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Thread: The Divorce Thread

  1. #1
    Daffy Duck RedTeamGo!'s Avatar
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    The Divorce Thread

    I know some on here have gone through divorce.

    I have recently been thinking about it. Not sure if you can refer to my marriage as a marriage anymore. Not going to go into specifics.

    I am mostly curious about the logistics of the whole thing. How does it work? Is it as terrible of a process as I am imagining? What is the first step? How much should I expect this to cost me?

    Thanks


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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by RedTeamGo! View Post
    I know some on here have gone through divorce.

    I have recently been thinking about it. Not sure if you can refer to my marriage as a marriage anymore. Not going to go into specifics.

    I am mostly curious about the logistics of the whole thing. How does it work? Is it as terrible of a process as I am imagining? What is the first step? How much should I expect this to cost me?
    Thanks
    Havnt gone through it personally, but from my friends that have gone through it I would have to say almost everything . Good luck.
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    Member Sea Ray's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by RedTeamGo! View Post
    I know some on here have gone through divorce.

    I have recently been thinking about it. Not sure if you can refer to my marriage as a marriage anymore. Not going to go into specifics.

    I am mostly curious about the logistics of the whole thing. How does it work? Is it as terrible of a process as I am imagining? What is the first step? How much should I expect this to cost me?

    Thanks
    So the baby didn't lead to happiness for your wife?

    I've been through it but no kids involved.

  5. #4
    Daffy Duck RedTeamGo!'s Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Sea Ray View Post
    So the baby didn't lead to happiness for your wife?

    I've been through it but no kids involved.
    She is stressed about everything and redirects everything at me. I can do nothing right, basically. Just not a happy marriage whatsoever. I don't see it getting better.

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    Member Sea Ray's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by RedTeamGo! View Post
    She is stressed about everything and redirects everything at me. I can do nothing right, basically. Just not a happy marriage whatsoever. I don't see it getting better.
    Yeah, not good.

  7. #6
    I wear Elly colored glass WrongVerb's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    When my marriage of 13 years was at its end in 2004 we got a lawyer who specialized in divorce mediation to draw up the proper documents. Cost about $1500. That was in Virginia. I'm assuming costs and laws will be different in Ohio but it's something to look into if the divorce is going to be amicable. Oh, and no kids were involved so that might be different for you as well.

    BTW, it's going to suck in a lot of ways for awhile when you are back on your own.
    Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves. -- Carl Sagan (Pale Blue Dot)

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    They call me "chef"
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    I've read that marriage satisfaction is at its lowest point around the time children are first introduced to the picture. It sounds like a hard period in general. I'm sorry to hear it's been worse due to the relationship being strained.

  9. #8
    Sprinkles are for winners dougdirt's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Lawyer costs, at a minimum are probably going to run you $1500-2000. The retainer will probably be at least half of that.

    Beyond that, I can't help much - but I just know that much from some friends that have recently been divorced.

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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Sorry to hear it man, I'm going through it right now and honestly it is miserable.

    I don't have kids, so that has made it a lot easier. We are just using a mediator and that has really kept the costs down. I don't know what it costs for a lawyer in Ohio, but in CA it is between $5-8k for retainer plus hourly. So if you can play nice and are on the same page it won't be as expensive. I don't know how you'll do it without a lawyer if you have a kid though.

    Have you tried MC or anything yet?

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    Daffy Duck RedTeamGo!'s Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by BuckeyeRed27 View Post
    Sorry to hear it man, I'm going through it right now and honestly it is miserable.

    I don't have kids, so that has made it a lot easier. We are just using a mediator and that has really kept the costs down. I don't know what it costs for a lawyer in Ohio, but in CA it is between $5-8k for retainer plus hourly. So if you can play nice and are on the same page it won't be as expensive. I don't know how you'll do it without a lawyer if you have a kid though.

    Have you tried MC or anything yet?
    I asked if she wanted to see a MC and she said no and that she says everything on her mind.

    I have read that is a big alarm your divorce is inevitably heading towards divorce, the fact one or both of the spouses don't want to work on fixing problems.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by WrongVerb View Post
    BTW, it's going to suck in a lot of ways for awhile when you are back on your own.
    What specifically will suck?

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    Member Redsfaithful's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Worst time is when kids are 0-5. Once you get to school age it gets better.

    Definitely think so long as there's no abuse in a relationship counseling should be considered (and if partner won't go to counseling that's probably a good last straw.)

    Your life will be good and blown up, and she's in your life one way or the other forever now anyway, so it's the kind of thing you want to be sure about.
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  14. #12
    I wear Elly colored glass WrongVerb's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by RedTeamGo! View Post
    I asked if she wanted to see a MC and she said no and that she says everything on her mind.

    I have read that is a big alarm your divorce is inevitably heading towards divorce, the fact one or both of the spouses don't want to work on fixing problems.

    - - - Updated - - -



    What specifically will suck?
    For me, even though I wanted out of the marriage, I still spent about a year working through depression and other issues after the split. Beyond that, how you handle your money will be very different. Save as much as you can now, because it gets bad for awhile, especially if you're paying alimony and/or child support. Be ready to downsize your life and try to carry as little debt out of the divorce as possible.
    Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves. -- Carl Sagan (Pale Blue Dot)

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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by RedTeamGo! View Post
    I asked if she wanted to see a MC and she said no and that she says everything on her mind.

    I have read that is a big alarm your divorce is inevitably heading towards divorce, the fact one or both of the spouses don't want to work on fixing problems.

    - - - Updated - - -



    What specifically will suck?
    I would just be more direct. My wife and I went way to late because we thought the exact same thing. We did end up going and basically figured out that we were in no way both saying what we thought, but the damage had been done so to speak. That said you both obviously have to realize there is a problem and want to work on it 100% and if you don't, than just save you money and start the process.

  16. #14
    The pride is back. Assembly Hall's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by WrongVerb View Post
    For me, even though I wanted out of the marriage, I still spent about a year working through depression and other issues after the split. Beyond that, how you handle your money will be very different. Save as much as you can now, because it gets bad for awhile, especially if you're paying alimony and/or child support. Be ready to downsize your life and try to carry as little debt out of the divorce as possible.
    Very wise words. I would also add health. Depression is one thing, but geez I lost 50 lbs. after mine........and I didn't have it to lose. All I did was drink and pop pills. I could add more to this but I will save it for later. Just hang in there bro..........

  17. #15
    I wear Elly colored glass WrongVerb's Avatar
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    Re: The Divorce Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Assembly Hall View Post
    Very wise words. I would also add health. Depression is one thing, but geez I lost 50 lbs. after mine........and I didn't have it to lose. All I did was drink and pop pills. I could add more to this but I will save it for later. Just hang in there bro..........
    Oh yeah, at the end of that year 2004/2005 I weighed the least I'd weighed since high school, and I haven't been close to that weight since.
    Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves. -- Carl Sagan (Pale Blue Dot)


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