of help here, but I would be happy to also help via DM if you're more comfortable.

First off, I don't love saying this but it sounds like the therapist that you had is not someone who is a high quality professional. Some of the earliest things that you learn are that you never engage in dual or extended relationships with people that you treat or work with because of situations that can arise exactly like this. Having a very young and green therapist tell you that they can be like a mother to you is a serious red flag for this, and opens both parties up to a high amount of risk. The termination procedure as you're describing here is also pretty bad, but I was more alarmed by the things you were describing during treatment. I have filed more state incident reports stemming from things like this than I would care to count, as it is never a good situation.

I think that this relationship that you had with your therapist has altered your expectations for what you want to get through therapy, and it reads as if you're looking more for a connection or bond with a therapist than you are for a specific type of therapy. If you're looking for a connection or bond, I'd encourage you to find a path for that outside of your relationship with your therapist. Find a social organization, go back to school, foster a hobby relentlessly, move to a different city with friends, there are a lot of options that exist that could help. Retool what your expectations are on a daily, weekly, or lifelong basis outside of therapy.

Regarding therapy, I think that you might take a moment to see what you're looking to get out of your therapy situation and try to find a therapist who will be able to address those objective needs. If you're looking for strategies to move on past a previous relationship, for example, then the therapist should be a sherpa who is leading you up that mountain and not a best friend who is going to be arm-in-arm with you on the journey.

Again, I am very sad to read that this has happened, but you need to understand that this isn't your fault. You are correct that there has been unethical treatment - but the unethical part was letting things go down a path that is beyond the pale.

I would be happy to help in any way that I can, so please ask freely if I can elaborate on anything.

[ShyGuy]

A little late here, but I wanted to add some perspective as I also work in mental health. My heart goes out to you and I hope that I can provide a small bit of help here, but I would be happy to also help via DM if you're more comfortable.

First off, I don't love saying this but it sounds like the therapist that you had is not someone who is a high quality professional. Some of the earliest things that you learn are that you never engage in dual or extended relationships with people that you treat or work with because of situations that can arise exactly like this. Having a very young and green therapist tell you that they can be like a mother to you is a serious red flag for this, and opens both parties up to a high amount of risk. The termination procedure as you're describing here is also pretty bad, but I was more alarmed by the things you were describing during treatment. I have filed more state incident reports stemming from things like this than I would care to count, as it is never a good situation.

I think that this relationship that you had with your therapist has altered your expectations for what you want to get through therapy, and it reads as if you're looking more for a connection or bond with a therapist than you are for a specific type of therapy. If you're looking for a connection or bond, I'd encourage you to find a path for that outside of your relationship with your therapist. Find a social organization, go back to school, foster a hobby relentlessly, move to a different city with friends, there are a lot of options that exist that could help. Retool what your expectations are on a daily, weekly, or lifelong basis outside of therapy.

Regarding therapy, I think that you might take a moment to see what you're looking to get out of your therapy situation and try to find a therapist who will be able to address those objective needs. If you're looking for strategies to move on past a previous relationship, for example, then the therapist should be a sherpa who is leading you up that mountain and not a best friend who is going to be arm-in-arm with you on the journey.

Again, I am very sad to read that this has happened, but you need to understand that this isn't your fault. You are correct that there has been unethical treatment - but the unethical part was letting things go down a path that is beyond the pale.

I would be happy to help in any way that I can, so please ask freely if I can elaborate on anything.

I think in general if someone is looking for help and asks 10 different people they’ll get 10 different answers. But this view from someone in the field is informative as well to me going through something a little similar.

It seems a group here. We can have our differences of opinion on the Reds or other stuff but push comes to shove everyone is willing to help

[RFS62]

I think in general if someone is looking for help and asks 10 different people they’ll get 10 different answers. But this view from someone in the field is informative as well to me going through something a little similar.

It seems a group here. We can have our differences of opinion on the Reds or other stuff but push comes to shove everyone is willing to help

This is important, I think. Many different approaches suggested to you in this thread.

They all have one thing in common. It's by far the most important thing.

Everyone is sending out light and love to you.

We all care about you, and you absolutely have to know it. It's really a beautiful thing, the way so many different posters from every possible demographic is compelled to do the most human thing of all... to help someone in need.

All these different suggestions, they're rooted in hope that they can help you.

Focus on that, my friend. You are loved.

[ShyGuy]

This is important, I think. Many different approaches suggested to you in this thread.

They all have one thing in common. It's by far the most important thing.

Everyone is sending out light and love to you.

We all care about you, and you absolutely have to know it. It's really a beautiful thing, the way so many different posters from every possible demographic is compelled to do the most human thing of all... to help someone in need.

All these different suggestions, they're rooted in hope that they can help you.

Focus on that, my friend. You are loved.

I think that was more directed to Monds but good stuff

[Wonderful Monds]

This is important, I think. Many different approaches suggested to you in this thread.

They all have one thing in common. It's by far the most important thing.

Everyone is sending out light and love to you.

We all care about you, and you absolutely have to know it. It's really a beautiful thing, the way so many different posters from every possible demographic is compelled to do the most human thing of all... to help someone in need.

All these different suggestions, they're rooted in hope that they can help you.

Focus on that, my friend. You are loved.

Absolutely. I don’t want to feel like I’m diminishing that by any means. I’ve just been super zapped mentally for me to feel like I’m doing an adequate job of expressing my gratitude for that. And I have an endless amount for it.

[Wonderful Monds]

There's something about this that has got me extremely worried and stressed out the last couple days. Essentially I'm worried that my therapist has cut off contact with me, won't reply to emails etc.

Last I spoke with her was on June 1 I requested my notes and records for continuity of care for my next therapist and for some additional referrals. She said she would be back in touch with me soon with those resources. As I said, this was June 1.


Since I had not heard back, I emailed her monday asking if there were any updates. No response 24 hours later so I left her a voicemail just letting her know I had reached out for an update. No response still, so this morning I sent her a text letting her know I was trying to get info about my notes and records. Usually she responds within 24 hours so this had me concerned.

What moreso concerns me is that I wanted to send her an email with my thoughts and feelings on the termination process, and had some questions for her. One of which was what she mentioned in the termination session about "leaving the door open to work together again down the road."

I'm worried now that she has essentially cut off contact with me despite what I last heard from her. I think I may have screwed myself because I texted her last friday when the whole thing with the new therapist I found changing their mind about helpingme happened, mentioned to my therapist I wanted her to reconsider the termination, and now she will not communicate with me at all, without telling me so.

It was extremely important to me to send that email and get some of my side out since we didn't really have a termination process, and to clarify some things on her end. And now I'm worried I ruined it and won't be able to do that. I feel so upset and stressed that it's been consuming me the last couple days.

[Plus Plus]

There's something about this that has got me extremely worried and stressed out the last couple days. Essentially I'm worried that my therapist has cut off contact with me, won't reply to emails etc.

Last I spoke with her was on June 1 I requested my notes and records for continuity of care for my next therapist and for some additional referrals. She said she would be back in touch with me soon with those resources. As I said, this was June 1.


Since I had not heard back, I emailed her monday asking if there were any updates. No response 24 hours later so I left her a voicemail just letting her know I had reached out for an update. No response still, so this morning I sent her a text letting her know I was trying to get info about my notes and records. Usually she responds within 24 hours so this had me concerned.

What moreso concerns me is that I wanted to send her an email with my thoughts and feelings on the termination process, and had some questions for her. One of which was what she mentioned in the termination session about "leaving the door open to work together again down the road."

I'm worried now that she has essentially cut off contact with me despite what I last heard from her. I think I may have screwed myself because I texted her last friday when the whole thing with the new therapist I found changing their mind about helpingme happened, mentioned to my therapist I wanted her to reconsider the termination, and now she will not communicate with me at all, without telling me so.

It was extremely important to me to send that email and get some of my side out since we didn't really have a termination process, and to clarify some things on her end. And now I'm worried I ruined it and won't be able to do that. I feel so upset and stressed that it's been consuming me the last couple days.

Again, I find myself in a position where I see three things:

-The way you are feeling is valid, but please know that the way you are feeling is not your fault
-Your therapist sold you upstream and is again demonstrating a lack of professional and maybe personal character
-This is not how termination should work, and your situation is explicit evidence of this.

During a therapeutic relationship, it isn't uncommon to terminate - just like in any other personal, professional, friend, romantic relationship. However, your therapist effectively gave you the "well we can still be friends" talk when they were wanting to have a cut and clear end. Typically, in my line of work, a termination is served with a clear reason, and reasonable alternatives are provided. This might be the name of a different therapist, a personal goal to achieve before continuing therapy, or simply a statement that therapy is no longer needed.

You are demonstrating a clear need for closure from this relationship, but I don't think you're going to get it from your therapist. This is not your fault, is absolutely your therapist's fault, and is unfair to you.

As I stated before, I think that you could consider redefining your experience in therapy into two experiences, a personal one and a therapeutic one, and then finding outlets for both of those that achieve those specific silos of outcomes. I think that your experience here has actually done you a massive disservice.

Again, if you'd like to speak more specifically or would like me to elaborate on anything please don't hesitate to ask either here or via DM.

[Larry Schuler]

I know there’s trauma and maybe brain chemicals that are informing what you’re going through but, sometimes, when people let you down, it lets you see people’s human flaws and bridges some gap between how we sometimes build others up super high while placing ourselves as very low. We’re all trying some version of our best and we will all let each other down and hurt people in our lives. It also gives you an opportunity to take charge, assess that a situation is below the security and professional standard you deserve, and assert yourself. There’s power in building that muscle memory and realizing that, if it all goes to sh*t, you still have yourself and everything you bring and that is not nothing. As I said, you’re dealing with something that may be a cocktail of things beyond just literally this road block so I share these thoughts without presupposition of some sage wisdom or universal value therein. Just some food for thought. Hope you get that little lifeline or moments of peace soon that help us get through the bad bad times.

[ShyGuy]

There's something about this that has got me extremely worried and stressed out the last couple days. Essentially I'm worried that my therapist has cut off contact with me, won't reply to emails etc.

Last I spoke with her was on June 1 I requested my notes and records for continuity of care for my next therapist and for some additional referrals. She said she would be back in touch with me soon with those resources. As I said, this was June 1.


Since I had not heard back, I emailed her monday asking if there were any updates. No response 24 hours later so I left her a voicemail just letting her know I had reached out for an update. No response still, so this morning I sent her a text letting her know I was trying to get info about my notes and records. Usually she responds within 24 hours so this had me concerned.

What moreso concerns me is that I wanted to send her an email with my thoughts and feelings on the termination process, and had some questions for her. One of which was what she mentioned in the termination session about "leaving the door open to work together again down the road."

I'm worried now that she has essentially cut off contact with me despite what I last heard from her. I think I may have screwed myself because I texted her last friday when the whole thing with the new therapist I found changing their mind about helpingme happened, mentioned to my therapist I wanted her to reconsider the termination, and now she will not communicate with me at all, without telling me so.

It was extremely important to me to send that email and get some of my side out since we didn't really have a termination process, and to clarify some things on her end. And now I'm worried I ruined it and won't be able to do that. I feel so upset and stressed that it's been consuming me the last couple days.

I would think there should be an office manager who can help you with the records not the therapist?

If the therapist cut you off cold I say f**k him or her and good riddance

[Wonderful Monds]

She finally replied to my notes/referral requests, but noted “this will be the last time you hear from me” within, so I won’t get to send her that email with those questions I really wanted to ask her.


Feeling pretty much right up on the edge right now.

[Wonderful Monds]

This is not a statement of intent, but I wish I were not alive right now.

[Wonderful Monds]

It has never hurt more than it does right now this intensely to be alive. Every fiber of my being. I wish more than anything that I could just be dead right now and this would all be gone.